Ohh hell no, People just dont move up in my house, not dont happen like that. And I say Come back to cali bro, Much safer here and plus we got beach babes. And there may be some loopy ones But eventually you will find ur one.
Wonderful Sig made by Torgerd
She has been in charge the whole time & any sort of 'relationship' has been in her hands only, has been her decisions only & she used it all to her advantage whenever she needed you & pushed you away when she didn't. No relationships work out in a positive way when one person has total complete control of it & creates & enforces all 'rules', which they change at their own convenience anyway.
You deserve SO much better & deep down you know it. You think you love her but what you actually love is the girl you THOUGHT she was & probably led you to believe in. You have built her up in your mind to be the type of girl who would be great to be in a relationship with, except, she isn't all those sweet wonderful things in real life. She is confused, admittedly bad at relationships & doesn't care much for the heart of the guy who has basically dropped everything & rearranged his life to be with her.
I think deep down you know you can't stay there, at least not for her anyway.
Think out how to move or get settled where you trust you'll be happy & near caring friends & family. When the child is born demand a DNA/paternity test & maybe even before the birth speak to a legal professional in regards to what happens if she puts your name of birth certificate without one of these tests etc. Cover your ass PREEMPTIVELY. If you are the father of course follow through & don't judge the child for it's mothers' mistakes.
Learn from this & ALWAYS use protection no matter what the girl says (oh I'm on BC pills, Oh the dr. says I can't get pg, etc etc)
Lastly I will sign off with my usual relationship-based sig~ I wish you the best <3
Always remember this~ it is the list I live by ~ it'll help you too! <3
1.) Never date anyone you wouldn't have as a best friend.
2.) Tolerated behavior doesn't change.
3.) We teach people how to treat us.
4.) We get what we settle for.
She most likely has abandonment issues. This makes it so, when she starts to get close to somebody, she sabotages the relationship, thus pushing the person away before they can push her away. How were things with her father growing up? Was he a part of her life?
If you really love her, you need to guide her to therapy. But, don't sacrifice yourself for her problems. If you aren't happy, and you know going back to California will make you happy, then end it.
You are being taken advantage of.
She's basically leeching off you.
Honestly get rid of the friends, and get rid of her.
Keep in touch, but throw your feelings out.
She won't be returning them unless they are fake and used by her to gain things from you.
I beg of you to get out.
We stopped searching for monsters under our beds when we realized that they were inside us.
Tell me something, my friend. You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
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Any person who plays the "pull you in, push you away" game or "I wanna keep you, but I don't wanna commit" either has commitment phobia or attachment issues. Either they realize it and go see a shrink, or they'll break the hearts of all the people who they manage to pick up. You're not responsible and in fact not able to fix her, only she herself can realize how much she messes her life up. This kind of people tend to drag others down to the mess they create, so don't get caught into it, maybe if she sees guys don't fall for her tricks any more she will realize her problem and seek help, as long as they fall for it and she can keep playing her game, both her and her bfs / friends with benefits will end up in deep dung pit.
Maybe try flipping it around in your head and think what you'd expect her to do if you treated her in the way she's treating you.
You sound like a decent guy, move on - and wear protection unless you're certain you want a kid with the person because if this kid is yours, you now have a commitment with what seems an unstable woman. From what you've said, i'd say move on... for your own good. It's tough, but I would say it's for the best.
Last edited by Tauton; 2012-12-08 at 02:23 PM.
In the future, any time you meet a girl who has a best friend that's a dude, just know she's fucking crazy. I basically stopped reading at that point because I knew how this was going to turn out.
^ May be a joke, but it's true.
Shes not worth your time sorry, if she really loved you there would have been none of this "its not official" stuff... Well, not for that long anyway, I could probably understand 4 months tops.
No-one is judging, only giving advice back on what's given, it's the only thing that can be done and he requested it so... what's the issue?
This girl is a user and an abuser. She seems to use men and go on her way when she doesnt need them anymore. except she fucked up and knew she had someone who would take her mangy ass back.
Iv dealt with this type before, and its best to keep the happy memories and forget the rest. Your obviously more commited to her then she will ever be to you.... unless your looking for some forest gump style love where Jenny says, FOREST IM 40 AND A WAITRESS AND THIS IS YOUR BABY AND YOUR A MILLIONAIRE NOW WITH TONS OF NOTORIETY, I'VE ALWAYS *cough* LOVED YOU. Id let the door hit her were Im sure many a man has hit her, and live this bad egg to rot.
If the kids yours *learn to wrap it up jack unless you want a kid* do what you need to do as a man, but that doesnt mean you need to be in a relationship with this hound dog.
Your instinct is calling you back to Cali, I say go for it. Bipolar love only ever ends in pain. Quit while your ahead.