Antisocial

[Deleted]

Hello guys, story time.

Im a 18 y/o guy, decent looking, gamer, close group and small group of friends. Problem is...im antisocial and i have no confidence whatsoever. I only talk when spoken to by people i dont know. I wouldnt even dream talking to a cute girl and start a conversation. When im with my close friends im the funny/social guy in each group but as soon as there are other people i crack down. Any advice on how to improve myself?

[Authary]

You're not antisocial. Nor asocial.

You sound more like a typical introverted + shy guy who has no understanding of basic psychology (which is fine).

You can't "improve" your introversion since it's just a personality trait but you can work on your shyness by repeated exposure to the problem. If it's too hard there's always therapy but not being able to start a conversation with a cute girl is hardly pathological.

[Illunis]

Practice makes perfect, OP.

Go out and put yourself in situations you aren't used to. Try new things, meet new people. You say you're social and fun with your tight group of friends, because you're used to their company, and you know how to act/react/behave around them. Meeting new people and building new experiences will vastly help your shyness.

Also, the only reason you can't start a conversation with a cute girl, is because that's what you see her as. A cute girl. Instead, look at her as just another person. Think of something to say, before you engage in conversation.

The confidence will come with time, you just have to keep trying at it.

(also get yourself a wingman)

Good luck out there.

[Deleted]

Hello guys, story time.

Im a 18 y/o guy, decent looking, gamer, close group and small group of friends. Problem is...im antisocial and i have no confidence whatsoever. I only talk when spoken to by people i dont know. I wouldnt even dream talking to a cute girl and start a conversation. When im with my close friends im the funny/social guy in each group but as soon as there are other people i crack down. Any advice on how to improve myself?

Other than psychiatric help, no, there aren't any home made cures for introvercy. Advices like "be more <insert crap>" never actually work.

[LilSaihah]

Being introverted is not a bad thing. Don't let anyone convince you that it is. It's a character trait that has its strengths and weaknesses, and you need to adapt your game accordingly- but don't take it to mean that you have no game.

Being shy, in that you fear new (social, in this case) situations, is a bad thing.

[ati87]

Drink alcohol, just make sure you don't do anything stupid

[Deleted]

Drink alcohol, just make sure you don't do anything stupid

...yeah. OP, this is the part where someone tells you not to take advices from the internet seriously.

[poser765]

Other than psychiatric help, no, there aren't any home made cures for introvercy. Advices like "be more <insert crap>" never actually work.

While it's try you may never cure yourself of being an introvert you can certainly go out and gain some social skills. I am an introvert, but find I can appear to be extroverted when i need to be or am expected to be.

As someone above me said, practice does make perfect. Just talk to people. Random people. Doesn't have to be full on deep conversations about the existential aspects of reality. When I was in high school i decided i need to stop being so shy. So I went shopping, lol. I would go to a grocery store and as i shopped I would talk to people. Simple stuff. Good morning. How are you? Can you show me where the canned peas are? Small talk stuff. Be cheery, and upbeat. That helped me a lot. I feel like I can approach most people and start at least a superficial conversation with anyone.

---------- Post added 2012-10-27 at 04:27 PM ----------

...yeah. OP, this is the part where someone tells you not to take advices from the internet seriously.

Actually some alcohol is good. It does tend to lower inhibitions and it's largely inhibitions that are preventing to OP from socializing. Hell, i've noticed I get a lot more chatty when drinking a little, even when not drunk, just because I know intellectually that i SHOULD be getting chatting while drinking.

[WNYIRISHGUY]

Hello guys, story time.

Im a 18 y/o guy, decent looking, gamer, close group and small group of friends. Problem is...im antisocial and i have no confidence whatsoever. I only talk when spoken to by people i dont know. I wouldnt even dream talking to a cute girl and start a conversation. When im with my close friends im the funny/social guy in each group but as soon as there are other people i crack down. Any advice on how to improve myself?

Dude

I'm too anti-social but that is one of my many problem *mentally,physically,emotionally* and is hard because i did get hurt on the jobs but my childhood was a nightmare because i have an @ss#### of a father who is pure evil and made my life a living hell and is there because he spread lies about me and the rest of the family to anyone that listen to him and that he destroyed me !

Today i am still in counseling because i was recently diagnoses with anti-social behavior w/trauma and anxiety and borderlines PTSD and that i hate going in public and have to be judge by people plus i have limited conversation with people * if i need help * while in a store

So i know what your going threw

[Pendulous]

Any advice on how to improve myself?

If you want to change, change, but don't think of it as having something wrong with yourself.