So I went coffin shopping today...

[Tradewind]

The idea of being launched from a catapult into a crowd has always been appealing to me.

Fixed that. We all knew what you were trying to say.

There is probably some law prohibiting using a coffin more than once due to some kind of sanitary reasons.

With the power of Febreeze, nobody will know.

[Deleted]

Such a serious discussion yet reading some of the comments I can't help but laugh.

Now though, being a bit more serious, why would anyone want to be cremated? In a few hundreads of years when cellular reconstruction is perfected, and the future people want to bring back the "past people" (us), your DNA will be unavailable if cremated, while that of people being buried will be available. So we'll get brought back to a futuristic world, while you will remain dead. Combine that with the fact that if you're atheist, you belive in no higher force or Heaven or similar instance, why would you want your death to be an absolute permanent thing by making sure you won't be brought back?

Even if you do belive in a further instance as Heaven, like I do, maybe you'd like to return to Earth sometimes "in a visit" as actually yourself, so why give up the option? This not even counting that in many religions at the second/third/290384283th coming of God/s/ess/esses your former body is used as a rebirthed vessel.


I just don't understand why people want to be cremated...

[endersblade]

Oh, I decided I want a different way. I wanna be cremated and have my ashes mixed in with the sand at a playground. The other alternative is to have it tossed inside of a bouncy castle, or into the ballroom at McDonalds. As long as there's some way for my ashes to irritate children as much as they've irritated me, I can rest in peace.

This is the most profoundly awesome thing I have ever quoted. And I am totally backing this myself!

[xylophone]

There is probably some law prohibiting using a coffin more than once due to some kind of sanitary reasons.

Are the dead people going to get sick from all the other dead people?

[Tradewind]

Are the dead people going to get sick from all the other dead people?

Holy shit, maybe it makes zombies.

[Rotted]

You could always ask your family to eat you too. Saves them money on food for a bit and you will forever be part of them.

Omg lmao, Its going in my will to my to be grand children in the decades to come, you want my cash, you have to eat my buttock,

Seriously though, while I agree with you nothing fancy is needed, I don't quite like the idea of a wooden coffin, breaking with time, and being smothered in mud and insects,

Also I don't like the idea of cremation, you know just incase one of these religions are right and you need your body / the state your body was ,

Also, I would be having a emergency panic button built into the coffin which will be connected to every one of my children's house, in-case I friken wake up, (Imo it has happened )

Also, I will tell my favorite family member to make sure the doctors pump me with some form of drug that would kill a man, to ensure I was dead, then I would make sure before I died, that the above mentioned panic button, would have a built in secret timer to sound off, every year, on the day and time I died,

Yes I'm a evil bastard, and yes I do mean most of things I've typed

[xylophone]

Holy shit, maybe it makes zombies.

Bury them en masse with a couple bottles of viagra, worth a try?

[lockedout]

closed casket and no viewing of me. As if I want everyone i loved in the world to see my dead corpse and have them with that memory of me in their heads for the rest of their lives.

This is why I don't attend wakes. I like to have a happy memory of the deceased, not a dead person in a box. Wakes are old and really served one purpose, so debt collectors knew you were dead.

[Rotted]

Are the dead people going to get sick from all the other dead people?

Probably, its, a build up of bacteria in the coffin from the dead, probably highly infectious, cracked open, it will cover anyone close to it

[Tradewind]

Bury them en masse with a couple bottles of viagra, worth a try?

But when Aunt Gerty's crohn's disease mixes with Uncle Wally's Psoriasis in the mass grave, what if it gives birth to some sort of weird zombie confab. Like that teddy bear monster in Akira.

[Arganis]

Fancy coffins are like fancy everything-else, you don't buy it because it's useful you buy it because it makes you feel good about yourself and inflates your ego. So when people buy 15k coffins for themselves or others it's because given their ego they don't think any less will do.

Personally if I were swimming in cash I'd get myself a luxurious waterproof casket and I'd have that sent to the bottom of the ocean.

[Azutael]

If i had the means to, I would buy myself an island or a hilltop some place special to me. And have a burial mound, or be put in the ground and have a stone "circle" of huge stones, only in the shape of a boat.

If my family dare to put me in hallowed ground, I will haunt them!

Or be launched into space.

[xylophone]

But when Aunt Gerty's crohn's disease mixes with Uncle Wally's Psoriasis in the mass grave, what if it gives birth to some sort of weird zombie confab. Like that teddy bear monster in Akira.

Even better!

[Tziva]

The fact that you purposefully went out to purchase a coffin for when you're dead is messed up.

The fact that a moderator in the first reply (Fuzzie is a mod, right?) didn't say anything at all about this is just completely fucked up.

Not anymore than buying life insurance or preparing a will, which is something that many people do at some point in time in their lives. And lots of people prepay for funeral costs, burial plots, etc.

Being prepared for the sake of your family is never a bad thing.

[Moon-Man]

I want either cremation, or I ask someone to chuck my corpse to a zoo to feed the animals, lol.

[slackjawsix]

i want my coffin to be open and for my tongue to be sticking out HA! funerals don't have to be sad all the time make it fun

[Powerogue]

I want a funeral pyre, old school style with coins over the eyes and everything.

I admit a viking pyre funeral would be pretty cool. Then again, I don't care, I'll be dead, and don't get to watch it.

[Rotted]

Fancy coffins are like fancy everything-else, you don't buy it because it's useful you buy it because it makes you feel good about yourself and inflates your ego. So when people buy 15k coffins for themselves or others it's because given their ego they don't think any less will do.

Personally if I were swimming in cash I'd get myself a luxurious waterproof casket and I'd have that sent to the bottom of the ocean.

Just to be a kill joy, Pressure at that depth would crush the coffin and you in a heart beat, wouldn't really matter if its waterproof

[Teokis]

Gonna buy a coffin,

Get cremated, so my family can spread it somewhere..not sure yet. Tell family and friends to set up closed coffin funeral.

Have huge funeral and my 2 best friends run out butt ass naked and push my coffin over if they're still alive.
With this song playing, just because.

[Killmaim Deathbringer]

Freeze me in Liquid Nitrogen. Smash me to tiny pieces and scatter me across the earth.