Thread: English work!

  1. #1
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    Post English work!

    Hey guys,

    I'm in desperate need of your help! I've been doing some English work for most of the day, and I need an ending, something with a twist, but not too farfetched. Story so far is about a fireman who goes to the World Trade Centre when its first been attacked, he saves a woman, and see's a man throw himself off the building.

    I just need an ending, something with a really nice twist, but nothing like 'AN EPIC UNICORN COMES AND PEWS HIM IN THE ANUS WITH A SUPER EPIC AWESOME LASER OF DEATH'

    There's gotta be some awesome creative writer's on here, and I NEED YOUR HELP, ANSWER MY PRAYERS!!!!

    Cheers guys

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Josh Lainton View Post
    Hey guys,

    I'm in desperate need of your help! I've been doing some English work for most of the day, and I need an ending, something with a twist, but not too farfetched. Story so far is about a fireman who goes to the World Trade Centre when its first been attacked, he saves a woman, and see's a man throw himself off the building.

    I just need an ending, something with a really nice twist, but nothing like 'AN EPIC UNICORN COMES AND PEWS HIM IN THE ANUS WITH A SUPER EPIC AWESOME LASER OF DEATH'

    There's gotta be some awesome creative writer's on here, and I NEED YOUR HELP, ANSWER MY PRAYERS!!!!

    Cheers guys

    plane Hijacker zombies? who go wraaagh. then infect the ppl in the tower?
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  3. #3
    If you just add in a twist at the end without any buildup or subtle hints it can kind of appear forced or unnatural. I mean if it was me I'd probably write in something in the beginning when you're getting to know the fireman about him saving someone from jumping off of a building or a bridge earlier in the story, and then when he sees the man jumping from the WTC he'd realize it was the same guy and that even though he had been talked out of it earlier on and didn't appear to be suicidal (could even have him come in and thank the firemen for bringing him down in that lift they usually have), he still decided to jump because the alternative could be potentially far more horrific.

    If you were to just add one scene of him saving someone early in the story though it could appear too obvious so you'd need maybe a few different examples that you could even potentially reintroduce into the story to highlight the fact that all ranges of people were inside the building and that it affected (several) communities.

    I'm no English major though so this might be garbage, but hey new ideas \o/

  4. #4
    I wish I knew what you were aiming for. I also wish you gave a little more context. Hard to give twist ending when I only have a very vague description of your story.

    I'll try my best anyways with what I got.

    A more tragic twist, is the woman he saves is his sister, while later he'd find out the man who jumped was his father.

    Another would be the building collapses, killing the fireman and the woman he "saved", but the man who jumped survived.

    Kind of hard to put anything but a tragic twist o nthis sort of thing.

    But if you want something actiony, an epic unicorn comes and pews him in the anus with a super epic awesome laser of death.
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  5. #5
    Make it a psychological thriller. In the fireman's eyes, he goes into the building and starts saving people. Things start getting groggy for him after a while because of all the smoke going to his brain. He starts getting confused, but he can't stop doing his job. He starts seeing things that aren't supposed to be there. Eventually he sees a man about to fall out a broken window; in truth, the man is him.
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  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by vizzle View Post
    Make it a psychological thriller. In the fireman's eyes, he goes into the building and starts saving people. Things start getting groggy for him after a while because of all the smoke going to his brain. He starts getting confused, but he can't stop doing his job. He starts seeing things that aren't supposed to be there. Eventually he sees a man about to fall out a broken window; in truth, the man is him.
    I'm extremely keen on this idea, so much so I'm tempted to rewrite my entire essay! Can I ask for ideas on what may happen when strange things start happening? Hallucinations etc?

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Josh Lainton View Post
    I'm extremely keen on this idea, so much so I'm tempted to rewrite my entire essay! Can I ask for ideas on what may happen when strange things start happening? Hallucinations etc?
    Well if you really want to get into it, you could subtly add in hints that the fireman has been depressed for a while, so the reader is left confused if the fireman actually intentionally committed suicide at the end (or if his subconscious drove him to do it) or if he really was just too groggy from all the smoke. Just add in small things, very subtle things, like maybe another fireman makes a comment like "how's divorced life treatin' ya?" and he'll shrug it off pretty calmly since he's a strong fireman type of guy, except it's truthfully eating him on the inside. Just little things. How he sees his daughter in the smoke, and he hears her screaming through the rumble of the falling building, but he knows that the ex-wife has taken her from him.

    And of course you'd have to balance the depression stuff with real confusion from the smoke, how the smoke is making it hard to breathe, making him confused, seeing hallucinations.
    Last edited by vizzle; 2012-11-21 at 08:34 PM.
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  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Josh Lainton View Post
    I'm extremely keen on this idea, so much so I'm tempted to rewrite my entire essay! Can I ask for ideas on what may happen when strange things start happening? Hallucinations etc?
    Perhaps some things like seeing people out of the corner of his eyes in the smoke, but when he gets there either there was nobody there at all, or the person there was obviously dead. You don't want the hallucinations to be too extreme, make them things that would fit in with the chaos surrounding him
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  9. #9
    Pandaren Monk Auloria's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arcilux View Post
    Perhaps some things like seeing people out of the corner of his eyes in the smoke, but when he gets there either there was nobody there at all, or the person there was obviously dead. You don't want the hallucinations to be too extreme, make them things that would fit in with the chaos surrounding him
    I like that, like he thinks he sees a little boy run under a desk and wants to save him, but he looks and there is nothing there.


    You should do some research on hypoxia in firefighters to make sure it's realistic. He will be experiencing headaches, have trouble with problem-solving, experience confusion, etc. You might make a subtle reference to an overdue inspection on his respirator, or maybe he borrowed his buddy's respirator, which didn't quit fit.

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