Last edited by raechuul; 2012-12-06 at 08:52 PM.
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I just have to echo what a lot of others said in saying that telling your family is beyond messed up. So yeah, you talked it out with him at work and all that; and now he wants to speak to your family directly. Guess what? He has to. He truly has no choice in the matter unless he wants to look as terrible as possible to them. At least by talking to them directly, he can save a little face by coming across as a man who can own up what he does and maybe attempt to explain the situation away. But in the end, you said your family is a porn = pure evil, no exceptions kind of family. So the man has to basically prostrate himself before your judgmental family, humiliate himself, and still walk away looking like a whipped puppy and an evil sicko in your family's eyes. Lose/lose situation there. This situation was handled terribly.
Thank god you guys are moving out into your own place. Although I know that if I were him, I would never want to see your family again. And truly, like many others said, I don't know how much I'd want you to know about what I do in the future for fear that it would end up everyone I know's business.
Child watching a father figure watching something on his laptop and playing with his wee-wee isn't really an emotionally charged / consequential event that would be remembered
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I don't get why there's so much emphasis on keeping this a secret. If the child had seen the porn and tried to copy it, and the grandparents observed that, they'd be blaming it on sexual abuse. Now there is a rational explanation for that behavior. You only have a right to privacy to the extent that other people aren't getting hurt. What if the brother had seen some other off-the-mark behavior from the husband, and with the porn they could put 2 and 2 together and realize he was abusing the child? Should they both required to keep it secret so as not to hurt his feelings? Give me a break, he's a grown ass man, he can take the consequences of HIS ACTIONS.
Anyway, the family doesn't have their pedo pitchforks out, calm down. Getting a little embarrassed over porn is a stupid reason to divorce your wife, especially when she was legitimately freaked out. If you can't emphasize with another person's point of view, marriage isn't for you anyway.
If she were to see it more than once and maybe try to copy whatever she saw on her dads screen with her friends, Maybe it sounds unlikely but children don't really have to know what something is about to start doing it.
And OP if there is the urge to watch porn while watching the little one, I can only think of there being problems in your sex life? That is private ofcourse but i can't help to think otherwise.
I guess its something he does without thinking as it needs to happen then and there. I don't think thats healthy.
Last edited by Taru; 2012-12-07 at 07:02 AM.