Men and Women Can't Be "Just Friends"

[Deleted]

No... it's not love at all...

It's just, if I think a chick is cool enough that I want to be around them, I will also want to have sex with them. There are more emotions in the world than love.

you are confusing "being cool" with "being attractive"

[Laize]

Everybody's answer changes in an unrealistic hypothetical scenario that would never happen. That doesn't mean that their original answer isn't valid.

I simply don't understand how sexual attraction, at least for a man, can possibly equate to "Yeah I think she's hot enough for me to bone... but I wouldn't sleep with her".

The two statements seem mutually exclusive.

[Spectral]

Are you saying there's a woman you're sexually attracted to who, even if given the opportunity and no negative repercussions, you wouldn't have sex with?

This isn't a circumstance that occurs in the real world. There's often repercussions, and they're often sufficient to say, "no, I'll pass". Read the statement back that I replied to, it doesn't have this added caveat in it.

[Laize]

you are confusing "being cool" with "being attractive"

If someone is cool, they're automatically more attractive. Whether this makes them attractive enough to have sex with is another story (But they'd have to be fairly well busted for that to be the case).

[Spectral]

It's just, if I think a chick is cool enough that I want to be around them, I will also want to have sex with them.

This is just really, really weird to me. I have no basis for judging it negatively, but please know that not everyone feels this way, and that insisting that everyone must is incorrect.

[Laize]

This is just really, really weird to me. I have no basis for judging it negatively, but please know that not everyone feels this way, and that insisting that everyone must is incorrect.

I never once insisted everyone did.

[Spectral]

I simply don't understand how sexual attraction, at least for a man, can possibly equate to "Yeah I think she's hot enough for me to bone... but I wouldn't sleep with her".

The two statements seem mutually exclusive.

They're not. Really, I promise.

[Osyrus]

Yes.

My current partner happens to be my best friend.

I have one other close male friend and several other degrees of male friends, I make my boundaries clear and i have never slept with any of them. (only one i smudged the boundary line for was current love)

[Spectral]

I never once insisted everyone did.

I'm fairly sure you did.

I don't think it's possible for a guy to be sexually attracted to a woman and then say he wouldn't have sex with her if he were being totally honest.

[Wells]

This whole thread smells of unhealthy attitudes towards sex.

[hellosaltygoodness]

No... it's not love at all...

It's just, if I think a chick is cool enough that I want to be around them, I will also want to have sex with them. There are more emotions in the world than love.

but if they are cool enough to want to hang around with them, and you don't love them, then why would you dump them once you find out that they won't have sex with you? i can totally understand being disappointed that they don't want to have sex, but to decide they aren't even worth friendship by itself? it seems very over the top to me. that's why i asked if you fall in love with them, because then it would make sense that you just don't want to get hurt. but as it stands it seems more like you just don't want to be friends with women who won't do you.

[Anakso]

I think a male and female can't be friends if one is attracted to the other, and they're both straight, but otherwise yes. Men and women can be friends. My closest female friend is a lesbian, she's attractive but obviously no misguided thoughts about her being attracted to me will ever happen. Then I have other female friends that I just don't find attractive. I mean, they're not ugly or hard to look at but just not for me.

[Laize]

I'm fairly sure you did.

Yeah, because the idea that you wouldn't have sex with someone you were sexually attracted to if the opportunity arose is anathema to me.

I suppose for many people, sex comes with emotions attached. For me it seems to be the opposite.

[v2prwsmb45yhuq3wj23vpjk]

I simply don't understand how sexual attraction, at least for a man, can possibly equate to "Yeah I think she's hot enough for me to bone... but I wouldn't sleep with her".

The two statements seem mutually exclusive.

I guess you obviously never consider the negative consequences. Imagine the most attractive real woman you know of. Imagine that you have the chance to have sex with them. Now imagine you knowing that they have herpes, which is transmissible even with a condom. Do you have sex with them? Personally, I wouldn't. They would still be extremely attractive, and I might still fantasize, but I am actually able to think about the consequences of my actions enough to be able to prevent myself from doing it.

Yeah, because the idea that you wouldn't have sex with someone you were sexually attracted to if the opportunity arose is anathema to me.

I suppose for many people, sex comes with emotions attached. For me it seems to be the opposite.

Sex isn't something I can separate from emotions. When it comes to women, if emotions aren't there, I don't want sex. If emotions are there, I will.

wat

[Spectral]

Yeah, because the idea that you wouldn't have sex with someone you were sexually attracted to if the opportunity arose is anathema to me.

That's why I told you to stop insisting everyone feels that way.

I suppose for many people, sex comes with emotions attached. For me it seems to be the opposite.

No. Just fucking no. Not even close. I don't know any way to put it that doesn't sound braggy, but I've had a fair bit more casual, irrelevant sex than most people. That doesn't mean I'll sleep with female friends if I think it's damaging to a meaningful friendship. There's two people involved; I'm capable of having sex be no big deal, but that's not the case for every female partner. If you consider both ends of a coupling you might come to different conclusions.

[Keske]

I simply don't understand how sexual attraction, at least for a man, can possibly equate to "Yeah I think she's hot enough for me to bone... but I wouldn't sleep with her".

The two statements seem mutually exclusive.

So essentially if you had a hot mother or sister you can't fathom why people are not incesting left right and center? I have beautiful friends, that would be more than "Bangable", but thinking of having sex with them is equally impossible to thinking about sex with my sister.

[Laize]

but if they are cool enough to want to hang around with them, and you don't love them, then why would you dump them once you find out that they won't have sex with you? i can totally understand being disappointed that they don't want to have sex, but to decide they aren't even worth friendship by itself? it seems very over the top to me. that's why i asked if you fall in love with them, because then it would make sense that you just don't want to get hurt. but as it stands it seems more like you just don't want to be friends with women who won't do you.

Not sure, to be honest. Feelings have a way of being very difficult to communicate.

No one likes rejection of any kind. Sex is a natural need for everyone and (hopefully) mutually enjoyable for all involved. Not everyone requires feeling love to have sex.

I just see absolutely nothing wrong with how I do things.

[v2prwsmb45yhuq3wj23vpjk]

So essentially if you had a hot mother or sister you can't fathom why people are not incesting left right and center? I have beautiful friends, that would be more than "Bangable", but thinking of having sex with them is equally impossible to thinking about sex with my sister.

Question, did you grow up with these friends?

[hellosaltygoodness]

I suppose for many people, sex comes with emotions attached. For me it seems to be the opposite.

but above you said you want to sleep with all your female friends BECAUSE you can't separate the emotions from the sex.

[Laize]

So essentially if you had a hot mother or sister you can't fathom why people are not incesting left right and center? I have beautiful friends, that would be more than "Bangable", but thinking of having sex with them is equally impossible to thinking about sex with my sister.

I didn't say that or anything even resembling that.