Need some help here.Ex gf issues

[Fearnor]

but please don't think you're the (only) one making mistakes.
if she's arguing with you even though you stayed calm that's not your fault, it's hers. so please don't lower yourself and think everything going wrong is your fault!

Yea ofc not!i know that we both are doing mistakes,we are humans arent we? :P

[Skippy88]

Okay, so the root of all your arguments is she doesn't trust you. I would think there was an episode where you lied or you told her several lies? Is that correct?

You also said you love her to the point you would move to where she is. Does she feel the same?

[Fearnor]

Pretty much yea,its the root of ALL evil!(even thou i didnt) and i am 100% about it.But the weird thoughts in our mind something are a bad advicer!

[Itisamuh]

I'll never understand why people keep bothering with exes. She dumped you, she clearly didn't want to be with you, so don't talk to her. Move on.

[Deleted]

Too the people think that she still likes him...she is doing the complete opposite of what she is trying to achieve... If I were to still love my ex and we still talking I would just do the same thing I did before we got together, show that I care about what he does, have nonstop cheery conversations with him and just look for signs if he still loves me... All she is doing is pushing you away, so all I can say is she is scared and insecure and therefore pushes people away by getting mad. You got two options.

Talk to her and find out if she still likes you, and I do mean ask for it, be blunt. If she say's no, then take that as a final answer and stop conversating with her and move on.

[SirRobin]

I'll never understand why people keep bothering with exes. She dumped you, she clearly didn't want to be with you, so don't talk to her. Move on.

Yep, the only cure for a woman? Is another woman.

[Noviskers]

If you never lied to her (I am not talking about white lies like "I don't care where we eat" or "Yes you look good in that outfit") and she still doesn't trust you then just end it. Trust (imo) is one of the most important thing in a relationship and if she doesn't trust you then things won't look good for the future. Also if you guys can't communicate with each other and tell how each of you feel without one person getting mad and just shutting down the conversation then that doesn't bode well for you guys, it puts a huge road block in the relationship.

Also if she lives in a different country than you, you need to take into consideration of cultural differences that can play a pretty big part in things.

[Fearnor]

I talked with her she told me that last time her internet connection had a problem and we cant even be friends because she doesnt trust me!Only time will tell then what will gonna happen!

[SirRobin]

Oh to be young and have the energy for all that drama again.

[Fearnor]

Oh to be young and have the energy for all that drama again.

I am young and stupid! :P The only reason that i am going all this is the damn feelings,we cant push each other out for good and we end up from the start,like a drama cicle!

---------- Post added 2012-12-13 at 01:07 AM ----------

Too the people think that she still likes him...she is doing the complete opposite of what she is trying to achieve... If I were to still love my ex and we still talking I would just do the same thing I did before we got together, show that I care about what he does, have nonstop cheery conversations with him and just look for signs if he still loves me... All she is doing is pushing you away, so all I can say is she is scared and insecure and therefore pushes people away by getting mad. You got two options.

Talk to her and find out if she still likes you, and I do mean ask for it, be blunt. If she say's no, then take that as a final answer and stop conversating with her and move on.

She did all the above for 1 day,when i had some really serious problems with my dog,she was asking my why i wasnt talking and stuff,the other day,she was moody.She is for sure insecure,she has created a wall between us and she is soo narrowminded,she wasnt like this...and she is trying to make me jealous with a friend that we arent talking anymore.Mixed signs!

[Silhouette of Seraphim]

She's probably sleeping with someone else.

Doesn't sound like a good relationship at all, internet or otherwise.

I certainly wouldn't move to another country for that shit.

[Fearnor]

She's probably sleeping with someone else.

Doesn't sound like a good relationship at all, internet or otherwise.

I certainly wouldn't move to another country for that shit.

She broke up with her ex for me,they were living together and she moved out and did other things like this.

[Silhouette of Seraphim]

She broke up with her ex for me,they were living together and she moved out and did other things like this.

She says she did.

Actual results may vary. Especially if she's acting like she is towards you.

[Malkazam]

Well maybe this could help but since we are on MMO-champ this is video game related

2 years ago i met a girl online while playing WoW. This girl was perfect. She like the same thing than me , same music , same interest , very similar childhood ect. She was living in a other town. We start talking on skype/webcam then with meet irl and that was fantastic. We stay in couple for 3 years but she was very suspicious at the end. telling me i was talking too much to other girl in game and blablabla.

Then a days she told me '' i'm going to visit my sister , she sick i'll be back in 1 weeks '' Well when she came back i got a very.. very bad impressions and i was right. She cheat on me with another WoW player during this trip.

I don't need to tell you. At this moment my life was barely ruin. I cry for the first time of my life. I start drinking a lot of alcohol. I try to play WoW but without success. Too much memory of us even if i was playing this game for like 5 years. I almost think about suicide..

But then.. i told myself..''This is over dude, wake up''.. I stop playing WoW , stop sending her email/phone call. Delete all the picture i got , block her from Facebook and start doing thing for me. Doing thing who could make me happy , me and only me.

You know what i was repeating in my head ? '' i'm such a good guys , i done everything for her but she cheated on me. She miss something and i'm sad for her cuz i was great , too bad'' This maybe sound a little bit weird but its actually work.

I try to talk to her 6 month ago in a ''friendly'' way just to know how she was , her life and yeah like an old friends. She start insulting me.

Well.. Once again. Too bad for her that was i told myself.

Now i play WoW , I have a great life. A learn how to play guitar and i discoverer new music , tv show , books.

Its seem hard now but time make it easy. Trust me !

She broke up with her ex for me

She will do it again.. She left someone for you..

[Valiea]

Exes are stupid. This was answered in the.. 2nd response to the OP. Not much good has ever come from being friends with an ex who you might still care about romantically in the slightest.

[sugarlily]

Hmm,

I recently posted to a different thread re; relationships, & a nice guy ended up sending me a PM about my post & thanked me for it b/c it was helpful to him in his situation also.

We ended up PMing back & forth several times & I think part of my last reply to him will fit into this thread nicely. I will send him a little message & tell him about it, though I doubt he'd mind at all : ) I will not include any of his info/replies etc though, so a bit of this may sound like a reply to something else, which it is!

Still I think it can help this OP. I hope it does even though he sounds a bit off in dreamland/denial about her atm ^ ^
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OP, You deserve SO much better & deep down you know it. You think you love her but what you actually love is the girl you THOUGHT she was & probably led you to believe in. You have built her up in your mind to be the type of girl who would be great to be in a relationship with, except, she isn't all those sweet wonderful things in real life. She is both confused & confusing, pulls you in then pushes you away, angry & unwilling to have an open mind & an adult conversation about her distrust issues & doesn't care much for the heart of the guy who is basically willing to drop everything & rearrange his life to be with her ~very very bad idea~ no amount of "LOOK AT HOW MUCH I AM WILLING TO PUT WITH FOR YOU! LOOK AT HOW NICE & LOVING I AM TOWARDS YOU! is going to fix this or "prove your love"~ sorry :*(

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
================================================================================


Hi again ^^


I know & understand what you are saying in regards to

The problem with dating your 'best friend' is that if it does go tits up... you've lost both your head companion and your heart companion.

Nobody wants to lose a best friend, it hurts just as much as losing a mate. And maybe that means something just as deep too.

"Never date anyone you wouldn't have as a best friend."

I don't say that as directing ppl to ONLY use & cannibalize your friendships to search for your mate. Mostly what I mean by saying that is I mean that a prospective mate, a person you're thinking about having a serious relationship with should be somebody you'd consider having as one of your best friends & should be equal to what you personally expect, need, want & desire in your closer friendships.

A good prospective mate has many of the same qualities you love about your closest friends. They may not always be interchangeable, but the similarities, if you indeed do have healthy friendships!, usually outweigh the differences when it comes to a lasting healthy relationship. : )

I understand completely about being a Tower of Strength for others! I seem to be great at that too, but not always for my own self. I am getting better though. I hope you are too

It affects us so strongly because we CARE & we MEAN WHAT WE SAY & DO for love. If a person doesn't react in positive ways to our devotion, then we aren't meant to be with them. Thinking that if we stick with them through all the shit & are there for them no matter what, thinking that it will prove our love to them, thinking that they will finally see how good we are for them~ it never works.

All it does is allow them to continue their negative behavior. Actually, we reinforce their bad behaviors by always being there through it all. They lose more & more respect for us instead of seeing how devoted we are & in the end, well, it's just awful. We've expended every ounce of our hearts & for what? And you know what?! It ISN'T your fault! You just happened to be spending your love on somebody who isn't actually worthy of it. When you DO find the one who is, you'll be loved & appreciated for all you do & all you are.

You won't be left wondering "What else can I do?! What more can I say!? What can I change about myself?! I wish I was _____ b/c then she'd want me! Maybe I can buy her ______ & she'll see how deeply I care! Maybe if I just ____ she'll see how good I am for her! If I could break down her emotional walls, if she'd just let me love her we'd be happy! If only ______ we'd be so happy!"

It's not you, it's her.

There shouldn't be a huge struggle of proof or something to make it work! When it's real there IS no "trying to make it work", it just does. You're either both pulling in the same direction or you're stuck in a stupid, sad, pointless game of tug-o-war. A good happy healthy relationship isn't a daily struggle, it's a daily blessing; a soft place to land, it feels like HOME.

When you finally find the one that it all just easily comes into place, everything just clicks, you are at ease with each other & there is no struggling & wondering & worrying, there is just contentment, you'll see the difference & wonder how you ever mistook one for the other!

Is it always perfect? Of course not, but disagreements aren't game breakers. An argument doesn't equal moving out or breaking up. Nobody is trying to be right just so they can "win" the argument, b/c that means the other person, the one they love, has to be the loser. Love doesn't seek out winning at the cost of hurting, restricting or cornering & holding down their partner. Love doesn't seek to conquer & belittle, it should uphold & nurture & support. It's love & you're a new, better sort of best friends <3

And now that I wrote WAY more than I meant to (I somehow always do that!) I'll sign off.
I'm rooting for you & wishing you the best~

Lastly I will sign off with my usual relationship-based sig~ I wish you the best <3
Always remember this~ it is the list I live by ~ it'll help you too! <3
1.) Never date anyone you wouldn't have as a best friend.
2.) Tolerated behavior doesn't change.
3.) We teach people how to treat us.
4.) We get what we settle for.
Sincerely,
Sugarlily <3

[nightshark]

She broke up with her ex for me,they were living together and she moved out and did other things like this.

So she proved to you - before you even officially got together - that she is capable of giving up on a relationship to move directly on to another.

Hmm, I can't think why she might have left you.

Wake up and smell the coffee.

[Holofernes]

Some more info!I am 22 years old soon 23.Had some gfs in the past but none of em made me feel like this.We had daily contant with skype webcam.She is acting very immature which is really weird,she wasnt like this.She thinks that i am lying and i swear to god i didnt.At least when we were together.She seems to be hurt really bad!Thank for ur replies and yea i will stop the contact for a while at least,to let things settle down and who knows,we may talk later on again!Feel free to reply if u have something to say!
P.S Fixed the original post!

bob dylan did say it very exactly... The most mature woman will act like a stupid 12 year old girl when breaking up / fighting.

type "just like a woman" into youtube, and enjoy.


some other nice piece of music is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amqgUwIMjw4, an nice description of your situation.


and the following one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JygoPBjY0C4

every mans problem has been told with those 3 pieces of music.

small hint: its better to sleep in the same bed than videoconferencing.

[Brubear]

The nuclear approach is your best option. Cut her as completely out of your life as you can since you two obviously aren't working together. Whatever the reason is, right now you two don't mix well together and should both just cut your loses and move on with your life. It doesn't matter how much history you have with someone if most of it is spent trying to keep from ripping each others throats out.

[Deleted]

'dis what the pussyfolk do