unrequited love

[Clockwork Pinkie]

Move on, it is probably more of harassment than unrequited love.

[Grummgug]

Ps. Sending messages of love via text or Facebook is a terrible, terrible idea. Never do that shit again. Face to face only.

You'd be surprised to learn that people are different, and not all agree with this.

[Spectral]

She told you she doesn't want to be with you. She's under no obligation to provide any reason whatsoever, you're not entitled to receive such a reason, and you have no right to continuously harass her when she's made it clear she's not interested. Judging by your actions though, the most likely reason why she didn't want to be with you is that you're excessively clingy and somewhat obsessive.

[Deleted]

Life of a stalker.

Sounds like she did the right choice to not get together with you, really seems like you're a really unstable person, no pun intended.

[Spectral]

Why does she need to give you a reason? She's saving herself the trouble of listing out all your faults. Get over it.

Indeed. I don't know why people want to know the reason so bad. It's never, "you're too smart, have too good of a career, and your unit is too girthy".

[Grummgug]

When it comes to this kind of stuff it really is a woman's world - don't get me started on everything else. You have to follow her wishes here, meaning if she wants no communication with you doing what you are doing is only making it worse. A man's feelings are secondary here no one cares that you are sad or hurt. You are expected to suck it up and move on. Contrary to how you feel you are not alone and we've all been there (thank you crazy bitches). You will hurt for a while but it will go away with time, and I know you don't want to hear this, but even striking up another friendly relationship with another girl will help tremendously. Take care, feel better and much luck to you.

This is all very true. Women say they want a guy who can express feelings, but then you get into situations like this and....women want a guy with zero emotions who can heartlessly move on after a breakup.

It is a woman's world in this realm. That's why you see so many woman who are thrill junkies. They chase after the guy who is the biggest thrill. The problem is, to be that much of a thrill often requires the guy doesn't give a crap about anyone or anything. So the girl falls for the biggest thrill, marries him, has his baby, and then....SURPRISE!....realizes the guy doesn't give a crap about anyone or anything, including raising the child.

That's when she divorces the guy, and winds up a single mother living off government assistance. And the child doesn't get raised correctly, with no parents around to guide them, and the poverty cycle begins as that child grows up poor and stupid, and has more kids who are poor and stupid.

In the 19th century, people didn't marry for love. It was a business arrangement, designed mostly to protect family wealth. Sometimes, I yearn for that age. It sounds a hell of a lot better than what is going on today, with divorce rates sky-high and children without fathers.

[Clockwork Pinkie]

You'd be surprised to learn that people are different, and not all agree with this.

It's ok when you're together, but not in the position he was in. It just turns out creepy.

[yetgdhfgh]

The girls not interested so just move on

Love is hard and thats just the way it is

[Spectral]

Love is hard and thats just the way it is

If the other person doesn't return it at all, it's probably not really love anyway. It's infatuation or obsession.

[Itisamuh]

No offense, but she probably sensed the stalker in you that you are revealing now, and wanted nothing to do with you. Break ups hurt, everyone knows that, and sometimes it really does feel like girls take guys for granted these days. But just leave her alone, look for a new one, and learn from all the crap you are getting in this thread.

[Deleted]

ITT, everyone displays their emotional immaturity.

OP, she clearly isn't interested and you should stop trying to contact her because if it's gone as far as threats of legal action to get you to stop then you have become slightly stalkerish.

That said, I completely understand why you feel so messed up by it. You have no closure, you have no reason as to why the thing you love was taken away from you. It's like getting fired from your job by your boss saying "I'm sorry we don't think you should work here anymore, we're not telling you why, just go". While she is under no obligation to explain why she wanted to break up, it's just basic human decency to give someone closure in that situation. Even if it's painful to hear it's what you need to hear to move on with your life and stop obsessing about why it didn't work out.

Unfortunately there are many many people in the world who will just cut and run because it's too difficult to have that conversation, she's an immature coward OP and you are better off without someone like that in your life.

I think these situations arise from a fallacy in society that suggests that men cannot cope with emotional trauma while woman are experts at it by right of being female, I think a great deal of both sexes believe it and it's utter nonsense. This leads to emotionally immature breakups with no proper conversation about why it happened, just some "it's not you, it's me" type nonsense. Pro tip, if you don't want your soon to be ex to become a stalker, tell them why they're becoming an ex and they will 99% of the time deal with it and move on regardless of their gender or perceived emotional retardation.

[Grummgug]

I think a lot of this stems from the desire to improve ones self as a person. The relationship failed, and you want to know exactly why in case it is a personal flaw that needs to be fixed. But she won't tell you.

Its like a guy with a broken-down car,and he tries to inspect the damage and fix the problem. It is in a man's nature to be Mr. Fix-It and solve problems. Now imagine the car calls the cops and files a harassment lawsuit. It leaves him confused and unable to fulfill a primal desire to solve problems.

[Letmesleep]

Move on dude, you're harrasing her, leave her be.

So, she's not responding yet you continue sending messages? Stalker much?

Why does she need to give you a reason? She's saving herself the trouble of listing out all your faults. Get over it.

Look for one of the other 4.5 billion girls on the planet?

That's it guys, get it out. Get allllll the rage out, that's what the Internet is for, right? Holy fuck, I see the cynicism squad arrived at the scene first. I definitely expected better out of you, Vizzle.

When it comes to this kind of stuff it really is a woman's world - don't get me started on everything else. You have to follow her wishes here, meaning if she wants no communication with you doing what you are doing is only making it worse. Contrary to how you feel you are not alone and we've all been there (thank you crazy bitches). You will hurt for a while but it will go away with time, and I know you don't want to hear this, but even striking up another friendly relationship with another girl will help tremendously. Take care, feel better and much luck to you.

Finally a poster that isn't getting off on the OP's pain. I agree with this, OP, it's really tough to not have closure. As much as those other posters pretend they wouldn't want the same, everyone wants to know why their relationship fell apart. Unfortunately, it sounds like you may never get that chance. You can't really force anyone to talk to you, and even as much as it hurts you're going to have to let this go. I don't have any answers for you, but just know that it will indeed get better in time. I understand why you might be skeptical of that right now, but a lot of people have lost love and moved on, I know I have. It will get better, you just have to hold on till it does. Hang in there man, a lot of people know exactly how you're feeling right now.

[Spectral]

Finally a poster that isn't getting off on the OP's pain. I agree with this, OP, it's really tough to not have closure. As much as those other posters pretend they wouldn't want the same, everyone wants to know why their relationship fell apart. Unfortunately, it sounds like you may never get that chance. You can't really force anyone to talk to you, and even as much as it hurts you're going to have to let this go. I don't have any answers for you, but just know that it will indeed get better in time. I understand why you might be skeptical of that right now, but a lot of people have lost love and moved on, I know I have. It will get better, you just have to hold on till it does. Hang in there man, a lot of people know exactly how you're feeling right now.

Here's the thing - anyone with a tick of self awareness already has a pretty decent idea of what went wrong. Relationships don't just end when absolutely everything's fine and both people are completely happy with the circumstances. If there doesn't seem like there was anything wrong, than the likelihood is that the other person just doesn't desire to continue a relationship because they want to try out other options. Using context clues pretty much gives the answer. Hell, the OP pretty much showed us exactly what the problem in this relationship was.

[Deleted]

That's it guys, get it out. Get allllll the rage out, that's what the Internet is for, right? Holy fuck, I see the cynicism squad arrived at the scene first. I definitely expected better out of you, Vizzle.

Uhm, you think it's perfectly acceptable to pester someone when they don't answer? It would be quite obvious she doesn't want to talk to him in such a situation, he's literally a stalker in early stages if he keeps trying to contact her when it's obvious she doesn't want to talk.

[Letmesleep]

Here's the thing - anyone with a tick of self awareness already has a pretty decent idea of what went wrong. Relationships don't just end when absolutely everything's fine and both people are completely happy with the circumstances. If there doesn't seem like there was anything wrong, than the likelihood is that the other person just doesn't desire to continue a relationship because they want to try out other options. Using context clues pretty much gives the answer. Hell, the OP pretty much showed us exactly what the problem in this relationship was.

I'm sorry Spectral, but that's just not true. My Uncle was engaged to a woman he was madly in love with and a couple months before the wedding she left the entire state without saying anything. He tried to get a hold of her and she just said "I'm sorry". "I'm sorry"? That's it? Everyone would want better answer than that. Wanting a clear reason why the relationship ended is not odd or unreasonable, and she owes it to him. There could be any number of reasons why a relationship ends and when you've been together six months it's common human courtesy to at least let someone know why you're leaving. Obviously problems exist, but how can the OP fix what broke the relationship if he can't identify it? Not everyone is a mind reader, and his girlfriend could be just as out of touch with her emotions as the OP. Maybe she left because of his looks, maybe she didn't feel secure, maybe they fought too much, maybe it was one of half a million other reasons. People coming in and harping on the OP is wrong. People preach about compassion and then show none.

---------- Post added 2012-11-18 at 09:14 AM ----------

Uhm, you think it's perfectly acceptable to pester someone when they don't answer? It would be quite obvious she doesn't want to talk to him in such a situation, he's literally a stalker in early stages if he keeps trying to contact her when it's obvious she doesn't want to talk.

When you paint things in all black or all white, no. I'm sorry, you can't equate any man who wants some answers with a stalker. I already said he's going to have to let this go, but to pretend he's some rapist in the making is unfair.

[Spectral]

If there's literally not a reason, then the reason is that the other person is mentally unstable. If there doesn't appear to be an obvious reason, then it's very likely that they just desire to sleep with other people and they don't have a way of voicing that that sounds sufficiently acceptable in a fairly sex negative society. In either of those cases, there's absolutely nothing for someone to do to "fix" the circumstance. If those aren't the reasons, then it's likely something that would be fairly easy to identify with a bit of introspection, or asking friends, "hey what do you think went wrong?". In the OP's case (assuming he's not trolling), it seems fairly obvious that the reason she bailed is because he's excessively clingy and doesn't respect boundaries; that seems like a fair conclusion to reach about someone who continues to attempt to contact someone after they've made it very clear that they don't desire contact.

[Deleted]

Here's the thing - anyone with a tick of self awareness already has a pretty decent idea of what went wrong. Relationships don't just end when absolutely everything's fine and both people are completely happy with the circumstances. If there doesn't seem like there was anything wrong, than the likelihood is that the other person just doesn't desire to continue a relationship because they want to try out other options. Using context clues pretty much gives the answer. Hell, the OP pretty much showed us exactly what the problem in this relationship was.

So you're saying you shouldn't tell people the reasons you need/want to break up with them and let them self analyse themselves to find the reasons? Because clearly when their whole world has been ripped apart they aren't just going to self criticise themselves into semi-madness

FYI, a LOT of times a partner saying they want to break up comes out of left field, a lot of people never really discuss their feelings with their partner, hide stuff, pretend it's all ok becayuse it's easier etc.

To avoid any confusion and to show basic human respect for your (ex)partners feelings teh solution is simple, an honest conversation.

[Jeleh]

Keep calling her, if that doesn't work try turning up outside her flat at about 3am with some flowers and a bottle of liquor.

[Letmesleep]

@ Spectral: While you or I can speculate about the reason she left him, you would want answers just as much as he does. Saying "he should know" doesn't really cover it, and even if that was true, why does he not deserve at least a conversation? How would you feel if your girlfriend just up and left? Would you be satisfied because you had already identified the reasons she left? That's even assuming your scenario is correct, in that people always do and should know exactly why someone leaves.