funniest joke you know

[Deleted]

Me: Knock Knock
You: Who's there?
Me: Little boy Blue
You: Little boy Blue who?
Me: Micheal Jackson.




Too soon ?

[Rhaide]

i'll have a coke...

excellent reference.

[Zoma]

What does the Starship Enterprise have in common with toilet paper?

They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons.

[muto]

A lawyer, a doctor, a boy scout and a priest were all out on a small plane for an afternoon flight when the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the pilot's best efforts, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot yelled out to his passengers that they'd better jump, grabbed a parachute and bailed out.
Unfortunately, that left only three remaining parachutes. Grabbing one, the doctor said, "I am a doctor and I save lives, so I must live," and he jumped.
The lawyer then grabbed a parachute and said, "I am the smartest man in the world. I definitely deserve to live." Then he jumped.
Looking at the young boy, the priest said, "Son, I have been fortunate to have lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace."
Handing the parachute back to the priest, the boy scout said, "Don't worry, Father. The smartest man in the world just jumped out with my backpack!"

[Waaldo]

Two blonds lock their keys in the car. One of them suggest the call 911. The other one says "That's a good idea, but they better make it quick. It looks like it's going to rain and I left the top down."

[Lodreh]

I'll have a coke...

Well played sir

So a newly married deaf couple were laying down some ground rules for sex. Since the lights would be off they experimented with different touching suggestions. The wife suggested that if he wanted sex he should touch her left breast twice... if she agreed she would grab his penis and yank twice... he exclaimed that was a capital idea and if she wasn't into it that night she should just yank 50 times.

[Gohan29]

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

[Roguezor]

nope.. dont get it at all
can u explain it

You're kinda supposed to respond to it...

Like: "...take the S out of safe and F out of way"
you: "But, there's no F in way"

Hope that helped

[Mike-N-Ike]

How do you confuse a blonde?
-Tell her to go sit in the corner of a round room



How does the blonde confuse you? -She does sit in the corner of a round room O.o

[Deleted]

Why does the chicken cross the Möbius Strip? - To get to the same side.

[superstarz]

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk.

[TJ]

One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver.
She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so.
She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you."
He replies "BREASTS."

[charlesethan]

Catch A Rabbit

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals.

The President decides to give them a test.
He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in.

They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in.

After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in.

They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear.
The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

[Deleted]

" Two old maids on a beach, streaker ran past, one had a stroke, the other one couldn’t reach."

---------- Post added 2012-10-05 at 01:45 PM ----------

"Yesterday I read an article about the dangers of drinking too much, it scared the
s**t out of me. So today I decided I'm never reading again."

---------- Post added 2012-10-05 at 01:47 PM ----------

"Whats better than winning gold at the Paralympics?

Having a pair of legs."

[Bolson13]

One dumb blond tells the other "I lost 7 pounds".
Other one "I don't see any change".
First one "you can't see it because I lost them silly"

[Nario64]

This is racist, you have been warned.

Guy 1: "Hey, what was the name of the black guy in The Jetsons?"
Guy 2: "I don't remember a black guy in The Jetsons..."
Guy 1: "Isn't the future great?"

Edit:
And this one too:

A huge muscular aboriginal man is sitting at a bar having a beer, minding his own. A man walks into the bar. He's very flamboyantly gay and he notices the aboriginal man sitting at the bar. He walks over to him, looks him up and down, leans in and whispers "Hey, how about a blow job?" The aboriginal man became overwhelmed with rage, taking this man's whole head in his hand and throwing it down onto the bar. Then he gives a quick hook to his gut and then picks up the bloody man and throws him out the bar doors and goes sit down again by his drink. The bartender comes over and asks "What was that all about?" The aboriginal man says "I don't know, something about a job."

[wariofan1]

Grown men watching My Little Pony.

Says the stuck up anime fanatic >.>

so not the funniest, but appropriate

a Death Knight, Warrior and Paladin walk into a bar and say "LF2M, Tank and Healer".

I hate to admit it, but this is so me, my brother and my friend...

[Nebthet]

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?

[Throren]

A baby seal walks into a club ...*ba'dum tish*

[YosemiteClimber]

Why doesn't Justin Bieber like to shop at Sport's Authority?

Because he prefers Dicks.