1. #1

    [Biography] Nascáile Óbroin

    **Disclaimer** This is my first ever venture into the realm of RP. I'm very unfamiliar with it so both constructive criticism and commendation are appreciated.

    Name: Nascáile Óbroin
    Age: 19
    Race: Human
    Gender: Female
    Languages: Common, Basic Eredic
    Class: Shadow Mage, Demonologist
    Faction: None
    Personality: Nascáile is highly ambitious, and highly talented. Still quite young, she strives for greater knowledge and greater power. Every day for her is spent trying to realize her enormous potential. She is very organized and highly capable. She is quite introverted, and though can be a good leader if put into the role, much prefers to operate on her own. She is acutely aware to external stimuli. She is satisfied with nothing less than perfection, in all aspects. On the inside though, she is incredibly emotional. In many ways, a loveless romantic, but with a sharp exterior.
    Likes: Reason, ambition, logic. Beauty, class, and ability, in an eclectic nature. Appreciates the potent intellect of others and the good conversation that ensues. She is attracted to and enjoys aesthetic and material beauties and pleasures as well, from music, to food and drink, and to other people.
    Dislikes: Blind devotion, rules / convention and bureaucracy, lack of drive or capability in others.
    Appearance: A slender, yet fit and athletic build. Black hair, fair to pale skin, and emerald green eyes. Though incredibly young, the nature of her gaze inspires respect alone.
    Strengths: Quite powerful, but due to her youth and inexperience has yet to realize a lot of her potential. Her biggest strengths lie in her clever wit, and incredible ambition / drive / work ethic to become better every day. Being incredibly attuned to incoming stimuli, she is reactively very sharp. She also has a habit of attracting / being attracted towards others of means, or positions of power.
    Weaknesses: Her introversion often causes her to lose out on opportunities that require her to sacrifice control over a situation. Though she feels powerful emotion, her intimidating nature, intellectually and aesthetically, is often off-putting to others, which can leave her feeling cast out at times. She also has a tendency to over-think things, which can sometimes result in indecision. She is constantly at war with herself over how to balance her innate nature, and her unrealized emotional personality component.
    History: The Night Watch Militia in Duskwood raised her collectively. Orphaned, she was dropped off in the small village by a shadowy traveller whose identity is unknown. Rumor has it her parents were potent magicians in Lordaeron before the fall, but no one knows for sure. The Night Watch named her, and her name translates literally as “Of the Shadow, a Raven,” for the dark, but innately beautiful aura she projected as a baby. Innately gifted in areas of Shadow Magic, growing up in the shadow of Karazhan seems to have enhanced and even hastened or development in it. She considers Duskwood, and its people, home and family. Having now reached a certain maturity of both personality and skill, she has moved to Stormwind, the center of Alliance, to seek out fellow warlocks and launch her development in Shadow even further.

  2. #2
    Role-player Khorianas's Avatar
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    Welcome to the RP forum!

    First of all, something minor, a blank line between the bullet points makes the bio a bit easier on the eyes.

    Then to your chacacter herself: For the biography we usually like the full story. Even things the character him/herself does not know. So if you already know any specifics about her parants and her actual heritage, please share with us.

    On the things you have so far:

    The demonic langauge, which I presume you mean by Eredic is called Eredun. No objections for a warlock speaking the very basics.

    The image you give of your character is consistent, yet the history could use a bit more details. Does she have anyone she is more attached to in the nightwatch? (in whatever way) Then the third war happened when she was about 10 years old (any strong feelings towards it?) I must admit My alliance lore is rather weak so maybe some of the other roleplayers might know of other things happening in Duskwook you character should have witnessed. Also what are her thoughts on the Shattering? Giving us more details about her feelings towards the events in warcraft history help shape the image we get from your character.

    That's about all I can come up with for now.

    And the first edit: You mention her being a demonologist. I don't think we have an avid summoner on the forum; al least I can't recall ever playing with one, So I can't really tell how we would handle it; but form a purely roleplaying stance pacting with demons is very dangerous. and usually frowned upon by the general population. That is why warlocks are usually in some shady den together with the rogues. (No offense to either class ) So I would like to hear about your character's stance towards the dangers and public perception of demonology. Also if she has a bond with a particular demon, a description of him/her would be rather nice.
    Last edited by Khorianas; 2012-10-24 at 08:11 AM.

  3. #3
    Mechagnome Mengucekli's Avatar
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    Well hello and welcome! Nice bio you got there, but as Khor stated before me, history needs some details. It is a nice character for a starter by the way.

    I believe i read up somewhere that a blizz developer told that warlock would actually be not allowed to even enter Stormwind, especially with a demon summoned by their side. They are the dark, dark guys that move at the edges of society, allways in risk of losing themselves to the demonic tempting, allways frowned upon, allways kept in check, pretty much like mages of Dragonage universe if you are familiar with it. It would take real caution and careful consideration while revealing her powers in public. I believe same goes with shadow priests but warlock are allways attract more attention because of the 'demon' stuff. A demonologist could recieve the peak of this negative reaction. That is a point.

    An ambitious person like her, striving for even greater powers, is a typical backstory for a villain-who-fell-for-temptation. So i am very curious about how your lovely young lady can resist the call of power, and keep herself in her own way. Explaining this can give us a better perspective of your character.

    Well, i guess that's all i can think of at the moment. See you in forums!

  4. #4
    Thank you for the honest and thoughtful responses. I am taking your guys' feedback and currently working on a new Bio for a different rp character, temporarily sidelining Nascaile. I will be posting the other one soon. Thanks again. This new one will be a lot more fleshed out.

  5. #5
    Quote Originally Posted by Lacadie View Post
    Thank you for the honest and thoughtful responses. I am taking your guys' feedback and currently working on a new Bio for a different rp character, temporarily sidelining Nascaile. I will be posting the other one soon. Thanks again. This new one will be a lot more fleshed out.
    I wouldn't recommend doing that. I strongly suggest refining Nascaile here until she's as good as you can have her, and then go on to other projects.

    I don't want to insinuate that you'd be like this, but a lot of people who just jump from their characters to try and make something else that might work tend to not really learn from the mistakes they make.

    Once again, I don't want to insinuate that you haven't / wouldn't learn from your mistakes, but I think that you'll find it will be better for both this character and your future works if you focus on Natscaile here, for now.

  6. #6
    Role-player Khorianas's Avatar
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    I kind of have to agree with Maddy in this case. It is best to work on a character while you still have your thoughts on the Bio freshly in mind. If you have some difficulties refining certain plotpoints or coming up with an idea consider this: Roleplaying Q&A While there are a lot of questions, answering at least a few of those might offer a new perspective on your character and maybe spark an idea or two.

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