Women, Men & Sex

[Faunwea]

Not really to be honest. I cant say I've ever thought about a man, no matter how physically attractive he is that way only by looking at him. And the other important details don't become apparent before I either interact with him in some way or see him talk, do things etc. from afar for longer (for example actors).

So at least for me, it's never "ooh, he looks hot, I want to jump in the bed with him!". In fact, I've actually checked out other women more than men, either to feel better about myself or out of jealousy.

I second this.

Usually what gets me about men is if I know how funny or kind they are so maybe that comes into play in how interested I am in the physical desiring strange men, but even when I was single I can not remember a time when I have looked around, saw a handsome man, and fantasized about having sex with him.

And for the record I am far from being asexual or frigid. Not sharing any details though.

[KHShadowrunner]

I second this.

Usually what gets me about men is if I know how funny or kind they are so maybe that comes into play in how interested I am in the physical desiring strange men, but even when I was single I can not remember a time when I have looked around, saw a handsome man, and fantasized about having sex with him.

And for the record I am far from being asexual or frigid. Not sharing any details though.

I third this, and re-affirm that this is not a gender-specific trait at all. In fact my situation is almost the opposite.

[gneugen]

You clearly have never been in a situation where a female would not be honest with you, and continued to use you as her shoulder to cry on and for your money.

Yes, many boys use it as an excuse for why they can't get laid. Does not mean that there are not evil, reprehensible girls out there who take advantage of it. But whenever a guy complains about the friend zone, you can almost be certain that they don't give two flying fucks about the idiom that there are "plenty of fish in the sea".

No, I haven't ever been in that situation because I don't need someone to be honest with me about how they feel. They show that with their actions. Someone who is using you as a shoulder to cry on and for your money is just that: a low self-esteem whiner that is also a cheapskate user. If you are still getting something out of it in your life, you'll continue to associate with that person. Any other explanation is entirely self-serving and out of touch with reality.

In response to women who take advantage of the friend zone... there are also men who take advantage of the ideals women build up around men. Big whoop. That's no reason to glorify and continue to accept the friend zone as a real thing. It isn't real, unless you give it credence. Think of it like the Futurama episode where Bender becomes religious. Hell doesn't exist until he accepts the terms of the robot religion. The friend zone is the same thing. It only exists if you actually subscribe to the notion that you have to wait for a woman to tell you that your romantic/sexual aspirations will never be fulfilled with her. Learn to not get attached to uninterested women and you'll save yourself time and frustration. You'll no longer be relegated to imaginary relationship zones where you're not taken seriously. Most importantly, you'll stop serving yourself excuses for why everyone else is responsible for your failure to acquire what you want.

[Deleted]

God no! I do not think like that at all.. Isn't that something 15 year old guys in the puberty do?

[Pony Soldier]

Sometimes that's my first thought but then other times I try to see what kind of person she would be like. Usually I can tell by the way they dress. If they're dressed up all whorey with their skin tight spandex and gallons of grease in their hair and loads of make up on their face and they have a shirt on that says something like "juicy" or some stupid shit like that then I avoid them. But yes whenever I do see a hot girl I sometimes imagine what it would be like to engage in night wrasslin' with her.

You can't tell me girls don't do the same.

[Vizardlorde]

God no! I do not think like that at all.. Isn't that something 15 year old guys in the puberty do?

I'll take that as a compliment, people still don't believe me when I tell them my age, they still think I'm like 15-16 despite acting like an old man and being 20.

[Laize]

No, I haven't ever been in that situation because I don't need someone to be honest with me about how they feel. They show that with their actions. Someone who is using you as a shoulder to cry on and for your money is just that: a low self-esteem whiner that is also a cheapskate user. If you are still getting something out of it in your life, you'll continue to associate with that person. Any other explanation is entirely self-serving and out of touch with reality.

In response to women who take advantage of the friend zone... there are also men who take advantage of the ideals women build up around men. Big whoop. That's no reason to glorify and continue to accept the friend zone as a real thing. It isn't real, unless you give it credence. Think of it like the Futurama episode where Bender becomes religious. Hell doesn't exist until he accepts the terms of the robot religion. The friend zone is the same thing. It only exists if you actually subscribe to the notion that you have to wait for a woman to tell you that your romantic/sexual aspirations will never be fulfilled with her. Learn to not get attached to uninterested women and you'll save yourself time and frustration. You'll no longer be relegated to imaginary relationship zones where you're not taken seriously. Most importantly, you'll stop serving yourself excuses for why everyone else is responsible for your failure to acquire what you want.

Why is it always the man's problem? Why does no one get angry at women for abusing others' feelings like that?

Women aren't generally inclined to outright say "I'm not interested in you romantically" (Though I have had one experience where she said that. I was quite appreciative of that honest.) even though the very fact that the guy asked her out is almost always indicative that he felt differently.

The lack of honesty (Or unwillingness to be confrontational) created the PUA community. I wouldn't exactly call it a healthy response, but it's a response to an unhealthy behavior to begin with.

[Deleted]

its a lie, women do the same thing

[Seref]

I have a few girl friends, one that I've known since 5th grade(I'm 28 soon, so thats 16 years), I will admit we've had times when we've not always been on the same level, she, like almost every girl I know have tendencies of being... whats the word, like claiming ownership haha... she has not always agreed with the choices I've made when it comes to both girlfriends and casual sex partners, but that was when we were younger. She is a beautiful woman by most definitions one could come up with but we've never had sex despite having lived together as flat mates, so I've seen.... and heard her doing a lot a of things .... no secrets man(well not many at least rofl)!

She has never taken any initiative and I've certainly never wanted to go down that path. I mean going by how she acted back when we were younger one could have suspected jealousy but thats the way things are among dudes to quite often, I'm pretty sure a lot of guys can relate to how they feel their "bro" is getting whiped, how their friendship gets more marginalized when they are in a relationship, fewer nights out with the guys etc. Anyways she has certainly had her chances and so have I... but nothing has ever happen, sure I'm no Brad Pitt but I've always had decent game for whatever reason, but going by her behaviour back when we were younger I certainly suspected she that she might be secrectly like me more then just a friend, yet she never acted on it. Nowdays this is never an issue, I think it's simply changes as one gets older and more mature.

I think I've read/watched for too many romance novels/dramas, so I'm kind of a hopeless romantic, but that sounds like it could be love.

[zEmini]

its a lie, women do the same thing

They do. Women want it almost as much as men do, but they are more patient. Why? Because they can be.

[nightshark]

Why is it always the man's problem? Why does no one get angry at women for abusing others' feelings like that?

Women aren't generally inclined to outright say "I'm not interested in you romantically" (Though I have had one experience where she said that. I was quite appreciative of that honest.) even though the very fact that the guy asked her out is almost always indicative that he felt differently.

The lack of honesty (Or unwillingness to be confrontational) created the PUA community. I wouldn't exactly call it a healthy response, but it's a response to an unhealthy behavior to begin with.

The friend zone wouldn't even exist if the persuer was clear about his intentions from the start. But they are not - they pretend to be a "nice guy" who wants to be friends (in the hope she'll fall for him and sleep with him). So do we blame the persuer for not being confrontational? After all, he is the one who has the problem.

[Laize]

The friend zone wouldn't even exist if the persuer was clear about his intentions from the start. But they are not - they pretend to be a "nice guy" who wants to be friends (in the hope she'll fall for him and sleep with him). So do we blame the persuer for not being confrontational? After all, he is the one who has the problem.

You're acting like all instances of this come from people who don't make their intentions clear. What about people who ask a girl on a date, kiss her and then get stuck with "just friends"? Not sure how intentions could be misrepresented there.

[nightshark]

You're acting like all instances of this come from people who don't make their intentions clear. What about people who ask a girl on a date, kiss her and then get stuck with "just friends"? Not sure how intentions could be misrepresented there.

So how much time have you lost by doing that? If you take a girl on one date, not much. Noone is forcing you to stay friends with her because she took you on one date.

This shit happens. It happens to everyone, men and women. Deal with it.

[Laize]

So how much time have you lost by doing that? If you take a girl on one date, not much. Noone is forcing you to stay friends with her because she took you on one date.

This shit happens. It happens to everyone, men and women. Deal with it.

I understand that.

I'm simply saying that it's the reason for the PUA community. That's them "dealing with it".

Many people seem to have a problem with said community.

[Wells]

You're acting like all instances of this come from people who don't make their intentions clear. What about people who ask a girl on a date, kiss her and then get stuck with "just friends"? Not sure how intentions could be misrepresented there.

She's not into you and just being nice.

[Laize]

She's not into you and just being nice.

Thanks, Love Doctor. My point was that when women are honest about it, her position is unassailable. When they're "just being nice" about it, they're actually being pretty cruel.

[Torq]

I understand that.

I'm simply saying that it's the reason for the PUA community. That's them "dealing with it".

Many people seem to have a problem with said community.

No, you're looking to justify it so you can justify your own actions, by the sounds of things. People have a problem with the community because they attempt to objectify women and relationships, for the sake of "getting laid." They have a very childish mentality; why should anyone be supportive of said community?

[Wells]

Thanks, Love Doctor.

Yet too many guys can't figure that out and instead rage about how unfair women are.

[Boarwood]

I'm a guy. I have a lot of close female friends. Most of them, I know well enough to where I can see them as pretty or whatever but not to the point where I'm attracted to them. I guess I'm just good at identifying someone who would make a good friend as opposed to someone I want to date. They are different groups, at least for me.

[Itisamuh]

It may be the first impulsive thought that enters my head, sure, but it disappears as soon as she's out of my sight. I wouldn't read too much into it. Even if I'm with a girlfriend and another good looking girl shows up, it's still going to cross my mind for a second. Obviously it doesn't really mean anything more than "if I were single and she threw herself at me, I wouldn't refuse."