Thread: Patch notes RL

  1. #1
    I am Murloc! Bananarepublic's Avatar
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    Patch notes RL

    Make your own RL patch notes!

    - Some third world countries have been revamped, it should be much more pleasant now.
    - Shitty beers have been removed.
    - Annoying people now get a debuff when they get too out of hand. - 50% Physical strenght for 15 minutes.
    - We revamped The Netherlands, weed should be much more easy to acquire now.
    - Winters have been changed slightly in The Netherlands, it should be 10% warmer at all times now.
    - Bad cops have been leashed, should you antagonize one bear in mind they now run back to their police car when going too far.
    - Fat people have been revamped, complaints about less stamina and less movement speed have forced us to make the changes. Every human is thin now.



    Foods, drinks and beers:

    - The alcohol percentage in beer has changed from 5,0% to 5,1%.
    - Bacon is now required in every meal to be able to eat.
    - Monster Energy has been revamped because of some forum complaints, it should now taste less chemical.
    - Chicken should now provide 3,5% more protein per 100 gram.
    - Water should now keep you sustained 2% longer per 100 ml.
    - Brocolli is now 50% more healthy.


    Wars, weapons and violence:

    - The wars in the Middle East have been stopped.
    - Japan and Poland are now at war.
    - AK47's should now be harder to acquire.
    - The Taliban organization has been nerfed by 20% to compensate for the American changes
    - The American Forces receive a 20% nerf on research and technology because we found the technology too advanced.
    - Canadians now have a buff when fighting against Americans as a compensation for all the jokes. +30% Physical strenght and dexterity.





    Any people have more patch notes to add?

    Bear in mind I made most changes just randomly and just thought of them on the spot.

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by coolkingler1 View Post

    - Canadians now have a buff when fighting against Americans as a compensation for all the jokes. +30% Physical strenght and dexterity.
    as a passive buff this is OP. give them a maple syrup cannon and war-moose mounts. that should provide some balance

  3. #3
    Racials Have Been Added
    Americans
    I'm Lovin It Increased consumption of food provides more energy reserves
    YeeHaww! Increased Accuracy of Projectile Weapons
    McCarthy Marks a target as a "Pinko Commie" Increasing damage done while decreasing personal credibility
    And If I didn't have to leave I'd do more.

  4. #4
    I am Murloc! Bananarepublic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by smelltheglove View Post
    as a passive buff this is OP. give them a maple syrup cannon and war-moose mounts. that should provide some balance
    Eh...I think it's balanced though.

    ---------- Post added 2012-11-30 at 04:57 PM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by Binary Speaker View Post
    Racials Have Been Added
    Americans
    I'm Lovin It Increased consumption of food provides more energy reserves
    YeeHaww! Increased Accuracy of Projectile Weapons
    McCarthy Marks a target as a "Pinko Commie" Increasing damage done while decreasing personal credibility
    And If I didn't have to leave I'd do more.
    Biased much? :P

  5. #5
    Pit Lord Geminiwolf's Avatar
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    -Reality has been destroyed and remade into something better
    -Gravity is now controllable
    -Spawn points have been added
    -You no longer die from 1 bullet, now takes 10 bullets for you to die and then you're sent to the nearest spawn point.
    -Got rid of all diseases. Diseases are no longer even possible to exist.
    -Cybernetics for human enhancement has been added
    -Stupid TV reality stars such the Jersey Shore cast have been made into slaves and are now mind controllable (if possible, they may or may not have a brain. Note: this is a working idea, may just remove them all together)
    -New kinds of weapons have been added: Laser guns, force fields, and Lightsabers along with unlimited ammo for your laser guns.
    -Humans now have the ability to learn Flight and have super strength.
    -Humans also now have the abilities: Psychic Shield, Spirit Blast, and Transform which allows you to take forms of different life forms.
    -Time has been removed.
    Last edited by Geminiwolf; 2012-11-30 at 06:22 PM.
    “Ever wonder why ice cubes taste so boring? It’s cuz you make ‘em outta stupid water, you bimbo! Put some fruit juice in there and freeze it into ice cubes, and put THAT in your milk.”
    "One small mankind and I'm gonna leap the heck outta this moon rocket." - Kneel Aurmstrang
    For your health.

  6. #6
    Herald of the Titans Ciddy's Avatar
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    - Gas prices have been reduced by 60% to make them reasonable.
    - All diseases have been removed.
    - All school bullies have received a -75% debuff to size and physical strength.
    - All stupid movies and annoying commercials/shows on TV have been removed.
    - Fixed a bug where MTV was no longer showing any actual music.
    - All speed limits have been removed (this also applies to red light cameras, speeding fines, etc as they are now obsolete).
    - All bad drivers now receive a "Bad driver" debuff that prevents any vehicle they attempt to drive from starting until the debuff is removed.
    - All candidates running for any form of office should now be 100% honest (we will monitor this closely and make any hotfixes as necessary).
    - All electronic devices (including computers) and vehicles should now work perfectly all the time and never fail.
    Last edited by Ciddy; 2012-12-01 at 05:50 PM.

  7. #7
    There's gotta be a QQ post about the RL patch notes. So I'll volunteer to be the QQ Poster =

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by coolkingler1 View Post
    Biased much? :P
    As an American. Yes. Yes I am =D

  9. #9
    I am Murloc! Bananarepublic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ciddy View Post
    - Gas prices have been reduced by 60% to make them reasonable.
    - All diseases have been removed.
    - All school bullies have received a -75% debuff to size and physical strength.
    - All stupid movies and annoying commercials/shows on TV have been removed.
    - Fixed a bug where MTV was no longer showing any actual music.
    - All speed limits have been removed (this also applies to red light cameras, speeding fines, etc as they are now obsolete).
    - All bad drivers now receive a "Bad driver" debuff that prevents any vehicle they attempt to drive from starting until the debuff is removed.
    - All candidates running for any form of office should now be 100% honest (we will monitor this closely and make any hotfixes as necessary).
    - All electronic devices (including computers) and vehicles should now work perfectly all the time and never fail.
    Lolled at MTV.

  10. #10
    - When asked out on a date, you're only allowed to decline if you've previously gone a date with that person.

  11. #11

  12. #12
    New expansion releasing in 2013: World of Realcraft: The Matrix!
    Featuring reality as you've never experienced it before. The full body gaming submersion vessels will be monitored by our finest in robot staffing units at all times.

  13. #13
    High Overlord dezaroth111's Avatar
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    - added a buff to single people that makes them 50% more attractive (caution may cause unexpected side effects).

  14. #14
    High Overlord AppleBobApple's Avatar
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    -Endangered species have had there spawn rate buffed 60%
    -Atomic energy now no longer causes a wipe for the raid group and does not apply a debuff

  15. #15
    High Overlord dezaroth111's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AppleBobApple View Post
    -Endangered species have had there spawn rate buffed 60%
    LOVE that one!!

  16. #16
    - The Human Male's racial ability Giant Growth now has it's cooldown reset when starting a new challenge mode.

  17. #17
    Field Marshal zerideth's Avatar
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    Welcome to Patch 10.3, ObamaNation.

    -Barack Obama - Presidency - duration increased by 400%
    -Due to popular demand, player housing is now in the game, but only to players who joined the Republican faction. Democrats will have to complete a chain of daily quests to receive theirs.
    -Fixed a bug where Fox News would report news in a fair, meaningful matter. This has been corrected.
    -Faction - Republican - Valor Points costs has been increased to 30% (was 0%)
    -Faction - Democrat - Valor Points costs has been decreased to 195 % (was 200%)
    -Oil prices increased to 125% (was 110%). Players will now be able to decrease the cost of oil prices by completing a series of daily quest for their respective faction.
    -Fixed a bug where Republicans would have to pay for oil. This has been corrected.

    New raid challenges await for Republicans who want to continue their character growth. Players will now have to defeat key figures of democracy in order to secede from their nation, including the President of the United States himself. More info will come in a later patch.


    Miscellaneous
    -Unicorn spawn rate decreased
    -Hacking spawn rate increased
    -Honey Boo Boo and other related characters spawn rate has been increased dramatically
    "No one wants to change, but no one wants to be left behind either" -Joshua, The World Ends With You

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