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  1. #1
    Herald of the Titans Geminiwolf's Avatar
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    How big of an age gap is needed to be considered weird for dating for 21 year olds?

    Ok so I'm 21 and I currently work at a library in the Audio/Visual section where we have movies, music and audio books. Anyway, occasionally I will check out a girl who looks attractive and acts like an adult, good personality and even looks like she's around my age (21) and then I find out she's really 17. Is it weird for me to be attracted to someone that young? I've always wondered that. I always say I will go no younger than 3 years from me but if a girl looks attractive enough and acts mature and has a good personality I will go 4 years but that's the absolute maximum right now. As for older girls I ONLY go as far as 3 years. Of course when I'm older the age gap will be a bit bigger but for now at my age, I can only go so far. So I was just curious to know what others think at what age is it considered creepy or weird to be attracted to someone or date at the age of 21?
    “Ever wonder why ice cubes taste so boring? It’s cuz you make ‘em outta stupid water, you bimbo! Put some fruit juice in there and freeze it into ice cubes, and put THAT in your milk.”
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  2. #2
    Merely a Setback Rukentuts's Avatar
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    Three years.
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  3. #3
    The Insane Wildtree's Avatar
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    4 years really? That's not an issue at all.

    Make it somewhat in the 30 - 40 years range, to call it rather weird.

  4. #4
    Probably anywhere from 16 to 18, depending on the laws where you live. Any younger than that is asking for trouble, but there should be no shame with that 17 year old.

  5. #5
    If she's still in high school and you're in college/university, I'd say that's a bit skeezy.

  6. #6
    Not really. Seems okay to me. Acceptable age gap increases as you get older so only 4 years seems just fine at 21. Well, at least if she's graduated high school.

  7. #7
    The thing is when you're 17 you are very different from a 21 y/o but when you are 25 you're not different from a 21 y/o. Once people reach a certain age we're all adults and the changes are minimal but from teen to adulthood the changes are pretty significant. So I personally don't think there is a number. As of this specific case I don't think you're too old for her. Her parents specifically her dad will probably not like it very much since you're a college kid and she is still in HS.
    Last edited by Gotjuice; 2012-11-24 at 04:25 PM.
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  8. #8
    Peeps will say if you were 21 and she was 25, it would be fine, but you'll probably get slanted for 17 - 21

    Saying that, my ex was 17 (turned 18 during the relationship) and I was 21, he folks didn't mind as they got to know me as a person not a number, got on well with all her friends etc,

    So personally no, as long as your not a loser whos just there to take advantage because shes young your fine,

    Oh also me now, I'm 22 and a girl just about to turn 18 is interested, I'm still on the bench about it, so I know how you feel

    Warning: please refrain from using slurs
    Last edited by Pendulous; 2012-11-24 at 10:51 PM.

  9. #9
    Herald of the Titans Geminiwolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rukentuts View Post
    Three years.
    Really? it would be weird for me to date a 18 year old?
    “Ever wonder why ice cubes taste so boring? It’s cuz you make ‘em outta stupid water, you bimbo! Put some fruit juice in there and freeze it into ice cubes, and put THAT in your milk.”
    "One small mankind and I'm gonna leap the heck outta this moon rocket." - Kneel Aurmstrang
    For your health.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by dd614 View Post
    If she's still in high school and you're in college/university, I'd say that's a bit skeezy.
    One of my friends just turned 17 3 weeks ago,

    Her boyfriend is in uni, hes 21,

    Now from my PoV just turning 17 and being 17 and 6 months, is where I'd say draw the line, but if its last year of college v first year uni, then I think you need to rework how you think

  11. #11
    It's not weird to be physically attracted to 17 year, because these days most of them look like they're in their early 20's.
    Dating one might get you in trouble, depending on where you live.

    Also, personally, I wouldn't date one, because here the mental difference between 21 and 17 is massive.

  12. #12
    Half your age plus 7.

    21/2 = 10.5 + 7 = 17.5

    You're fine.

  13. #13
    Oh but I will add, a lot of girls who go out with older lads, and these girls are 17, tend to dump their bfs at 18, purley because they go out with girls, see them having fun, dancing with lads, necking them, and feel left out,

    ^ true

    My cousin is now on his 3rd 17 year old miss's and the other two both dumped him for that above reason

  14. #14
    Merely a Setback Rukentuts's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Geminiwolf View Post
    Really? it would be weird for me to date a 18 year old?
    21 and 18 is fine. I meant over three years.
    Quote Originally Posted by GreatOak View Post
    Hey, as a transabled, transethnic, non-binary, genderqueer, neo-communist, indoor-capable republican otherkin I am offended by your callous display of ignorance.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cybran View Post
    Both of those links don't provide any evidence. They make unsubstantiated statements

  15. #15
    http://xkcd.com/314/

    That is all.
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  16. #16
    Over 9000! Gheld's Avatar
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    My ex that things went the furthest with, who earns the title of my ex, because we were common law for 5 years, was 18 and I was 22 when we met. 21 and 17 I would hardly call weird. if it was 20 and 16 I'd be a little concerned, and 19 and 15 I'd call schenannigans. At 21 and 17 you're far enough under the redline to be safe though, as long as her parents aren't crazy.

  17. #17
    Mechagnome
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    Quote Originally Posted by Liara View Post
    It's not weird to be physically attracted to 17 year, because these days most of them look like they're in their early 20's.
    Dating one might get you in trouble, depending on where you live.

    Also, personally, I wouldn't date one, because here the mental difference between 21 and 17 is massive.

    I would say the mental difference between a 21 year male and a 17 year girl is not as big, had it been the other way around tho. It's a known fact that girls mature faster then boys and that's why they often seek out slightly older guys. 4 years difference in this case is nothing, I have seen a 18 friend dating a 30 y/o man, that just gross me out.

  18. #18
    The Lightbringer Bigbazz's Avatar
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    21 and 17? Are you seriously even worried about this, lol. 18 year olds with 30 year olds is not unusual. My sister is 25 her boyfriend is 32 and they've been together for 7-8 years and recently had a child together.
    Last edited by Bigbazz; 2012-11-24 at 04:42 PM.
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  19. #19
    The Lightbringer Whitey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bigbazz View Post
    18 year olds with 30 year olds is not unusual.
    I'd feel creepishly weird for doing that myself though.
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  20. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by sisk View Post
    I would say the mental difference between a 21 year male and a 17 year girl is not as big, had it been the other way around tho. It's a known fact that girls mature faster then boys and that's why they often seek out slightly older guys. 4 years difference in this case is nothing, I have seen a 18 friend dating a 30 y/o man, that just gross me out.
    It's vastly different here due to 17 year-olds being in high school, whereas most 21 year-olds are past the army (which is mandatory), which is a very maturing experience.

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