Parents want me to cut my hair...

[Deleted]

19 years old, always loved it when my hair grew a lot and my parents always wanted it cut short, I complied.

But I don't want to comply anymore, isn't it my own hair?


Also I must inform you, if you are one of those people who say: OMG SPOILED CHILD SPOILED ROTTEN KID LISTEN TO THEM YOU SHOULD BE BEATEN
then your post automatically is not considered non-existent to me. Be constructive, but not a rager.

I have always complied about cutting my hair, and I don't want it short at all, but my parents are taking it to new heights.

Even when I ask for a couple of euro's now. (which is once in a blue moon mind you) and I really mean a little amount of money, my father goes: Only if you cut your hair.


Eh....

I don't know what to say to him, I have tried talking to him calmly and explaining, now when he mentions it. (which is every day always) I just ignore him because talking to him does not work.


I am not talking pony tail hair or waist lenght, I am talking roughly this:

http://medium-long-hair-for-men.styl...ir-for-men.jpg


On top of that, my dad makes comments like: What if people see you and your hair? What must they think about the parents?

I must also note that my parents ARE stuck in their old ways. Not in just this hair thing by a long shot.


I DO have my own income and do not pester them with bills like school money and healthcare, I take all of that myself, and I buy things for myself if I want something.


Oh and for the people who think they have a legit argument: I refused money when he said that was the requirement and I walked away. That's it. It was nothing more than an example about how serious he is about it.


And I do not hate my parents. My dad is too nice, as is my mom.

[Silhouette of Seraphim]

You're 19. Make your own way and do what you want.

[Deleted]

You're 19. Make your own way and do what you want.

Told him that too, I get a standard reply: haha, do you think 19 means anything?

[Deleted]

Why not get a job, move out and live your own life?

[Deleted]

Why not get a job, move out and live your own life?

Even if I got a job, would not be able to make enough money, I am studying currently.

[jbhasban]

19 years old, always loved it when my hair grew a lot and my parents always wanted it cut short, I complied.

But I don't want to comply anymore, isn't it my own hair?


Also I must inform you, if you are one of those people who say: OMG SPOILED CHILD SPOILED ROTTEN KID LISTEN TO THEM YOU SHOULD BE BEATEN
then your post automatically is not considered non-existent to me. Be constructive, but not a rager.

I have always complied about cutting my hair, and I don't want it short at all, but my parents are taking it to new heights.

Even when I ask for a couple of euro's now. (which is once in a blue moon mind you) and I really mean a little amount of money, my father goes: Only if you cut your hair.

Really? Blackmailing your own child because he didn't cut his hair and has his hair the way he wants it?


Eh....

I don't know what to say to him, I have tried talking to him calmly and explaining, now when he mentions it. (which is every day always) I just ignore him because talking to him does not work.

Given that you live in their house and are asking for their money, they can put ANY conditions on their gifts. If you want to keep your hair long, move out and get a job. Just because you are a legal adult does not mean you can live how you want to. I have to dress in suits for my job. I cant go to work in jeans and expect to keep my job.

[Deleted]

well if u dont want him to tell you to cut ur hair dont ask for money, ur 19 you should have ur own way to make money..

also hairwise, u can do anything u want, ask them why they think you should cut and if its something stupid like looking like punks/robbers/theifs then they are just too set in old ways(dont know how to put it)

[Waimzer]

Get a job then you don't need to ask him for money :P No need for your parents to be black mailing you

[Ringthane]

Told him that too, I get a standard reply: haha, do you think 19 means anything?

Well... Yes.

You are an adult, you know. Stop mooching off your parents and live like one already.

[Deleted]

Even if I got a job, would not be able to make enough money, I am studying currently.

Then do what they ask and live through those couple of years with short hair.

[jbhasban]

well if u dont want him to tell you to cut ur hair dont ask for money, ur 19 you should have ur own way to make money..

also hairwise, u can do anything u want, ask them why they think you should cut and if its something stupid like looking like punks/robbers/theifs then they are just too set in old ways(dont know how to put it)

Nonsense. Even if he made his own money, he would still be using their money for housing, food, water, etc. Until he is completely independent they can put any restrictions on him that they wants.

[Deleted]

My parents always wanted my hair short as well. Eventually stood my ground and now they actually like it longer, both them and everyone else says it suits me much more.

[Deleted]

well if u dont want him to tell you to cut ur hair dont ask for money, ur 19 you should have ur own way to make money..

also hairwise, u can do anything u want, ask them why they think you should cut and if its something stupid like looking like punks/robbers/theifs then they are just too set in old ways(dont know how to put it)

Yes, I did tell them this exactly, but no, no acknowledgement whatsoever about being stuck in their ways.

[jbhasban]

Well... Yes.

You are an adult, you know. Stop mooching off your parents and live like one already.

Most people in their 20s in the USA that I know live with their parents. 19 is too young to be independent these days. I am 28 and have a job but still am dependent on my parents due to student debt and the poor pay of entry level positions.

[Deleted]

You're 19. You do not have to cut your hair. But be aware, parents will try to influence you, for now, and probably for the rest of your life. My mother still tries to tell me what to do and I'm in my 30s - doesn't mean I have to do it, but I listen to her respectfully (and then usually ignore her). So listen to them respectfully, tell them you don't intend to cut it at the moment but thank them for their input and make it clear you've listened to what they had to say and their reasons. They are probably struggling to come to terms with the fact that you're an adult now, you're grown up and they can't force you to do things....

On the other hand, I assume you live with them, and you're asking them for money. You can't have it both ways and say "I want to be an adult and do my own thing but please give me money now I need you to pay my way". You may have to accept if you want them to start viewing you, and treating you as your own independent adult that you need to stop asking for hand outs and prove that you are grown up now and able to make your own decisions.

[Deleted]

Well... Yes.

You are an adult, you know. Stop mooching off your parents and live like one already.

A couple of euro's per month is mooching? Wow....

I am paying all my own bills currently, but somehow I am still mooching? -.-

[Raidboss]

I understand being 19 years old and the need to be recognized as an adult. What's holding you back is that you currently live at home. In my opinion if you live in someones (parents, friends, relative) house and don't contribute to the bills you have to follow their rules. If you were living there and paying rent and contributing to the house I would lean more to your side, but seeing that you go to school and don't help pay the bills you should abide by their rules.

[Prinny]

I feel bad for you. Long hair is the best, dood! My vote is to fight tooth and nail to keep it.

[Knight Gil]

You're 19. Make your own way and do what you want.

I get a standard reply: haha, do you think 19 means anything?

Yes, it pretty much does.

They're afraid that the time is coming that their baby boy is becoming an independent adult. You don't need to listen to them. Keep fighting and be stubborn. Eventually, they'll give up and accept it. You just have to be more stubborn than them.

you should abide by their rules.

There's an easy way around this argument. Emotional blackmail. Things like "if you loved me, you'd understand" and getting angry might work, if being calm and explaining don't.

Machiavelic, I know

[holyfist]

Ask your parents to give you really good reason why should you cut your hair. If oyu have mess of porely done dreadlocks or something then i understand they want it too look different but if it is normal long hair then only you have to do it make your parents understand that it is quite normal thing and that your view of aesthetics can be different than theirs, also try digging their old teenage photos.
Lastly do you really bealive in 'I will give you something if you cut your hair'? It's farie tales, by not giving you money they probably want you to learn earning a bit for your own which is absolutely fair as long as you live under their roof. Getting part time job would cover all those little expenses and make you feel much better about yourself.