View Poll Results: Can Men and Women be "Just Friends"?

Voters
869. You may not vote on this poll
  • Yes

    575 66.17%
  • No

    243 27.96%
  • I don't know

    51 5.87%
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  1. #361
    Quote Originally Posted by hellosaltygoodness View Post
    but if they are cool enough to want to hang around with them, and you don't love them, then why would you dump them once you find out that they won't have sex with you? i can totally understand being disappointed that they don't want to have sex, but to decide they aren't even worth friendship by itself? it seems very over the top to me. that's why i asked if you fall in love with them, because then it would make sense that you just don't want to get hurt. but as it stands it seems more like you just don't want to be friends with women who won't do you.
    Not sure, to be honest. Feelings have a way of being very difficult to communicate.

    No one likes rejection of any kind. Sex is a natural need for everyone and (hopefully) mutually enjoyable for all involved. Not everyone requires feeling love to have sex.

    I just see absolutely nothing wrong with how I do things.

  2. #362
    Quote Originally Posted by Keske View Post
    So essentially if you had a hot mother or sister you can't fathom why people are not incesting left right and center? I have beautiful friends, that would be more than "Bangable", but thinking of having sex with them is equally impossible to thinking about sex with my sister.
    Question, did you grow up with these friends?

    Bergtau's Law: As an online discussion grows longer, the probability that somebody will mention Godwin's Law approaches 1.
    Hitler wasn't all bad, I mean, he DID kill Hitler.
    An accident is something that you did not mean to do at all. A mistake is something that you regret doing.

  3. #363
    Quote Originally Posted by Laize View Post
    I suppose for many people, sex comes with emotions attached. For me it seems to be the opposite.
    but above you said you want to sleep with all your female friends BECAUSE you can't separate the emotions from the sex.
    "Just because you read it on the internet, doesn't mean the person actually said it." - Thomas Jefferson

  4. #364
    Quote Originally Posted by Keske View Post
    So essentially if you had a hot mother or sister you can't fathom why people are not incesting left right and center? I have beautiful friends, that would be more than "Bangable", but thinking of having sex with them is equally impossible to thinking about sex with my sister.
    I didn't say that or anything even resembling that.

  5. #365
    Quote Originally Posted by Bergtau View Post
    Question, did you grow up with these friends?
    it depends on when growing up started, I think I met the last of them at around 16-17, some of them as early as a newborn.

  6. #366
    Quote Originally Posted by Spectral View Post
    No. Just fucking no. Not even close. I don't know any way to put it that doesn't sound braggy, but I've had a fair bit more casual, irrelevant sex than most people. That doesn't mean I'll sleep with female friends if I think it's damaging to a meaningful friendship. There's two people involved; I'm capable of having sex be no big deal, but that's not the case for every female partner. If you consider both ends of a coupling you might come to different conclusions.
    Alright, so you can separate sex and emotion. Does that make your opinion more valid than mine?

  7. #367
    Here's how I see it-- guy and girl are friends. Girl sees little to no romantic potential in guy, because if she did they'd be more than just friends. Guy does see romantic potential in girl because they are friends, and if she makes a good friend then why wouldn't she make a good girlfriend?

    Big surprise, I know, but men and women have different perspectives on romance and sex. It seems that women tend to draw more distinctions between what is friend-material and date-material, and men tend to be more dynamic and laid-back as to what they consider a potential paramour. Neither is right and neither is wrong, but it's worth acknowledging that these differences exist and it causes some interesting social interactions.
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  8. #368
    Quote Originally Posted by Laize View Post
    Alright, so you can separate sex and emotion. Does that make your opinion more valid than mine?
    If your opinion hinges on everybody thinking the same way as you and many people lying, your opinion is probably invalid.

    Bergtau's Law: As an online discussion grows longer, the probability that somebody will mention Godwin's Law approaches 1.
    Hitler wasn't all bad, I mean, he DID kill Hitler.
    An accident is something that you did not mean to do at all. A mistake is something that you regret doing.

  9. #369
    Quote Originally Posted by Torethyr View Post
    Here's how I see it-- guy and girl are friends. Girl sees little to no romantic potential in guy, because if she did they'd be more than just friends. Guy does see romantic potential in girl because they are friends, and if she makes a good friend then why wouldn't she make a good girlfriend?

    Big surprise, I know, but men and women have different perspectives on romance and sex. Neither is right and neither is wrong, but it's worth acknowledging that these differences exist and it causes some interesting social interactions.
    The Pro-"men and women can be friends" camp seems to be of the opinion that men and women could be friends if everyone "stopped being immature".

  10. #370
    Quote Originally Posted by Laize View Post
    Alright, so you can separate sex and emotion. Does that make your opinion more valid than mine?
    I'm confused, didn't you say that you can separate the two?

    I don't think anyone's personal tastes are more valid. All I'm driving at is that you shouldn't be applying those personal tastes to everyone else and saying that they must be the case for everyone. I'm sure some people are incapable of having female friends. I'm equally sure that other people are better at it than I am.

  11. #371
    Quote Originally Posted by EqualWin View Post
    I wouldn't mind having sex with her but isn't something like I want to do, really..
    You just owned yourself right there mate lol

    So much for beeing a badass i wonder what your gf would say after seeing you write that

    try to be honest instead of trying to act all cool, in the end the truth comes out and right here you
    pulled it out there. faillllll

  12. #372
    So aslong as we didn't grow together then it would be fine. So if you found out had a sister as an adult, the chances of you finding her sexually atractive is very high, yet I bet you wouldn't bang that.

  13. #373
    Quote Originally Posted by Bergtau View Post
    If your opinion hinges on everybody thinking the same way as you and many people lying, your opinion is probably invalid.
    First off, I never claimed everyone felt the same way as me.

    I've posted research in this thread explaining how most men are just as emotional as women (but don't show it) and the research paper in the OP is from a peer reviewed journal. It might not be an exhaustive study but it sure as hell means more research should be done.

    What if it came back as a 5000 person study with the same results? Would you continue to say it (and people like me who think it accurately represents the overall population) was full of shit?

    ---------- Post added 2012-11-14 at 04:03 AM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by Keske View Post
    So aslong as we didn't grow together then it would be fine. So if you found out had a sister as an adult, the chances of you finding her sexually atractive is very high, yet I bet you wouldn't bang that.
    Chances are good that if you're not aware she's related to her, you'd find her much more attractive than otherwise. We tend to find familiarity attractive... and what's more familiar than blood?

    Obviously if you KNEW you were related you couldn't do anything, but it would make family reunions pretty fucking awkward.

    ---------- Post added 2012-11-14 at 04:04 AM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by Spectral View Post
    I'm confused, didn't you say that you can separate the two?
    No I said I CAN'T. I did say that emotion doesn't necessarily have to be love though.

    I don't think anyone's personal tastes are more valid. All I'm driving at is that you shouldn't be applying those personal tastes to everyone else and saying that they must be the case for everyone. I'm sure some people are incapable of having female friends. I'm equally sure that other people are better at it than I am.
    I'm not suggesting that I speak for all men

  14. #374
    Quote Originally Posted by Laize View Post
    First off, I never claimed everyone felt the same way as me.
    "In fact I don't think it's possible for a guy to be sexually attracted to a woman and then say he wouldn't have sex with her if he were being totally honest."

    I've posted research in this thread explaining how most men are just as emotional as women (but don't show it) and the research paper in the OP is from a peer reviewed journal. It might not be an exhaustive study but it sure as hell means more research should be done.

    What if it came back as a 5000 person study with the same results? Would you continue to say it (and people like me who think it accurately represents the overall population) was full of shit?
    I never said that the study was full of shit, I merely responded to your hypotheticals and your blanket claims.

    Bergtau's Law: As an online discussion grows longer, the probability that somebody will mention Godwin's Law approaches 1.
    Hitler wasn't all bad, I mean, he DID kill Hitler.
    An accident is something that you did not mean to do at all. A mistake is something that you regret doing.

  15. #375
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    Quote Originally Posted by Laize View Post
    Alright, so you can separate sex and emotion. Does that make your opinion more valid than mine?
    In this case, yes actually. Assuming I just use your current statement to imply that you can't separate sex and emotion, considering the topic at hand, your opinion does become alittle invalid. You would only be able to answer it from the viewpoint of sex with all attractive female friends, and not be able to "understand" how others can possibly go without doing it assuming the girl was willing.

    I'm also not saying that I wouldn't want to. The desire doesn't go away simply because of the potential problem caused by it. But that potential problem also is the reason I will not let it become anything more than a random desire. So I might want to, but whether I actually do is something else.

  16. #376
    Quote Originally Posted by Torethyr View Post
    Here's how I see it-- guy and girl are friends. Girl sees little to no romantic potential in guy, because if she did they'd be more than just friends. Guy does see romantic potential in girl because they are friends, and if she makes a good friend then why wouldn't she make a good girlfriend?
    there is a lot of truth to that, if a guy and a girl are friends, the girl has usually already decided that she isn't into the guy romantically. however there ARE still a million girls out there stuck in friendships with guys they pine for and wish like crazy he would notice that she feels more for him.
    "Just because you read it on the internet, doesn't mean the person actually said it." - Thomas Jefferson

  17. #377
    Quote Originally Posted by Laize View Post
    I'm not suggesting that I speak for all men
    Why in the actual fuck did you say the following then:

    Quote Originally Posted by Laize View Post
    In fact I don't think it's possible for a guy to be sexually attracted to a woman and then say he wouldn't have sex with her if he were being totally honest.
    I really don't follow this at all. One moment, you're saying what's possible for males, the next you're saying, "hey, I'm not speaking for anyone else".

  18. #378
    Quote Originally Posted by Bergtau View Post
    "In fact I don't think it's possible for a guy to be sexually attracted to a woman and then say he wouldn't have sex with her if he were being totally honest."

    I've posted research in this thread explaining how most men are just as emotional as women (but don't show it) and the research paper in the OP is from a peer reviewed journal. It might not be an exhaustive study but it sure as hell means more research should be done.

    What if it came back as a 5000 person study with the same results? Would you continue to say it (and people like me who think it accurately represents the overall population) was full of shit?

    I never said that the study was full of shit, I merely responded to your hypotheticals and your blanket claims.
    Perhaps I misspoke and should have said "It's really hard for me to believe a guy can be sexually attracted to someone and decline sex with them if the opportunity arises.

    The problem, though, is that you attack the semantics of the argument rather than the argument itself.

    This whole topic seems to be very dependent on the individual.

    And to be honest, I really can't be asked to walk on eggshells and make sure to cross the Ts and dot the Is on an internet forum.

    I'm a dude in his house in NJ. Not a political adviser in DC. If you can't look at an argument for what it is rather than the semantics surrounding it then I don't frankly care.
    Last edited by Laize; 2012-11-14 at 04:09 AM.

  19. #379
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    Quote Originally Posted by Laize View Post

    This whole topic seems to be very dependent on the individual.
    This I would agree with If you're someone who can just "be friends", then there you go.

  20. #380
    Quote Originally Posted by Bergtau View Post
    If your opinion hinges on everybody thinking the same way as you and many people lying, your opinion is probably invalid.
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