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  1. #1

    How to not sound unromanticly when being responsible having sex ?

    Just got into the 2nd date phase of dating a girl (not quite together yet, but probably going there) and I wonder how to break the "not without a rubber until we got tested together" news to her without sounding unromanticly.

    In the past, I didn't have this problem because I usually went for very responsible girls who didn't mind that at all (usually went a few days/weeks without sex first so enough time to break it to them) or for short-term stuff where using a condom is normal and accepted.

    This time, I'm going for more of a spontanious fun-loving girl who can act a little carelessly at times, so I'm more worried about sounding like a timid "spoil-sport" than usually, especially since she might suspect me of seeing her as a "slut" (or something similar) because of asking.

    So, how do you usually break this kind of news (that you want to be responsible) to someone, do you even care about (not) sounding romanticly while doing it ?

  2. #2
    Fluffy Kitten conscript's Avatar
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    Just say you don't want to risk having a kid. No reason to even mention STDs.

  3. #3
    The Unstoppable Force RICH816's Avatar
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    Dont bring up condom use, just use them anyway.

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by conscript View Post
    Just say you don't want to risk having a kid. No reason to even mention STDs.
    Makes the "until we get tested together" part tricky, unfortunately.

    Also, she has an implant to prevent pregnancy.

  5. #5
    doesnt matter if she has an implant its not 100%, also i wouldnt be offended as a woman if i was asked about my sexual history and if ive been tested
    Last edited by DIDDUMS; 2012-12-06 at 01:54 PM. Reason: updated info

  6. #6
    Fluffy Kitten Taurenburger's Avatar
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    Don´t talk about using a condom, use them anyways. That´s how I did it at the start of a relationship or in one-night stands.
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  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by DIDDUMS View Post
    use one anyway? unless you want her to get pregnant :/
    She uses an hormonal implant to prevent pregnancy.

    Using a condom without talking about it sounds good for the start of the relationship, but I'm more worried about the follow-up.

    How and when should I bring the "let's get tested together" part up ? I don't want to use condoms every time for months on end (if the relationship continues, which would be what I want).

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by RICH1471 View Post
    Dont bring up condom use, just use them anyway.
    This. Just wrap it up like it's part of the normal flow of things.

    Quote Originally Posted by TequilaFlavor View Post
    She has an implant to prevent pregnancy.
    Unless you've obtained visual confirmation of this implant - just assume it's not there.

  9. #9
    Hmm, I don't see this ending well. "Babe, i really like you but I just want to make sure you haven't been where you shouldn't have been." Many people will probably disagree with me, but there is nothing romantic about getting tested together.
    Get a grip man! It's CHEESE!

  10. #10
    If you don't trust her, wrap up. Also, if you don't trust her or aren't comfortable talking to her, it's not going to be a far reaching relationship.

  11. #11
    The Unstoppable Force RICH816's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TequilaFlavor View Post
    Makes the "until we get tested together" part tricky, unfortunately.

    Also, she has an implant to prevent pregnancy.
    Never trust any woman when she claims she is on birth control, things can always go wrong, so take matters into your own hands *giggles* and use condoms.

  12. #12
    Quote Originally Posted by poser765 View Post
    Hmm, I don't see this ending well. "Babe, i really like you but I just want to make sure you haven't been where you shouldn't have been." Many people will probably disagree with me, but there is nothing romantic about getting tested together.
    Exactly, that's why I'm concerned about HOW and WHEN I bring it up.

    Any tips in that regard, guys and girls ?

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by TequilaFlavor View Post
    Using a condom without talking about it sounds good for the start of the relationship, but I'm more worried about the follow-up.

    How and when should I bring the "let's get tested together" part up ? I don't want to use condoms every time for months on end (if the relationship continues, which would be what I want).
    Hopefully by that part will come naturally at some point in the relationship. If you've been together for several months and still don't feel you can have an open honest talk about something like this, then you're either in the wrong relationship or the time for you to take the condoms off hasn't come yet.

  14. #14
    The Unstoppable Force RICH816's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TequilaFlavor View Post
    Exactly, that's why I'm concerned about HOW and WHEN I bring it up.

    Any tips in that regard, guys and girls ?
    Only bring it up if she ever insists upon going bareback, but my advice is only go bareback if you don't mind having a child with her, things can go wrong.

  15. #15
    Scarab Lord Collegeguy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poser765 View Post
    Hmm, I don't see this ending well. "Babe, i really like you but I just want to make sure you haven't been where you shouldn't have been." Many people will probably disagree with me, but there is nothing romantic about getting tested together.
    No, I agree.

    Although you I am sure it is healthy to be cautious about such things, I've never once asked someone to get tested.

  16. #16
    Fluffy Kitten Taurenburger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TequilaFlavor View Post
    Exactly, that's why I'm concerned about HOW and WHEN I bring it up.

    Any tips in that regard, guys and girls ?
    With my girlfriend it was kind of random during a chat about sex and stuff. Talking about not using a condom and she brought it up to get ourselves tested. Though she's really direct when it comes to certain topics, which I really like. Like that, it's not really the way I'd advise you to use. However, during a talk about sex would probably work...
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  17. #17
    Maybe I'll bring it up down the line when/if she is in a "lt's talking some stuff over seriously" kind of mood.

  18. #18
    Nothing needs to be said.

    Just put it on....

  19. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by TequilaFlavor View Post
    Maybe I'll bring it up down the line when/if she is in a "lt's talking some stuff over seriously" kind of mood.
    I would suggest this, just proceed with condom usage, and bring it up down the line. Hopefully she will be sensible enough to see the wisdom in it, not just for your safety, but for hers as well.

  20. #20
    The Unstoppable Force Reeve's Avatar
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    Don't worry about how it sounds. It's standard practice. If he/she has an issue with it, then you just say why you aren't going to do it without. It's normal and not unromantic at all.

    ---------- Post added 2012-12-06 at 02:21 PM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by poser765 View Post
    Hmm, I don't see this ending well. "Babe, i really like you but I just want to make sure you haven't been where you shouldn't have been." Many people will probably disagree with me, but there is nothing romantic about getting tested together.
    Who cares? It's not worth it to potentially get a life-altering disease just because you don't want to come off as un-romantic. I think it's not outside the norm to just say, "I don't have unprotected sex with anyone who I haven't gotten an STD test with. It has nothing to do with you, it's just a rule I have."
    Met the ghost of Stephen Foster at the Hotel Paradise
    This is what I told him as I gazed into his eyes
    Ships are made for sinking, whisky made for drinking
    If we were made of cellophane we'd all get stinking drunk much faster...

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