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  1. #21
    There was an engineer, manager and programmer driving down a steep mountain road.

    The brakes failed and the car careened down the road out of control.

    Half way down the driver managed to stop the car by running it against the embankment narrowing avoiding going over a cliff.

    They all got out, shaken by their narrow escape from death, but otherwise unharmed.

    The manager said "To fix this problem we need to organize a committee, have meetings, and through a process of continuous improvement, develop a solution."

    The engineer said "No that would take too long, and besides that method never worked before. I have my trusty pen knife here and will take apart the brake system, isolate the problem and correct it."

    The programmer said "I think your both wrong! I think we should all push the car back up the hill and see if it happens again."

    also,
    http://www.phy.ilstu.edu/~rfm/107f07/epmjokes.html
    Because I want to say this every single day but don't want it to get a drag:
    1) The ingame store will only sell timesaver items. It won't affect balance.
    2) No, getting to 100 in half the time isn't pay2win. raids don't start until the second week, everyone has time to get there.
    4) getting charms faster is also not pay2win. getting those is easy, but not everyone has the time or want for dailies.

  2. #22
    Argon walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve noble gases here!" Argon doesn't react.

  3. #23
    The Lightbringer Belize's Avatar
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    Why don't you come back to my place so I can show you the exponential growth of my natural log.

  4. #24
    Legendary! Reg's Avatar
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    Archimedes, Pascal, and Newton are playing hide-and-seek. Archimedes covers his eyes and starts counting. Pascal looks around and hides behind a bush. Newton grabs a stick and scrapes a one meter by one meter square in the dirt and stands in it. Otherwise he does not hide at all. Archimedes opens his eyes and looks around. Of course, he immediately sees Newton and calls "I see Newton." Newton calmly says "But hang on, one Newton in a square meter is a Pascal!"

  5. #25
    High Overlord Arvidor's Avatar
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    seems relevant.

  6. #26

    Cool

    Math joke:
    Why can't negative numbers be trees?
    Because their roots are imaginary.

    Philosophy Joke:
    Descarte walks into a bar. The bartender says "would you like a drink?" Descarte responds "I think not!" and disappears.

    Programming Joke ()
    My teacher told me to drop the argument, so I did, but then I got an error:
    Traceback (most recent call last):
    File "<pyshell#0>", line 1, in <module>
    range()
    TypeError: range expected at least 1 arguments, got 0

  7. #27
    Fluffy Kitten Dyra's Avatar
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    Why did the cat slide off the roof?

    It didn't have enough Mu.

    A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.

  8. #28
    Ganondorf can't surf the internet, too many links.

  9. #29

    Red face

    Quote Originally Posted by Tearor View Post
    There's only 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don't.
    I Lol'd

    to the uninitiated - "10" or more accurately "00000010" is binary for 2.
    Originally Posted by Daxxarri
    I admit to having a nice diabolic cackle now and then, but it's not like I'm sitting in front of a bank of monitors each filled with an angry forum thread, stroking a siamese cat and telling my henchmen that they've failed me for the last time. (Source)

  10. #30
    The Patient
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    C dot C dot run

    Is this nerdy enough?

  11. #31
    Epic! schwank05's Avatar
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    What to hear a dirty joke?

    "Sure"

    Pig fell in the mud, LOL

  12. #32
    The Patient
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    How do you tell what sex a chromosone is?

    Pull down its genes.

  13. #33
    Not nerdy, but dry as hell...

    "Have you heard about these new corduroy pillows? They're making headlines!!"

  14. #34
    Dreadlord Felicia's Avatar
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    My husband once used this on me: Needless to say, it worked. lol

    Do I get experience for exploring you?

    He had a few others from the past, but he's on duty today. Also in his AWAT class, so I can't get them! :/

  15. #35
    A physicist, statistician, and engineer are building rockets in an attempt to hit a target in the field.

    The physicist fires the first rocket, and it lands five yards short.

    The engineer fires the second, the rocket overshoots and lands five yards long.

    The statistician tells out: WE HIT IT!
    Last edited by Bashkar; 2013-04-18 at 06:25 PM.

  16. #36
    I am Murloc! muto's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mcbeefy View Post
    **How do you tell when a mathematician is an extravert? When he talks to your shoes instad of his own

    **An engineer is someone who wishes he was a physicist but wasnt smart enough. A physicist thinks if he was only a little smarter he could be god. If god was a little smarter he could be a mathematician.

    **3 physicists and 3 chemists are on a train to a conference together. The chemists are suprised when the physicists only buy one ticket. "How are you going to travel," they ask. "Wait and see," comes the reply.

    On the train all 3 physicists pile into a bathroom. When the conductor is checking tickets he knocks on the bathroom door and a hand shoves out the one ticket. The chemists think this is pretty clever. On the way home they buy one ticket for the 3 of them, but notice the physicists buy no ticket. "How are you going to travel," they ask. "Wait and see," comes the reply.

    On the train the 3 chemists pile into a bathroom. One of the physicists walks up to the bathroom after a few minutes, knocks and says "ticket please."
    Lol that's good.


  17. #37
    The Patient Nario64's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Evil Inside View Post
    Argon walks into a bar.
    The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here!"
    Argon doesn't react.
    Quote Originally Posted by Latias12 View Post
    Argon walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve noble gases here!" Argon doesn't react.
    There's only 2 pages, and a repost already?

    Quote Originally Posted by Valleera View Post
    Descartes walks into a bar and sits down, the bartender walks up to him and says "You, my man, look like you need a stiff drink." Descartes considers this, and shakes his head "No, I don't think-" and ceases to exist.
    Quote Originally Posted by deli73 View Post
    Philosophy Joke:
    Descarte walks into a bar. The bartender says "would you like a drink?" Descarte responds "I think not!" and disappears.
    2 reposts


    Read the jokes before you post >.<
    Last edited by Nario64; 2013-04-18 at 08:52 PM.

  18. #38
    what's the difference between a hormone and an enzyme?

    you can't hear an enzyme.

  19. #39
    Legendary! Evil Inside's Avatar
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    I was once in a band called 1023MB, we hadn't had any gigs yet.
    ||i5 3570k @ 4.4GHz||H100 push/pull||AsRock Z77 Extreme4||16Gb G.Skill Ripjaws 1600MHz||HD6970/HD6950 crossfire|| Coolermaster Storm Trooper||Corsair TX850 Enthusiast Series||Samsung 840 Pro 128gb(boot drive)||3x 1tb Western Digital HDD||

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  20. #40
    The Lightbringer Belize's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alexpower3 View Post
    I Lol'd

    to the uninitiated - "10" or more accurately "00000010" is binary for 2.
    thanks for explaining, I'm sure most people who are looking at this thread have no idea what it is, even though there's been even worst machine language and programming language jokes before it :P

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