We're not the same ones, you and I
Oh no, you and me, we're not the same
If we were the same ones
I'd draw this knife across my throat and bleed it dry
There are lots of rational reasons to commit suicide but you're still approaching this from an emotional angle. You aren't ready yet, OP. As long as you'd take a ticket to a better life if it was given to you, you're not ready. As long as you have regrets, you're not ready. Suicideproject.org is ------> that way, and it's for everyone who wants to self sooth by discussing suicide and posting "plans" to do so. You'll find a good deal of support there, but I'm personally sick of people who confuse depression with a commitment to death. Pulling a figure straight out of my ass, I'd wager 99% of people who speak of suicide won't even attempt it. That 99% make it unbelievably difficult for the 1% to find peaceful ways of passing because the public sees the 99% wasn't serious and then vote down even the most bare bones euthanasia laws.
I need to suggest that you seek help, as what you describe is certainly not normal. Where that help can be found may vary for individuals like yourself; some will recommend professional medical help, therapists can turn people's lives around, and still others would suggest religious or spiritual support.
I will, however, need to close this thread. There isn't a whole lot we are going to be able to do other than point you in one of those directions.
Whatever you do, don't be so foolish as to end your own life. Find support.