What would you do in my position?

[Deleted]

I am currently NEET (Not in education employment or training) and left school with no GCSES, I've spent the last years playing video games constantly.

Needless to say when i received a call less than 1/2 months ago offering to help me out from the government (It was a private company who competed for a government contract to get young people out of being NEET) i was surprised.
I agreed to go through with it and i met a female mentor who went through my skills and lack of qualifications and even though i had no literal GCSES (i failed them by missing them through my truancy) i felt it was going well.

That was when i was dropped, she didn't respond to my calls nor emails. I couldn't understand why she would ignore me all of a sudden and eventually after much debilitating i contacted her place of work, they of course were confused and promised to pull my file up and investigate as to why i was dropped so suddenly.

Two weeks after that incident they responded, they were very short and very quick with it. While i had no qualifications and had no social group of friends they could not help me, there reasoning as they put it was this.

I was too kind... literally they were told to be expected to work with substance addicted teens and those who were extremely dim to put it blasé, i was pissed off to put it lightly.
They also told me that while i had no qualifications i held and conducted myself in a manner appropriate of working in qualified fields and felt i was a waste of there resources... Ok they said they felt there resources could be sourced better and then dropped me.

So my question to MMOchamp is this. What would you do? I've come to my senses after leaving the real world since the last 2 years of secondary school, i have no qualifications and no friends to assist me.
Those friends i used to have are moved on and wish nothing more with me, i wouldn't lie to you all and say im not feeling depressed about the situation because i am.

But its solely my fault, and i intend to fix my life.
So any and all advice you could give to me to repair the damage would be fantastic, even if it criticizes me.

I know i've fucked my life sideways at the age of 17, but i feel great remorse for this and i simply don't know what to do.

(P.S. my brother is well known to the police and cannot help me, my mother is an ex druggie who i hate for certain things shes done to me and my other family live in Belfast)

[Sealed Shut]

I am currently NEET (Not in education employment or training) and left school with no GCSES, I've spent the last years playing video games constantly.

Needless to say when i received a call less than 1/2 months ago offering to help me out from the government (It was a private company who competed for a government contract to get young people out of being NEET) i was surprised.
I agreed to go through with it and i met a female mentor who went through my skills and lack of qualifications and even though i had no literal GCSES (i failed them by missing them through my truancy) i felt it was going well.

That was when i was dropped, she didn't respond to my calls nor emails. I couldn't understand why she would ignore me all of a sudden and eventually after much debilitating i contacted her place of work, they of course were confused and promised to pull my file up and investigate as to why i was dropped so suddenly.

Two weeks after that incident they responded, they were very short and very quick with it. While i had no qualifications and had no social group of friends they could not help me, there reasoning as they put it was this.

I was too kind... literally they were told to be expected to work with substance addicted teens and those who were extremely dim to put it blasé, i was pissed off to put it lightly.
They also told me that while i had no qualifications i held and conducted myself in a manner appropriate of working in qualified fields and felt i was a waste of there resources... Ok they said they felt there resources could be sourced better and then dropped me.

So my question to MMOchamp is this. What would you do? I've come to my senses after leaving the real world since the last 2 years of secondary school, i have no qualifications and no friends to assist me.
Those friends i used to have are moved on and wish nothing more with me, i wouldn't lie to you all and say im not feeling depressed about the situation because i am.

But its solely my fault, and i intend to fix my life.
So any and all advice you could give to me to repair the damage would be fantastic, even if it criticizes me.

I know i've fucked my life sideways at the age of 17, but i feel great remorse for this and i simply don't know what to do.

(P.S. my brother is well known to the police and cannot help me, my mother is an ex druggie who i hate for certain things shes done to me and my other family live in Belfast)

this may sound stupid question, but why can't you just get a job? work construction or something? learn a trade skill with on job training. work at a store or restaurant... what stops you from doing something like this?

[Deleted]

this may sound stupid question, but why can't you just get a job? work construction or something? learn a trade skill with on job training. work at a store or restaurant... what stops you from doing something like this?

I've considered it, but after being a recluse for so long i find myself mentally unwilling to go out. And considering i was always a quiet person... Well i just dont know i guess.

I also live out in the middle of nowhere, with a bus every 2 hours. I know it sounds like im making excuses up... but here this is my quaint little villege.

https://maps.google.co.uk/maps?hl=en...40126&t=h&z=15

[Sealed Shut]

I've considered it, but after being a recluse for so long i find myself mentally unwilling to go out. And considering i was always a quiet person... Well i just dont know i guess.

There's only one person stopping you from making more of yourself... YOU. nothing anyone can do or suggest unless YOU are willing to put the effort out there.

[Deleted]

Hey man!
I know how you're feeling, however i've been in your situation for a shorter time (more like 6 months), and now i'm working as a first-line support technician
I live in Sweden, and I came out of upper secondary school with As in five subjects, B in one, C in one and the rests being F's (atleast 19 F's)
I figured I was boned for life, but just get a resumé going and... well don't straight out lie, but don't tell the entire truth when it's possible to get away with less and bend the truth where you can, if it can be minsterpreted while not being a lie, then you're golden.
With a good resumé there's a good chance for being called to an interview, once you're there you just be the most awesome, fun, social, confident, amazing person there is and it shouldn't be a problem.

I know I make it sound easier than it is, you'll have to deal with rejections, sure. But life is by no means over, which I initially thought.

[Shadowmelded]

Universities have programs to help you into them. Look into access courses, I know Glasgow university and other universities in Scotland do them at least, and they're not restricted. They have law access courses and chemistry, math, nursing/medical etc... No requirements to join, if you're on the dole they waive a lot of the costs, you come out with credits and they help you apply to universities, with paperwork etc... with the goal of getting you in. Most universities will offer a conditional based on your access results (like BBBB or AABB etc..) and any other qualifications you need to apply to the university (The LNAT exam for Glasgow as an example)

[anveena]

There's only one person stopping you from making more of yourself... YOU. nothing anyone can do or suggest unless YOU are willing to put the effort out there.

There's so much truth to this post. Once you realize this you'll be hating yourself for not realizing this sooner.

[Deleted]

There's so much truth to this post. Once you realize this you'll be hating yourself for not realizing this sooner.

Thats a sound theory, but the real reason is once you havent been out for anything other than pure basic necessity you tend to go inwards mentally refusing to go out and building a barrier filled with reasons. Whenever i attempt to rationalise it i just fill up with dread of it and clam up.

As for what shadow and pigy said... it's interesting. Im not entirely sure cambridge university would welcome me, but perhaps my local college would have some sort of program to intergrate me into it.

And congratulations to pigy, you turned it around for yourself

[Sealed Shut]

Thats a sound theory, but the real reason is once you havent been out for anything other than pure basic necessity you tend to go inwards mentally refusing to go out and building a barrier filled with reasons. Whenever i attempt to rationalise it i just fill up with dread of it and clam up.

As for what shadow and pigy said... it's interesting. Im not entirely sure cambridge university would welcome me, but perhaps my local college would have some sort of program to intergrate me into it.

And congratulations to pigy, you turned it around for yourself

Just take baby steps. Wake up tomorrow with the goal of picking up 1 job application. that's it.

[Deadvolcanoes]

I know I've fucked my life sideways at the age of 17, but i feel great remorse for this and i simply don't know what to do.

You are currently 17?

Bro your life hasn't even started. Anything negative that has been done can be undone. Figure out what you like, take your time. Have fun. Set goals for the future, but concentrate on the here and now.

I'm almost 30 and I still dont know what I want to do with the rest of my life.

[Shadowmelded]

As for what shadow and pigy said... it's interesting. Im not entirely sure cambridge university would welcome me, but perhaps my local college would have some sort of program to intergrate me into it.

Glasgow university's access course has a special deadline for people wanting to apply to oxbridge, and the last I heard they've had at least 2-3 people get in every year. I don't know the particulars of the people who got in or what other qualifications they might have had that could have made them more appealing but never say never.

[Blueobelisk]

Isn't he too young without enough education for college?

You know what you need dude? Some ambition. You need to suck it up and either go to school or get a job. I really hope it works out for you but you really need to want this to happen.

[Maester]

There has got to be a grocery store or convenience store close by to where you live. Make a killer resume, take a shower, put on some nice clothes, pretty much just clean yourself up and walk down to that grocery store or convenience store. Be extremely polite and give the resume to a manager or ask a sales associate to pass it on to a manager if there aren't any available. Go to as many grocery stores and convenience stores as you possibly can and repeat. Then go home and do whatever you've been doing, and there's a chance you'll land an interview.

If you get an interview, dress as sharp as you possibly can and REALLY clean yourself up. Go there, tell your personality to fuck off, and adopt a new one, temporarily. A personality that is impossible to dislike. Act smart, use somewhat big words, don't stutter, and present yourself as if you'll die if the interviewer doesn't like you.

Chances are you'll land yourself a job. Force yourself to be the best you possibly can at this job. Never be late, never skip work, try the hardest you can possibly try. Set up a savings account and start saving up for university, spend the money that isn't going into your savings on whatever you want. I recommend food, water, and your home first.

Go back to high school, finish high school with respectable grades, write & pass those GCSES, apply to a university & program of your choice, use that money you saved up to pay for said university. Go through university. Get a degree. Look for a better job with that degree.

Find work. Mission complete.

[Deleted]

You have 2 ways. One is what Sealed Shut said. The other is going to your family in Belfast to help you out while you actually finish your studies.

In fact, it would be much better for yourself if you tried to have a job while finishing your studies. In your position you need a bit of a stoic resolution to believe your life is in your hands, and that to get yourself out of where you are, you'll need to endure a bit of hardship initially.

[Deleted]

Edited out; morning grumpyness.

Either get a hold of yourself or wait until you're out of puberty and the world doesn't seem so gloomy anymore. Giving up on life @ 17 is just beyond me.

[Asphyxiate9]

There are courses you can do at universities if you failed high school / some other reason (such as career change). I did one this year because I only did 3 of the 4 required subjects for my final year of high school. Next year I can do whatever I want really except science based subjects (because I did an IT strand).

It was fairly easy, you just need to get motivated which can be hard I'll admit.

The great part was that I didnt have to pay anything, the commonwealth paid for it (In australia).

[Aethilus]

You are currently 17?

Bro your life hasn't even started. Anything negative that has been done can be undone. Figure out what you like, take your time. Have fun. Set goals for the future, but concentrate on the here and now.

I'm almost 30 and I still dont know what I want to do with the rest of my life.

I second this. There is absolutely no way that you have ruined your life at 17, especially as you say you're 17 and 'too nice' for this government aid program.

[Deleted]

Edited out; morning grumpyness.

Either get a hold of yourself or wait until you're out of puberty and the world doesn't seem so gloomy anymore. Giving up on life @ 17 is just beyond me.

I dont see how making this thread, and saying i felt like i fucked my life up is giving up. Maybe in your world you equate fucking up with giving up and the puberty comment is just kind of indicating your personality traits to me, but yeah have more coffee

---------- Post added 2012-11-30 at 08:28 AM ----------

There are courses you can do at universities if you failed high school / some other reason (such as career change). I did one this year because I only did 3 of the 4 required subjects for my final year of high school. Next year I can do whatever I want really except science based subjects (because I did an IT strand).

It was fairly easy, you just need to get motivated which can be hard I'll admit.

The great part was that I didnt have to pay anything, the commonwealth paid for it (In australia).

Im actually interested in the IT field, but its so vast im not sure where to start. Eitherway that piece of advice was fairly handy to me, as in explaining in loose terms the career based progression without results.

[Barnabas]

@OP Start drinking heavily so that program has no choice but to take you in. JK. There are plenty of options. You could finish you GCSES? You could learn a trade? You could find a job? I could go on and on? You're only 17. Life isn't over because of some choices you made and others made.

[Deleted]

I dont see how making this thread, and saying i felt like i fucked my life up is giving up. Maybe in your world you equate fucking up with giving up and the puberty comment is just kind of indicating your personality traits to me, but yeah have more coffee [COLOR="red"]

True, I skimmed your post too fast not to mention bad wording from my side, but you still say you've fucked up your life, and I just don't see how it's possible at that age. And sorry but it's a biological fact that you're still in the middle of puberty, and that during puberty emotions feel overwhelming and encompassing. Didn't mean to come off as a jerk in the first post though so pardon that.
Also my coffeebrewer broke up on me this morning and it's snowing like a motherhugger outside so can't go get a new one!