Current Child Care System Unfair

[Spectral]

People generally aren't rich because they fuck about..

I'm fairly sure income and education both correlate positively with increased number of average sexual partners. They also correlate with use of protection though...

[skrump]

I am all for child support if 2 parents separate and I do believe it should be a fixed amount not based on the parents income
(some wealthy parents are still smart enough not to buy a kid designer clothes a smartphone or a BMW)

On that note I also think men should have the legal right to wave all responsibility of an unborn child because unlike women they do not have the option of aborting the child and running away from taking responsibility "but if were to be equal then we should have that right".

[Silhouette of Seraphim]

Semaphore is already doing her thing, I see.

I like to imagine she practically vibrates with excitement when seeing threads like this.

[Orlong]

If it were up to you, rich men/women could go around making babies everywhere facing little consequences. Maybe that's one reason why the CCS is like that.

Youre missing the point of Child care. Its is NOT supposed to be punitive. Its NOT a fine, penalty, or tax. Its there so that the other parent can have the means necessary to house, clothe, and feed the kid

[semaphore]

Women are the primary caretakers because of deep-seeded cultural reasons, but it does in no way mean that if during marriage the woman takes care of the child more often than the father that after divorce the father couldn't be just as committed to their child as the mother.

That's irrelevant. Custody is awarded in the best interest of the child. "He can be very good too! Even though he totally wasn't!" doesn't fly. Not to mention, you can be committed without being a good caregiver. The court will choose the option that have the best chances of providing a the care that the child needs, with minimal disruptions. And that means letting the person who has been taking care of the child, to continue taking care of the child.

Be honest now, if the situation was reversed and a father is the primary caregiver but the mother wins custody anyway "because she could be just as committed", you'd be up in arms screaming about bias towards women.

And you know as well as I do that giving statistics on perfectly equal childcaring scenario during marriage but the custody being awarded to the mother is in no way measurable.

Perhaps, but I'm not the one bringing up statistics in order to pretend there is a bias. Reading the court judgements in custody cases clearly paints a gender-blind picture to me.

There are still plenty of examples, the people with divorced friends know most of the time at least one case like this.

Anecdotal evidence. Like your "divorced friends" aren't going to embellish to make themsevles seem like the victims.

Also if you think childcaring is all about measurable statistics I hope you never breed.

A bit hostile, don't you think? Where have I said that's all it is?

---------- Post added 2012-12-02 at 01:34 AM ----------

I don't know but I'm going to use my father as an example.

He never took care of us, not really, only when he felt like it. My mom never had a real job so it makes sense that she takes care of us, or used to, more often than my father did. I'm not saying this applies to everyone but what I really want to say is that, almost, everyone puts in their heads that moms need to take care of the child/ren while the father works and gets the money.

I don't know but I think a lot of courts also think like this but that's just my opinion on the whole matter.

The courts don't think like that. The courts think that whoever is taking care of the children already, is the best candidate to continue taking care of the children. It's all fine and dandy to argue that the other parent could be just as good at it, but if they haven't been doing it, there isn't much reason for the court to entrust the child to them - unless there is some compelling reason. I mean think about it. If the father have been taking care of the child most of the time and in the divorce the child went to the mother "because she could take care of the child better even though she never did", I'm pretty sure nobody would stand for that.

There is a widespread belief that the courts favour mother without really much in the way of any evidence. Hell, the vast majority of custody cases don't even go before a judge.

They aren't divorced, but were close to, but assuming they did, I would hope that my mom would be able to tend to my little brother simply because my father is fucking shit.

And that's why the court will (generally anyway) prefer to give custody to the parent who's already taking care of the children.

[This name sucks]

Shit like this makes me thankful to the creator for making me gay.

I didn't know you were gay. Is the UK army actually tolerant of that or is bullshit Christianity enabled homophobia.

[Fugus]

Thats how it should be. Most people dont need both spouses working but they do just so they can have their mcmansions, 2 cars, big TVs, and Iphones and all the things they want, but dont need.

I wish it was like that around here. Out where I live, you NEED both parents working or else your child won't a roof over their head. Hell, most of us need a roommate or significant other working just cause it takes 2 incomes to have a place nowadays out here. When a crap house in a crap area takes about $600 a month and most jobs refuse to pay you more than $850 a month after taxes. It just isn't possible out here without extensive government aid or illegal means.

[Spectral]

When a crap house in a crap area takes about $600 a month and most jobs refuse to pay you more than $850 a month after taxes.

You can get a house for $600 month? I'm in a one bedroom apartment (decent area) and just paid my month rents of $1570. I guess I could live in a crappy neighborhood and pay $1100.

[Fugus]

You can get a house for $600 month? I'm in a one bedroom apartment (decent area) and just paid my month rents of $1570. I guess I could live in a crappy neighborhood and pay $1100.

Sorry, miss spoke. Not a house. It was a single wide trailer, in a high crime area, about 12 miles out of town. $600 a month for rent but you will only make about $800-850 a month at most jobs you find out here unless you are lucky or doing something illegal.

Edit: Speaking of which, off to my FML job that is neither physically, nor mentally, nor sexually, nor financially gratifying in any way shape or form. Could actually make more money in a single summer day as a child with a lawnmower and a tank of gas than I make in a week here......

[Psilar]

I'm fairly sure income and education both correlate positively with increased number of average sexual partners. They also correlate with use of protection though...

Typically the more money you make and the better educated you are you have less children. The poor/uneducated have quite a few more on average. As for who is fucking more? I'm not sure we're going to get accurate data for that.

[Deleted]

Shit like this makes me thankful to the creator for making me gay.

Are you in the Navy?

Infracted: Please, refrain from insulting other poster. Mocking stereotyping is not constructive.

[Deleted]

Are you in the Navy?

Oh, seriously, fuck you. If you uttered this sentence in my actual presence I'd be inclined to punch your lights out. Alas, you choose to do it via the internet which is wise, or utterly fucking stupid depending on which way you look at it.

---------- Post added 2012-12-02 at 04:19 AM ----------

I didn't know you were gay. Is the UK army actually tolerant of that or is bullshit Christianity enabled homophobia.

We're cool with gay people. Christianity is a marginalised minority here.

Infracted: Please, refrain from insulting other posters.

[Deleted]

Oh, seriously, fuck you. If you uttered this sentence in my actual presence I'd be inclined to punch your lights out. Alas, you choose to do it via the internet which is wise, or utterly fucking stupid depending on which way you look at it.

---------- Post added 2012-12-02 at 04:19 AM ----------



We're cool with gay people. Christianity is a marginalised minority here.

Someone is butthurt.

[This name sucks]

Someone is butthurt.

Someone is unbelievably ignorant.

[Deleted]

Someone is unbelievably ignorant.

People take everything so seriously these days.

[HungryHippo]

Pretty sure that's a completely BS example he just made up. Like seriously, 550k in child support per month?


What cases are these? Do you have evidence that this is a widespread trend?
Again, the mother take care of children almost twice as much as the father on average. Statistically speaking it stands to reason for mothers to win custody much more often. An accusation of actual bias has to be backed up by something more specific than that.

Not sure If serious, asks for proof in said arguemts but provides none himself :/

[semaphore]

Not sure If serious, asks for proof in said arguemts but provides none himself :/

I didn't ask for proof - I asked for evidence (well, I want to see the reasoning) behind the claim. I provided mine - women care for children twice as often. Now if you want a citation for that (really rather self-evidence fact), it was Pew Research Center.

[Laize]

If this is in terms of a separation, child support should be paid according to the child's needs.

The family court system is so far beyond fucked it's not even funny.

No-fault divorce means women can divorce their husbands for no reason and collect permanent alimony for life. That's bullshit.

Alimony should last only a couple years while the ex-spouse gets on their feet and only if it's a divorce where both parties are unhappy, the breadwinning party initiates or the non-breadwinner can show that there was abuse.

Fuck this "no fault divorce" bullshit.

Child support? Should be capped at a fixed amount. It's meant for the well-being of the child. Past buying diapers and clothes and food there's no point in spending more. 5% of take-home pay or $200/month, whichever is less per child. I think that's fine.

[Imuhdude]

If this is in terms of a separation, child support should be paid according to the child's needs.

The family court system is so far beyond fucked it's not even funny.

No-fault divorce means women can divorce their husbands for no reason and collect permanent alimony for life. That's bullshit.

Alimony should last only a couple years while the ex-spouse gets on their feet and only if it's a divorce where both parties are unhappy, the breadwinning party initiates or the non-breadwinner can show that there was abuse.

Fuck this "no fault divorce" bullshit.

Child support? Should be capped at a fixed amount. It's meant for the well-being of the child. Past buying diapers and clothes and food there's no point in spending more. 5% of take-home pay or $200/month, whichever is less per child. I think that's fine.

Lemme break it down. The issue isn't child support, the issue is custody. I have a support order for my 2yr old of 638 per month on a 42k salary. With that I care for my daughter every single day and I mean everyday. Every weekend and every workday where she comes to my place and I feed her breakfast, lunch, and prepare a dinner before I leave for work at 3:30 pm when my mother arrives. I get diapers, clothing, baby stuff, and any cheap toy on craigslist. My daughter knows her abcs as well as her lettersounds. She'll be able to read by March. I deal with her every single day and my ex-girlfriend picks her up at night except on fridays. If I dare lift a finger to fix this, not only will it take the court months to adjust my chsupp, but by the time we get around to the hearing she would've taken the child to a whole nuther location for babysitting and I would have day care tacked onto my chsupp.

The system isn't just unfair and unjust, its a case of where a man's children is held hostage even against the best welfare of the children. I recognize I must lock her into staying here but when she gets my request for a hearing($560 alone for the paperwork) my near genuis child will be snatched from me like she was before.

Here's what happened the first time. My ex-g didn't inform me she was moving to NC which is 3k miles from OR so when we had a chsupp hearing that is when I was informed. Since I didn't know where she lived and she refused to disclose her address I was required to find insurance within 30miles or 30min of where she lives and since I couldn't I had to pay an addition 149 per month which made that current chsupp order at 739, plus I already had insurance at her previous address which I couldn't drop till open enrollment at $45mo. So when I appealed that hearing, the judge agreed I should be reimbursed for visiting my child and that decision alone lowered my chsupp burden by half so she immediatly packed up and moved back to OR after being gone a year. Since then I've been caring for the child everyday and even weeks at a time and I'm awesome at it but I can see that at some point I'm going to lose my home.

Never get married, never have kids, never treat a woman like she deserves to be cared for. The level of narcissism that you will end up dealing with will be beyond logical. The idea that you are going to pick the right woman would mean that you believe you're smarter than the millions of men that this has happened to already. Don't believe the fantasy, believe statistics first before you believe the fantasy. The rules of the divorce and custody laws totally effect the way women behave in a marriage and you will gradually be exposed to nothing but hostility and emotional selfishness.

[Laize]

Lemme break it down. The issue isn't child support, the issue is custody. I have a support order for my 2yr old of 638 per month on a 42k salary. With that I care for my daughter every single day and I mean everyday. Every weekend and every workday where she comes to my place and I feed her breakfast, lunch, and prepare a dinner before I leave for work at 3:30 pm when my mother arrives. I get diapers, clothing, baby stuff, and any cheap toy on craigslist. My daughter knows her abcs as well as her lettersounds. She'll be able to read by March. I deal with her every single day and my ex-girlfriend picks her up at night except on fridays. If I dare lift a finger to fix this, not only will it take the court months to adjust my chsupp, but by the time we get around to the hearing she would've taken the child to a whole nuther location for babysitting and I would have day care tacked onto my chsupp.

The system isn't just unfair and unjust, its a case of where a man's children is held hostage even against the best welfare of the children. I recognize I must lock her into staying here but when she gets my request for a hearing($560 alone for the paperwork) my near genuis child will be snatched from me like she was before.

Here's what happened the first time. My ex-g didn't inform me she was moving to NC which is 3k miles from OR so when we had a chsupp hearing that is when I was informed. Since I didn't know where she lived and she refused to disclose her address I was required to find insurance within 30miles or 30min of where she lives and since I couldn't I had to pay an addition 149 per month which made that current chsupp order at 739, plus I already had insurance at her previous address which I couldn't drop till open enrollment at $45mo. So when I appealed that hearing, the judge agreed I should be reimbursed for visiting my child and that decision alone lowered my chsupp burden by half so she immediatly packed up and moved back to OR after being gone a year. Since then I've been caring for the child everyday and even weeks at a time and I'm awesome at it but I can see that at some point I'm going to lose my home.

Never get married, never have kids, never treat a woman like she deserves to be cared for. The level of narcissism that you will end up dealing with will be beyond logical. The idea that you are going to pick the right woman would mean that you believe you're smarter than the millions of men that this has happened to already. Don't believe the fantasy, believe statistics first before you believe the fantasy. The rules of the divorce and custody laws totally effect the way women behave in a marriage and you will gradually be exposed to nothing but hostility and emotional selfishness.

See? Marriage has no benefit for men. I knew this for a long ass time.