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  1. #61
    Chuk Norris quote:
    I once fought a cobra!
    After five day's of suffering!
    The cobra died!

    " A single dream is more powerful than a thousand realities "

  2. #62
    Stood in the Fire wimbo125's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by anabolicz View Post
    Chuk Norris quote:
    I once fought a cobra!
    After five day's of suffering!
    The cobra died!
    *cough*You *cough*took *cough* that *cough* one *cough* from *cough* Expendables 2 *cough*
    Don't expect others to be happy with you if you aren't happy with yourself.

  3. #63
    Quote Originally Posted by wimbo125 View Post
    *cough*You *cough*took *cough* that *cough* one *cough* from *cough* Expendables 2 *cough*
    Ugh, don't remind me of that terrible movie. Please.

    I've got a joke.

    Chuck Norris.

    Haha.
    I'm not a native English speaker, and yet, I don't suck at English. The argument "English is not my mother tongue" doesn't actually give you an excuse to do so.

  4. #64
    Quote Originally Posted by wimbo125 View Post
    *cough*You *cough*took *cough* that *cough* one *cough* from *cough* Expendables 2 *cough*
    You should see a doctor for that cough.

  5. #65
    Quote Originally Posted by Noxiye View Post
    Ugh, don't remind me of that terrible movie. Please.

    I've got a joke.

    Chuck Norris.

    Haha.
    Let me tell you where to chuck that norris....

  6. #66
    Guy 1: Want a joke?
    Guy 2: If i wanted a joke i would follow you in the men's rest room and watch you pee.

    I couldn't stop laughing when i heard this one.

  7. #67
    Quote Originally Posted by Mike-N-Ike View Post
    All in the signature :P
    ok...i laughed harder at that than i probably should have.
    "The Horde has committed heinous crimes, Vol'jin. But some among you fought against Garrosh's tyranny. For that, I'm willing to end this bloodshed. But know this : if your Horde fails to uphold honor as Garrosh did, we will end you." - High King Varian Wrynn


  8. #68
    Quote Originally Posted by rzy View Post
    "womens rights"
    daaamn!!! So true

    " A single dream is more powerful than a thousand realities "

  9. #69
    A man walks into a bar.
    He said "ouch!"
    It was an iron bar.

    - Tommy Cooper

  10. #70
    A Mafia gang takes on a deaf man to run their deliveries, feeling it would be safer having someone unable to overhear conversations. However, one day when he is to deliver a large sum of money, he never shows up with it. The mobsters track him down, but don't find the money on him. As none of them are able to use sign language, they bring in an interpreter.
    Mobster: "Where'd you hide the money?" (Interpreter signs the question.)
    The bag man signs his reply. The interpreter says, "He says he had to ditch it in the river because the cops were onto him."
    Mobster: "I'm not fooling around! You better tell me where that money is!" (Interpreter again signs.)
    The bag man signs his reply, and the interpreter relays, "He swears he is telling the truth. He had to get rid of it."
    The mobster pulls out a revolver and points it between the deaf man's eyes. "Tell me where that money is, or I'll kill you right now!"
    (Interpreter signs his statement.)
    The bag man, sweating profusely, signs, "It's inside a shoebox under a loose floorboard in my bedroom closet."
    The interpreter says, "He says he doesn't know where it is and he doesn't think you have the guts to pull the trigger."

    ------


    DEAF COUPLE AT MOTEL:
    A deaf couple check into a motel. They retire early. In the middle of the night, the wife wakes her husband complaining of a headache and asks him to go to the car and get some aspirin from the glove compartment. Groggy with sleep, he struggles to get up, puts on his robe, and goes out of the room to his car. He finds the aspirin, and with the bottle in hand he turns toward the motel. But he cannot remember which room is his. After thinking a moment, he returns to the car, places his hand on the horn, holds it down, and waits. Very quickly the motel rooms light up, all but one. It's his wife's room, of course. He locks up his car and heads toward the room without a light.

  11. #71
    Pandaren Monk
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    ((The next joke is funnier if you just substitute a politician of your choice, or businessman, or whatever...))

    So this president of a somewhat opressed state finally dies and goes to the gates of Heaven. At the gates, Peter stops him and tsks softly "I AM really sorry, but I don't think you're allowed to enter just as you are..." He consults the book and nods "See... It says here while you weren't a really evil man considering your circumstances, you do still need to atone for your sins in Purgatory for a while until you're allowed to enter. But you're in luck. The bossman has had a new idea where you get to choose for yourself where to go."
    Peter leads the man over three huge doors and looks at him "Now, these are going to be the choices where you are going to have to spend the next five-hundred years..."

    With that warning, Peter opens the first door and a blast SO cold comes out, the man feels like he's already freezing solid. Inside are poor sinners, trapped in ice, but their clattering teeth and moaning from the cold is still audible. "No no no... close this door... I've seen enough." he says.
    Peter, then, opens the next door and out comes a heat so oppressive the man could swear he's already on fire. The inside almost looks like how Hell was once described to him, only without the actual torture. Again he backs off and tells Peter he's seen enough.
    The third door is opened and a stench rolls out that even takes away Peters breath for a second or two. But when he looks inside, all the man can see is a buch of people standing up to their wastes in excrement, having a cup of coffee and eating biscuits.

    With these choices for him to consider, he has quickly made up his mind... It's either five-hundred years of being frozen, being baked or... well, the people in the latter room don't seem to discomforted and he figures he can get used to the smell eventually. He makes his choice, Peter has him strip and in he goes.
    He takes a few moments to get to breathing more calmly again and starts to make his way over to one of the carts where he can see cups of coffee and a tray of cookies untill suddenly a disembodied voice booms out across the area...
    "Allright people, your daily coffee-break is over! Back to doing handstands!"

    Participant in the Rhonin Diaries 1, 2, 3 and 4.
    Not the best Rogue in the world, just a Tribute.

  12. #72
    Why did the sperm cross the road?

    Because I put on the wrong socks before i went for a walk.

  13. #73
    Legendary! Absolute Justice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by anabolicz View Post
    Chuk Norris quote:
    I once fought a cobra!
    After five day's of suffering!
    The cobra died!
    When the best joke you know is a Chuck Norris joke, something is horribly wrong.


  14. #74
    Bloodsail Admiral Kaj392's Avatar
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    /thread
    Quote Originally Posted by drwelfare View Post
    Strip naked, cover myself in butter and go kick some ass

  15. #75
    Quote Originally Posted by teebo View Post
    Close


    2 guy's walk in to a bar the 3rd one ducks.
    i dont get that one at all..

  16. #76
    Pit Lord Martinussen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by superstarz View Post
    i dont get that one at all..
    the bar we're talking about, is not one of those with alcoholics in it. its a iron bar hanging in the air. Two guys walk into it, while the third one ducks and misses it.
    "When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe, then you'll be successful"
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsSC2vx7zFQ

  17. #77
    The Patient cynsacat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by drwelfare View Post
    I'll have a coke...
    Aw, I really giggled at this. Did no one else get it? I just skimmed the thread; perhaps I missed it...

  18. #78
    My cofee was so black that he ask me if i want to buy some cock

  19. #79
    Why is Princess Diana like a Ferrerro Rocher?
    Because they both came out of France in a box.
    Because I want to say this every single day but don't want it to get a drag:
    1) The ingame store will only sell timesaver items. It won't affect balance.
    2) No, getting to 100 in half the time isn't pay2win. raids don't start until the second week, everyone has time to get there.
    4) getting charms faster is also not pay2win. getting those is easy, but not everyone has the time or want for dailies.

  20. #80
    Pit Lord Martinussen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nzall View Post
    Why is Princess Diana like a Ferrerro Rocher?
    Because they both came out of France in a box.
    i laughed more than i should
    "When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe, then you'll be successful"
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsSC2vx7zFQ

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