Really f'd up family situation!

[Deleted]

sorry in advance for my spelling and punctuation but I am typing this up on my phone at work.

last friday morning my mum was rushed to hospital with a suspected heart attack. The doctors believe the heart attack caused by prolonged stress. thankfully my mum has been getting better the past week and hopefully will be released later today. Good news eh?
Well it would be if it wasnt for my dad. My dad has always had short fuse. despite what has happened to his wife he is still starting arguements.

Last night before they went to hospital him and my 2 younger sisters had a fight about the dogs. He then took them up to hospital to see my mum. He got out of the car walked on ahead of them straight up to her room sat down for 2 minutes said nothing then got up and walked out and sat in the car for an hour until visiting times where over. He then took them home still not saying anything ran red lights left them of at the house and took of to his sisters for a couple hours. My mum was worried sick about what the hell was goin on. which really is the last thing she needs right now.

When i found out later what he had done i blew a gasket. I could have killed him would it not have made the situation even worse. I approached him this morning and told him to wise up. But he wont listen he said i should mind my own buisness and he could do whatever He wanted. Which then led to another fight.

I honestly dont know what to do. I feel like im about to have a heart attack im so stressed out.

[N-7]

Just ignore him and advice your sisters to ignore him and by ignore him I mean just "yes him" out of an argument (also try not to sound like you're mocking him). Further than that, there is nothing you can do really and stressing yourself or fighting him will just cause further problems. Good luck.

[Activi-T]

Did you maybe stop to think what may be going on in his head currently? His wife has just had a heart attack and is in hospital caused by prolonged stress, something he may blame himself for (as well as you guys too obviously). On top of that he has to deal with everything himself while she is in the hospital and it seems you all explode at each other over the slightest thing.

You aren't making him feel any better by telling him to 'wise up' are you? Maybe you and your sisters should try harder to keep things civil and try and appreciate how badly your dad probably feels.

He obviously went to his sisters to talk things through or for a bit of escapism, can you really blame him for wanting that?

[Restototems]

Focus on your mother right now. Try like hell to ignore your father, as the above have stated. She needs your help and support, and by being there for her, you will most likely make yourself, and her, feel better.

[Kathandira]

I agree, he just needs some time to cool off and relax, perhaps when your mother is out of the hospital the two of them should go on a vacation and leave the kids with their aunt.

I am really sorry to hear about your family, it sounds very tough and heartbreaking. I hope it all works out in the end.

[Terahertz]

I agree with Activi-T and Kathandira. Don't be mad at him. He has a hard time already :/

[Sealed Shut]

It takes 2 parties to argue. If you don't engage him, the argument doesn't happen. I'm not saying what he's doing is right... but i can't judge him, especially only hearing one side of it. You should just focus on your mom and her well-being. Do you need your dad to visit with her? or to bring your sisters to visit?

[Aphie]

Why don't you try sitting down with your dad and try talking about how he feels, rather than thinking it's all his fault. He might just need to get something off his chest to make him feel better about what's going on around him. I wouldn't say ignoring him is the best idea if anything I wouldn't do this at all. On top of that just get out of fights straight away, rather than making them go on and on, just agree with what he's saying but try not to come across as a d*ck about it.

Other than that, I would leave him be and let him get on with what he feels is right to stop fights from breaking out and everyone being pissed off at everyone if talking to him doesn't work.

[Deleted]

My dad also have a terrible temper..
But as someone else said, its not an easy time for him either.
Diffrent people handle tragedy in diffrent way, maybe he just need to sit alone in his car and think?

Take care, hope things get better.

[Skippy88]

Speaking for myself I am not good at handling bad situations. I do wonder if your dad is acting the way he is because he isn't handling the heart attack well or if something happened before the heart attack and he's blaming himself. Talk to him and find out what's going on.

[Deleted]

Sounds like he's having a rough time handling a sudden crisis with his wife's health. Also sounds like his kids are not making it any easier.

[Theangryone]

It is always difficult to armchair quarterback things like this as no one knows the whole story. Adults get stressed just like anyone else and people handle things differently, that being said the fact that you blame him for starting arguments and have turned to internet forums speaks volumes also. Arguments happen when one or more people refuse to listen, if you want your dad to chill out I suggest you and your sisters chill out and listen to him when he says or tells you do something.

[Raldazzar]

Sounds like he's having a rough time handling a sudden crisis with his wife's health. Also sounds like his kids are not making it any easier.

pretty much summs it up, if my wife was in hospital id be going loopy looking after my one daughter on my own.. be a better son.

[Deleted]

Thank you for all your replies. I have calmed down a bit since this morning and things are getting better. Me starting on him this morning wasnt a good idea. I actually think he felt bad about what happened the night before and then i came in guns blazing. Although he is still an asshole. Anyway there are more important things to concentrate on now.