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  1. #101
    Quote Originally Posted by Doomhammzorz View Post
    i want more jokes...
    this is more of a riddle than a joke but here it goes..

    your in bed
    on one side of you is the hottest chick in the world..
    on the other side is a gay man..
    who do you turn your back to?

  2. #102
    Deleted
    Just been to the Dentist who asked me if I'd licked any Pussy recently...I said why? is there pubic hair in my teeth?...No he said, you've got Shit on your nose...



    Fixed :P
    Last edited by mmoc8d9a66b0a0; 2012-09-13 at 10:52 PM.

  3. #103
    The Lightbringer Waaldo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stravs View Post
    Just been to the Dentist who asked me if I'd licked any Pussy recently...I said no why is there pubic hair in my teeth?...No he said, you've got Shit on your nose...
    You said no....
    Where did the shit come from!?
    These aren't the spoilers you're looking for.

    Move along.

    Quote Originally Posted by Blueobelisk View Post
    Now, Waaldo is prepared to look for this person like Prince Charming testing everyone to see just how bad their psychological disorder is if their foot fits in the glass slipper.

  4. #104
    Deleted
    3 para olympians have been have been banned from the games already they tested positive for a brand substance... wd-40


    My wife came down from having a shower and said with a wink...ive just shaved my pussy do you know what that means?....yes i replied the fucking plughole is blocked.

    I see Mark Zuckerberg Facebook founder has got married to Priscilla Chan....It's nice to know that despite having billions in the bank he still shops online.


    I have lots more but they are very very crude and harsh....I don't want a ban :P
    Last edited by mmoc8d9a66b0a0; 2012-09-13 at 10:57 PM.

  5. #105
    What's brown and sticky? - A stick!

    What's the difference between Princess Di and Tiger Woods? - Tiger has a better driver.

  6. #106
    Dreadlord
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    Overheard today about the show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo

    "Every time my girlfriend turns that show on, the metal plate in my head shifts and my legs give out."

    I spit out my soda and couldn't stop laughing





    Following the unloading of the cattle in stockyard, this cowboy headed to a restaurant for dinner. The only seat was next to a lady who looked wealthy and educated. He couldn’t help overhearing her order.
    “I’ll have a breast of fowl, virgin fowl, make sure it’s a virgin, catch it yourself, garnish my plate with onions, a cup of coffee, not too hot, not too cold, and waiter, open the windows, I smell a horse, there must be a cowboy in here.”
    Thoroughly pissed off, the cowboy placed his order.
    “I’ll have a duck, a fu**ed duck, make sure it’s fu**ed, f**k it yourself if you have to, garnish my plate with horse shit, a cup of coffee, strong as mule piss, blow the foam off with a fart, and waiter, kick down the wall, I smell a c**t, there must be a whore in the house.

  7. #107
    Deleted
    *What's the difference between you and a line? The line is straight*

    Friend of mine tells me that one on a daily basis, often 3-24 times in a row. It's that funny apparently.

  8. #108
    Brewmaster slackjawsix's Avatar
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    whisper*mumble*whisper* HER VAGINA WAS IN THE SINK AHAHAHHA
    i live by one motto! "lolwut?"

  9. #109
    Quote Originally Posted by Alenarien View Post
    Bhí Bono le U2 os comhair lucht féachana ag ceolchoirm lá amháin, agus sheas sé ar an stáitse agus thosnaigh sé ag bualadh - bos go mall réidh.

    Ansin, i nghuth íseal, tromchúiseach labhair sé: "Gach uair a bhualaim mo bhosa, faigheann naíonán san Afraic bás."

    Arsa duine den lucht féachana cóngarach don stáitse: "Bhuel, mar sin, stad leis an bualadh - bos, a chladhaire!"
    +1 for joke, +1 more for Gaeilge.

  10. #110
    So a guy comes into a bar... no wait, it was a horse. So a guy comes into a horse ^^

  11. #111
    Deleted
    knock knock

    who's there

    ...............

  12. #112
    The Lightbringer Waaldo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Meneldur View Post
    So a guy comes into a bar... no wait, it was a horse. So a guy comes into a horse ^^
    That's a knee slapper
    These aren't the spoilers you're looking for.

    Move along.

    Quote Originally Posted by Blueobelisk View Post
    Now, Waaldo is prepared to look for this person like Prince Charming testing everyone to see just how bad their psychological disorder is if their foot fits in the glass slipper.

  13. #113
    Feminism.

    (Take that, Tumblr)
    Less QQ more PEWPEW.

  14. #114
    Old God endersblade's Avatar
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    What's the difference between a tribe of intelligent pygmies and a women's track team? One's a group of cunning runts...

    A blonde and a brunette were walking along the road when they came to a set of tracks. The blonde said, "These are deer tracks!" the brunette replied, "No silly, they're moose tracks!" They were still arguing when the train hit them.
    Quote Originally Posted by Warwithin View Post
    Politicians put their hand on the BIBLE and swore to uphold the CONSTITUTION. They did not put their hand on the CONSTITUTION and swear to uphold the BIBLE.
    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Jensen View Post
    Except maybe Morgan Freeman. That man could convince God to be an atheist with that voice of his . . .
    Quote Originally Posted by LiiLoSNK View Post
    If your girlfriend is a girl and you're a guy, your kid is destined to be some sort of half girl/half guy abomination.

  15. #115
    how does moses take his tea?


    hebrews it.

  16. #116
    This thread is so damn bad ....why reply with some stupid comment and no joke...you think you are cute but everyone else thinks your just lame .

    How do you fit an elephant onto a Safeway bag ?
    You take the S out of safe and the F out of way



















    get it ?

    Please do not harass people. - Markluzz
    Last edited by Markluzz; 2012-09-16 at 10:32 PM.

  17. #117
    I am Murloc! Azutael's Avatar
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    I love more dark and morbid jokes, so here's one.

    “I’ve got a long history of suicide in my family. The good news is it skips a generation. So, if I’m lucky, my kids will kill themselves.”

  18. #118
    Quote Originally Posted by Elite Peon View Post
    This thread is so damn bad ....why reply with some stupid comment and no joke...you think you are cute but everyone else thinks your just lame .

    How do you fit an elephant onto a Safeway bag ?
    You take the S out of safe and the F out of way



















    get it ?

    nope.. dont get it at all
    can u explain it

  19. #119
    come on guys we need more jokes.. =)

  20. #120
    2 blondes walking through the park, one of them says, oh look a dead bird. Other one looks up and says, where?

    Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a park bench? The bench can support a family.

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