Current Child Care System Unfair

[Silhouette of Seraphim]

If this is in terms of a separation, child support should be paid according to the child's needs.

The family court system is so far beyond fucked it's not even funny.

No-fault divorce means women can divorce their husbands for no reason and collect permanent alimony for life. That's bullshit.

Alimony should last only a couple years while the ex-spouse gets on their feet and only if it's a divorce where both parties are unhappy, the breadwinning party initiates or the non-breadwinner can show that there was abuse.

Fuck this "no fault divorce" bullshit.

Child support? Should be capped at a fixed amount. It's meant for the well-being of the child. Past buying diapers and clothes and food there's no point in spending more. 5% of take-home pay or $200/month, whichever is less per child. I think that's fine.

I'd agree with all this. Depending on the age of the child, under kindergarten age, that an additional amount for half the monthly daycare expenses might be ok too.

Also, just because you're paying child support, doesn't mean you're not spending any money on the kid on top of that, before anyone jumps in with "ERMERGERD HOW CAN ANYONE LIFE OFF THAT!" Newsflash, there's also another parent who should be paying for their own household expenses, and half the care costs.

---------- Post added 2012-12-02 at 09:40 AM ----------

Lemme break it down. The issue isn't child support, the issue is custody. I have a support order for my 2yr old of 638 per month on a 42k salary. With that I care for my daughter every single day and I mean everyday. Every weekend and every workday where she comes to my place and I feed her breakfast, lunch, and prepare a dinner before I leave for work at 3:30 pm when my mother arrives. I get diapers, clothing, baby stuff, and any cheap toy on craigslist. My daughter knows her abcs as well as her lettersounds. She'll be able to read by March. I deal with her every single day and my ex-girlfriend picks her up at night except on fridays. If I dare lift a finger to fix this, not only will it take the court months to adjust my chsupp, but by the time we get around to the hearing she would've taken the child to a whole nuther location for babysitting and I would have day care tacked onto my chsupp.

The system isn't just unfair and unjust, its a case of where a man's children is held hostage even against the best welfare of the children. I recognize I must lock her into staying here but when she gets my request for a hearing($560 alone for the paperwork) my near genuis child will be snatched from me like she was before.

Here's what happened the first time. My ex-g didn't inform me she was moving to NC which is 3k miles from OR so when we had a chsupp hearing that is when I was informed. Since I didn't know where she lived and she refused to disclose her address I was required to find insurance within 30miles or 30min of where she lives and since I couldn't I had to pay an addition 149 per month which made that current chsupp order at 739, plus I already had insurance at her previous address which I couldn't drop till open enrollment at $45mo. So when I appealed that hearing, the judge agreed I should be reimbursed for visiting my child and that decision alone lowered my chsupp burden by half so she immediatly packed up and moved back to OR after being gone a year. Since then I've been caring for the child everyday and even weeks at a time and I'm awesome at it but I can see that at some point I'm going to lose my home.

Never get married, never have kids, never treat a woman like she deserves to be cared for. The level of narcissism that you will end up dealing with will be beyond logical. The idea that you are going to pick the right woman would mean that you believe you're smarter than the millions of men that this has happened to already. Don't believe the fantasy, believe statistics first before you believe the fantasy. The rules of the divorce and custody laws totally effect the way women behave in a marriage and you will gradually be exposed to nothing but hostility and emotional selfishness.

As your attorney I advise you to get a lawyer.

I know there's groups out there who are willing to help with the costs of getting lawyers for things like this, too. I'd look into that, see if there's any in your area.

Also, what's the custody agreement? If there's a court ordered agreement in place, she can't just stop honoring it and say "nope, she's going somewhere else since I'm getting less money now." (What a fucking cunt, by the way.)

Keep receipts of everything you buy for your kid, and a log of all hours she's with you, and bring it to the courts, ideally with a lawyer.

Your case is definitely everything that's wrong with child support courts right now.

[Orlong]

I didn't know you were gay. Is the UK army actually tolerant of that or is bullshit Christianity enabled homophobia.

It has nothing to do with being a Christian or homophobe (btw many religions other than Christianity reject homosexuality). It has to do with straight people not wanting to be ogled and looked at in a sexual manner in the group showers that most military barracks have for people to clean themselves in. Maybe we should just let men and women shower together so straight people can get a good look too.

---------- Post added 2012-12-02 at 10:27 AM ----------

You can get a house for $600 month? I'm in a one bedroom apartment (decent area) and just paid my month rents of $1570. I guess I could live in a crappy neighborhood and pay $1100.

It all depends on where you live. Move out into the country instead of living in Manhattan and everything wont cost an arm and a leg, plus you can actually have a place to park a car. I live in rural PA and I only pay $475 a month for a 2 bedroom house

[This name sucks]

It has nothing to do with being a Christian or homophobe (btw many religions other than Christianity reject homosexuality). It has to do with straight people not wanting to be ogled and looked at in a sexual manner in the group showers that most military barracks have for people to clean themselves in. Maybe we should just let men and women shower together so straight people can get a good look too.

---------- Post added 2012-12-02 at 10:27 AM ----------



It all depends on where you live. Move out into the country instead of living in Manhattan and everything wont cost an arm and a leg, plus you can actually have a place to park a car. I live in rural PA and I only pay $475 a month for a 2 bedroom house

Not picking on christianity, but its the go-to-religion for the US and Canada.

I think all religion is bullshit and needs to die out if we want to progress past a 100 AD mentality.

I would approve of women showering with me too. Might be a good moral booster for the military boys.


Infracted.

[Templar 331]

See? Marriage has no benefit for men. I knew this for a long ass time.

Marriage has benefits. Divorce is a pain. If your not in it for the long haul, don't get married and have kids.

[This name sucks]

Majad, you're saying that a 2000 year old superstition that enables homophobia, execution by stoning, mutilating their kid's dick when hes a baby, and fighting to have women who were raped raise the kid that results is ok and deserves respect?


Religious (or atheist) bashing of any sort is not welcome here. If you continue, you will be infracted.

[Imuhdude]

I'd agree with all this. Depending on the age of the child, under kindergarten age, that an additional amount for half the monthly daycare expenses might be ok too.

Also, just because you're paying child support, doesn't mean you're not spending any money on the kid on top of that, before anyone jumps in with "ERMERGERD HOW CAN ANYONE LIFE OFF THAT!" Newsflash, there's also another parent who should be paying for their own household expenses, and half the care costs.

---------- Post added 2012-12-02 at 09:40 AM ----------



As your attorney I advise you to get a lawyer.

I know there's groups out there who are willing to help with the costs of getting lawyers for things like this, too. I'd look into that, see if there's any in your area.

Also, what's the custody agreement? If there's a court ordered agreement in place, she can't just stop honoring it and say "nope, she's going somewhere else since I'm getting less money now." (What a fucking cunt, by the way.)

Keep receipts of everything you buy for your kid, and a log of all hours she's with you, and bring it to the courts, ideally with a lawyer.

Your case is definitely everything that's wrong with child support courts right now.

I have a lawyer, a good one. Everything you said is already in process. My lawyer informs me that I need at least 90 days of constant supervision and that's what I have. My ex is dumb enough to actually hand me a copy of her work schedule at the same time to corroborate my list. But the issue still remains, once I put in my petition and she receives a copy of it in the mail, the courts will take months to have a hearing and she would've taken my child to another location for day care of which I'll probably end up paying for. While they can make it a rule for the best interest of my child to stay in my home, experienced lawyers will tell you that there are very few times that actual repercussions occur should she violate that court order.