1. #1
    Stood in the Fire tidus4eva's Avatar
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    Never rely on Kafa Press

    I was wasted! Like totally smashed on Caraway Burnwine. I was so smashed my mount wouldn't even fly in the right direction!

    I swear I saw gnomes flying too, they were naked as well.

    The last thing I remember from the night was that I was stumbling around Lions Landing in Krasarang Wilds being approached by some shady characters, almost aggressive looking. One of them had tusks, the other was green. I quickly moved away from them but I wasn't allowed in the main keep, the guards called me a menace and a drunk, I swear to you, I'm normally a moral Alliance citizen, I very rarely drink like this. I crawled my way into the closest tent.

    It was shortly after that I remember I had a mug of Kafa Press with me. I feel terrible about the way I obtained it, I remember it so vividly, he was frozen in ice, I had to smash some of the ice away to find out what he had in his backpack - yeah, don't ask what I was thinking, I accidentally broke off part of his arm in the process. The mug is strangely still warm, even though the guy was frozen there for what looked to be months. Attached to the mug was a note which read:
    Code:
    "Dear Adventurer, for a hasty pick-me-up 
    after a long drinking night, this mug of everwarm 
    Kafa Press will sober you up faster than your eyes 
    could fathom. You will experience the boost for 25 
    seconds after you drink it, but never drink it more 
    than once every 10 minutes, you will experience 
    the most painful time slip imaginable."
    You wouldn't pass up free coffee would you? I didn't, so that's why I had it. Still warm, I guess that's why the note says 'everwarm'.

    So yeah, I was in the tent, I had this Kafa Press, I was smashed so I had nothing to lose. So down it went. Warm, silky, sleek are mediocre words to describe the taste of this "From the heavens" drink. I sat up quickly, my eyes blinked faster than normal, I shook like crazy for what felt like 2 hours, it was more like 25 seconds. But I still couldn't see, I couldn't walk straight, and stumbled around like I was still drunk. The Kafa Press didn't do as the note said, I was still drunk. I mumbled something that was apparently offensive to the company that was around me and I blacked out as Shildwall footmen approached me.

    The next morning I woke in the prison, they gave me a Magic Banana (somehow I fell over after catching it, I still appeared drunk to them, I swear I was sober by now). I paid my own bail of 28g, 50s and went on my merry way, know full well that I can never trust Kafa Press again to sober me up.
    "This is my story,
    It'll go the way I want,
    Or I'll end it here!" - Tidus (FFX)

  2. #2
    Scarab Lord Chonar's Avatar
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    Stool Cory Brah. I discovered a massive bug too, but I shot myself into its mouth by getting slammed in the back by an oversized Mushan, and then I karatechopped its entrails following the teachings of a hobo I found in the nearby woods until it died.

    But seriously, have you experienced the same lack of sobering-up with different kinds of alcohol?
    I've noticed not all "drunk" effects function in the same way, so perhaps it's only Caraway Burnwine's effects that's not cleared?
    "Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my comrade." - Albert Camus

  3. #3

  4. #4
    Warchief Saluin's Avatar
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    I don't get it...

  5. #5
    Super Moderator Darsithis's Avatar
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    I like the bail being 28g50s!



  6. #6
    Scarab Lord Chonar's Avatar
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    *snickers at this thread being reopened after being the only one that apparently understood the actual issue being brought to attention*
    "Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my comrade." - Albert Camus

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