1. #1

    Jokes megathread

    I thought it odd that there is no megathread already for jokes, so I created one.

    1. If the joke is (very) NSFW, it may be a good idea to either cover it with spoiler tags or link to it externally and put "NSFW" in the text for the link.
    2. It is highly recommended that everyone reading this thread (or indeed this sub-forum) are not overly sensitive. On the other hand, if you're going to tell something extremely offensive, then it may be an idea to post it as NSFW.
    3. Try to only post jokes but even if you post more, always post a joke too.

    I'll start with just one normal joke and one NSFW one:

    My friend really changed when she became a vegetarian, it's like I've never seen herbivore.

    ...on a plane. Let's call them Steve and Bill.

    "Dude, what if we had sex?" asks Steve.

    "You crazy? Here, on the plane? It would be awkward, everyone would watch us doing it..."

    "Man, nobody is even paying attention to anything. Look!"

    Steve stands up and asks loudly:

    "Could I have a pencil, please?"

    Nobody gives a damn. Everyone is sleeping, reading, looking out the window, etc.

    "They really wouldn't care then, would they?" says Bill.

    So Steve and Bill have wild sex on the plane.

    Later, when the plane arrives to the airport and the people are leaving, the stewardess sees an old man who threw up all over his shirt, even his pants are soaking in the filth.

    "Sir, you should've asked for a bag!"

    "I didn't dare" whispers the old man. "A few rows ahead I saw a man asking for a pencil and he got fucked in the ass..."
    Last edited by squeeze; 2016-04-25 at 12:02 AM.

  2. #2
    Funniest joke you know

    Wasn't good enough for you?
    Quote Originally Posted by Warwithin View Post
    Politicians put their hand on the BIBLE and swore to uphold the CONSTITUTION. They did not put their hand on the CONSTITUTION and swear to uphold the BIBLE.
    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Jensen View Post
    Except maybe Morgan Freeman. That man could convince God to be an atheist with that voice of his . . .

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