1. #1
    High Overlord Nekrotix's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Where them bitches ain't.
    Posts
    132

    Post Leader Eliminaire Darkbourne (BIO)

    Name: Eliminaire Darkbourne
    Age: 19 (Dying Age)
    Race: Forsaken
    Gender: Male
    Class: Shadow Fighter (Warlock/Rogue combo)

    Languages: Undead, Common, Orcish.

    Faction: The Dark Rose

    Personality: Chaotic. His Ideas are insane, but will work almost always. If you want to make sense of his wording, just remember, to think like a lunatic, you must act like a lunatic. Most of the Undead working for the Dark Rose are already part-lunatic, so they got it covered. Back to Eliminaire. He sometimes prefers to be called "Ellie", but only call him that when he seems like he's in a good mood, or doesn't have a hungering for brains. Did I mention he's insane? Yeah. Continuing on, he mostly uses very clever and well-planned attacks. Though, when he says them, they don't sound very good, but they are. Well... agian, MOST of them are. He could want you to put poison in someones drink, and he says, "You! Yes, you! Put that green stuff in someones drink! I don't know what the hell it is, and I don't know who the hell to give it to, just DO IT!" Somehow, the members know exactly what he's talking about. Next thing you know, an Alliance soldier is choking to death on a poisoned steak. Don't ask ME how they know.

    Likes/Dislikes: What he likes and dislikes is unknown. He seems to be on and off all the time about, well, EVERYTHING. He never eats, unless it's living flesh. It could be Orc, Human, Draenei, Gnome, or even Undead meat, but he'll still eat it. He's a strange undead, I can tell you that. Sometimes he'll be angry at someone for no reason, but the next day will act like it never happened, not even bringing it up. It would be easier to tell you he's insane, but that's just the beginning of it.

    Appearance: He wears a black leather jacket over a white tee, his pants torn halfway, making them look like shorts. He has a weapon-holder he made himself to keep his weapons on him at all times. Three sockets, two for his double blades, and the other for his Plaguespreader, a gun he usues for multitargeting Plagueing. It can also be used to remove plagues. He wears an Eyepatch over his left eye, he does that because he says his left eye looks revolting, and nobody wants to see that. All full of puss, cut, bloodshot, and, worst of all, uncalibrated, so it's constantly looking down, and if he took the eyepatch out, the Eyeball would sort of hang out, like it wanted to fall out, but instead it would just show unfunctioning viens. He can't take it out, or else it would cut off all power in his brain. This is actually correct. When he was reanimated, they had to use the disgusting eye as a vein-control center. Without that eye, he is dead. he also wears a black, embroided mask, that covers up his mouth only. His hair, or at least what's left of it, is nothing more then just a few strands of charred string. Flat.

    Strengths/Weaknesses: He is a master at the blade, and could slice you 8 different ways before you hit the ground. With his double blades, both equal in size and power, he can last long periods of time without his blades rusting or getting dull. He can also use the power of darkness to empower his blades, and cast powerful spells. Some could question this fighting tactic, but it works. To the average beginner, he is not a force to be reckoned with. He only uses his Plaguespreader in emergencies. When he uses it, he shoots it at the target, then, once the target is dead, extracts the Plague from it. It preserves most of the unused plague, thus recycling. So, he's not that bad of a guy! Kind of. His one weakness is his Eyepatch. As mentioned before, it is his source of life. Remove the eye, and you remove all activity in the brain, thus killing him. That is, unfortunatly, the easiest way.

    History:
    Eliminaire Chaszbourne, now known as Eliminaire Darkbourne, had parents that were both valiant defenders of the Alliance. At first, Eliminaire looked up to his parents as heroes. He practiced as a warrior for days and days, hoping to become the very best, just like his parents. He was very young at this age, only 5. He trained so hard, his parents thought he was going to be a great Warrior. But, one day, he brought home a book called, "Warlock 101: Your Guide to the Darkness." His father questioned this, and Eliminaire answered, "Being a Warrior sounds fun, but it's just not... me. I've decided to help in my own way." But his father ripped the book from Eliminaires hands, and threw it in the fire. "We will NOT accept that type of behaviour, son. I'm sorry, but Warlocks are just too dangerous for someone at your age. You kids are so easily corrupted." Eliminaires father then stomped upstairs, as did Eliminaire. Eliminaire, while in bed, heard dark voices, calling in his head. "Eliminaire..." They whispered softly. "H-hello?" Eliminaire asked, eyes open wide. The voice called for him again. It was coming from downstairs. He tiptoed down the creaky steps, and there were two shiny blades. "Kill... Them... And my power... shall be yours..." the voice explained, still being somewhat silent. Eliminaire, not realizing what he was doing, took the two blades, and, in a trance, marched to his parents room. They were still fast asleep. "...No! I cannot do this..." Eliminaire attempted to stop himself. "But... ultimate power..." Eliminaire was conflicted. But, eyes closed, dashed up to his parents. . .

    They died. Eliminaire had done it. He felt darkness flow through his veins, as well as the burden of guilt. What used to be his parents were now a bleeding mess on the floor, nothing more then assorted body parts. Now, Eliminaire was scarred by his own deed. He couldn't handle it. But, something in his mind... something dark and sinister... was plotting.

    It'd been 2 days since Eliminaire had murdered his parents. Nobody seemed to notice. When anybody asked Eliminaire about his parents, he would just run away. Eliminaire did get the power the Dark Being was talking about. He kept the two blades as reminders. They were still bloody. They also had crude shadow markings on them. Eliminaire, after school, did nothing but stare at the blades. No emotion. But inside, he was crying. He never got any sleep, and it showed. His eyes were constantly open. Usually never blinking. Eventually, someone did check out Eliminaires house. It was a Gaurd, the Gaurd Captain to be exact. He questioned Eliminaire the minute he found the corpses. "When did this happen? Why did you not tell us?" The Gaurd Captain asked again and again. But Eliminaire could only stare. With no answers readily availible, other then the ones that would get him killed. The Gaurd Captain sighed, and sent him to the orphanage, knowing it must be hard to cope with the death of both your parents.
    Eliminaire was never adopted. Ever. Nobody wanted to. He was just... creepy. He was just sitting in the corner... sometimes smiling. A wide, sparkling, wicked smile that only psychopaths make when they're trapped in the insane asylum. His facial expression showed it looked like he was saying, "I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine..." again and again. When he grew to the age of 18, he was let go. Let out to see the world. What he did was go to his old house. He sat in his bed, with the blades that killed his parents. 14 years of insanity, building up in one person. 14 years of guilt. 14 years of the thought of being responsible for cold-blooded death...

    He snapped. He went on a killing spree. Killing 12 people. With the abuse of Shadow Spells and his cunning ability of the blade, he was a killer. He was now a wanted criminal. Eliminaire, now having all that madness calmed, had to find a place to hide. He knew the perfect place. His old house.
    His old house was now a run-down old shack, with no real value. He took down the boards covering up the windows, and rebuilt them as to not draw attention. He had to live in the darkness, but he grew accustom to it after a while. His clothing had become withered and beaten. Barely holding up. His blades, amazingly enough, were still unrusted. It seemed as if they were never used, discounting the blood. Eliminaire contemplated his actions. Did he do good? Was he the good guy? Or the villain? He realized it then... he WAS the bad guy. What good guy kills his parents and 12 other people? But... he didn't mind. He was fine with his Criminal Status was great. A Wanted Poster floated in through a window. The reward, dead or alive, was 12,000 gold. Not bad for a criminal. So, what he did was let everyone know where he was. He broke down the Boards blocking the door, allowing all to know he was there. "BRING IT ON, YOU DAMNED FOOLS! I SHALL NEVER DIE!" Eliminaire laughed insanely. He was now 100% legit mad. He rushed to the back of the house, awaiting the onslaught. Lucky for him, the first wave was greedy villagers. They died swiftly, at the hands of his Dark Blades. The next wave was Alliance Soldiers, who took some beating, but they fell, all while Eliminaire was cackling. They did not die, but got badly injured. "Who... who is he? How is he not falling? This shouldn't be happening!!!" An Alliance Captain roared. The Captain charged in, but stopped when he realized the figure in front of him... was just shadows. "What the..." The Captain seemed confused. "Looking for someone?" Eliminaire chuckled. The Captain looks behind him, and sees Eliminaire, in front of all the injured Alliance Soldiers. The Captain roars again, and charges at Eliminaire, who proceeds to vanish, and teleport behind the Captain again. "How is this possible??" The Captain was confused. "Once these blades taste blood, they become more powerful. They are tainted with Darkness... and it is now a part of me..." Eliminaire then charged for the Captain in a dark swiftness, and used dark magic to evade most of the captains attacks. "Rrgg..." The Captain struggled, but managed to get a clean shot in the stomache. Eliminaire's shadows seemed to disappear, and fell to the ground, smiling. "Finally..." Eliminaire coughed. "...A worthy challenger..."

    "Are you sure this is the right guy?" "Yes. Who else could it be?" "Alright..." A bright flash awoke Eliminaire from his sleep. "Nnggh..." Eliminaire moaned. "Did it work? IT WORKED!" A broken voice cheered. "Who said that?" Eliminaire moaned again. Eliminaire was killed during that fateful event in Stormwind. The Undead who died by the hand of Eliminaire now looked up to him as a hero, for he was one of the strongest fighters they knew, and they wanted him to not only be a part of the new group they formed, they wanted him to lead it. "Of course. Why would I let my faithful students down?" Eliminaire cackles. "Uhm... Students?" An Undead questions. "Well, who else am I going to teach my tricks to?"
    To this day, the Black Rose, the group that Eliminaire created, is a secondary Horde group. It is for those who want to break from the Horde rules, but not break from the Horde entirely. They do stealth missions, aid the Horde in their own ways, but don't attract much attention, as to not go at war or anger them. Eliminaire continues to train Undead that of the Shadow Rogue, a fighter who Dual-Weilds two blades, and uses the shadow as their source of power. Nobody knows what dark spirit resides within Eliminaire's Dark Blades, and we may never know, but whatever it is, it is powerful, powerful enough to become a considerable threat to any who oppose it.

    OOC Notes:
    - Yes, yes. It MAY seem a TAD BIT Overpowered, but I never said he was super-duper strong. Like a Horde Gladiator, he is powerful, but not invincible.

  2. #2
    Role-player Khorianas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    The Hall of Blood
    Posts
    1,161
    Welcome to the Rp Forums,

    Your Character being overpowered in any way would not even be the main issue to me, but your history has some questionable events and lacks grounding in the Warcraft lore. I'll just write down the things I found strange, since i can't think of a proper way to sort them.

    A 5 year old training as a warrior is way too early even for Warcraft standards.

    When the guard discoveres your characters parents bodies, why does he not search the place and find the blades? Granted he may think a 5 year old is innocent, but if 2 humans get murdered so gruesomely in the middle of Stormwind(?), I would think that some kind of magical investigation would also be made. Explain in more detail how your character gets out of that mess.

    Also after he died, why did no one look at the blades, or confiscate them in any way? If they did, how did he regain his arms?

    How do the forsaken know they should raise him? Also how would they get the body of someone who died in Stormwind? Stormwind is far off forsaken teritory. The working of his eye as a "vein control center" is also rather iffy. While Forsaken phisiology is strange, if there is a possibility at all to revive him There would surely have been a way to give him less of a weak spot. That's my personal opinion though.

    Also you did not reference any timeline events. It would be nice if we were able to place the events sometime in Warcraft History.

    The powers and origins of your blades are completely unexplainable by warcraft lore. Some blades turn up and make a master armsman and some kind of warlock out of a child just by making him murder his parents. This comes totally out of nowhere, and is the major weakness of your character. He just becomes the way he is through this blades. This makes the character seem rather shallow.

    Bottom Line is: His powers come out of nowhere, as does his personality. So I'm not really buying the character, sorry.
    Last edited by Khorianas; 2012-11-08 at 10:38 AM.

  3. #3
    High Overlord Nekrotix's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Where them bitches ain't.
    Posts
    132
    I had a feeling this was going to be the case.
    Alright, alright. I'll see what I can do to make him seem more... believeable. I shall find out a way to fix him right after I get another character I just want to through out there. Do NOT worry, though, I shall get started fixing him as soon as possible. Starting with the History.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •