How To Find a Female Friend

**mludd** · 2012-12-17, 06:15 AM

I've had a few "real" relationships, a couple of fwb, a few one night stands and a whole bunch of female friends through the years.

Right now I'm incredibly single though (new in town, no gf, only a handful of friends through which I can meet new people so far).

**Ranaas** · 2012-12-17, 06:16 AM

go out

be happy about yourself

don't be a showoff

be "yourself"

gg

**icedwarrior** · 2012-12-17, 06:22 AM

Originally Posted by Kisho

As in, she thought she was posessed by the spirit of Seto Kaibah's sister (who doesn't exist in the TV series, fyi) weird. =/

Dammit, I don't see a youtube link, so I'll just paste the words from Aziz Ansari's standup:

But the craziest thing was towards the end of our [roommate] time together.

He was acting really weird, and I didn't know what was going on, so I asked a friend of his.

I was like, "hey, man, what's up " he goes, "oh, he thinks he's possessed by scar, the evil lion from the Lion King " oh, yes, that happens. ...

That's all I could think of after reading that. I hope you're making that up...

I really don't understand the need to be in a relationship. Would I like to be in a relationship? I suppose. But I'm perfectly happy being single.

**Sorrior** · 2012-12-17, 06:24 AM

Originally Posted by Brubear

I have a girlfriend. I met her at work and was introduced to her by her cousin, who I also work with. Though she was the aggressive one and made the first move since I had moved states and half a year removed from a four year relationship with a co-dependent, alcoholic, emotional vampire of a bitch (and I'm being nice here) so I wasn't looking to be in a relationship. Personally I agree with the person above who said that you shouldn't be searching but instead should be living your life and trying to improve your life till you are happy and in a good place by yourself since that will get the attention of those around you and will cause you to react more favorably towards others.

However, right here is ALL the advice you need to meet a girl; http://www.doctornerdlove.com/

Seriously, go through and read the shit out of that website. I've passed that link on to a lot of my friends who were always the lonely nerd suffering from White Knight syndrome and all of them have a MUCH better outlook on life and are a hell of a lot happier now, even the ones who are still single. Seriously, I can't stress how awesome the advice of that guy is.

Problem is when white knight syndrome doesn't quite fit...I have SOME traits of it but not all or even enough to fully qualify.....For example i fully realize many things they cite as negative traits or things whit knights never realize. Other than that it also seems many of the supposed white knight traits are traits i have had since VERY early childhood even when i had alot of friends...I do just enjoy helping people reward or not....

And yeah I've read some of his stuff he has some points but overall i find his articles to be rather demeaning to the overall geek population. Whether they work or not i still find his ways of making points rather offensive and it covers all the most basic parts and not if say you have some of those traits but for different root causes or even potential exceptions to rules(which there ALWAYS are).

But yeah I haven't had much luck myself but then I'm a mild shut in who honestly HATES the idea of the "bar scene" among most other classic things(don't even go into hobby shops we have what ONE in my ENTIRE TOWN and it's small).

So yeah some of us have other problems then what he addresses.

**Bowserkills7** · 2012-12-17, 07:03 AM

Forever alone. Its hard to meet a homosexual partner when your social life is virtually non existant and dating sites give you weird matches. It is also hard when you have very low self esteem and aren't in a good place at the moment. Eventually I will be happy enough to start seeking someone out, but until then I am just a guy who has never had a boyfriend. :P

**Magemaer** · 2012-12-17, 07:47 AM

1-Be good looking
2-Be somewhat interesting
3-Know how to deal with people, especially of the opposite sex
4-Have friends and some sort of social life
5-????
6-Profit

---------- Post added 2012-12-17 at 07:53 AM ----------

Originally Posted by Seja Victrix

*high five* Amen, brother. Me too.

The worst part about being a shy and quiet chap is it makes you completely invisible to women, even those who might actually like you.

My advice for any invisible guy is this: make an effort and speak up, appear. This little effort can change everything, women will recognize you as an actual male who has balls to go out and "hunt". Hiding is not appreciated by them.

Actually i think that the quiet guy that speaks when he has to speak/decide to speak gets more respected than the guy that speaks all the time, no matter what.

If you're really just shy and quiet that's all you have to do: an effort. Now if you really can't do that, if you have some kind of phobia, you got a problem.

**Nasriel** · 2012-12-17, 08:21 AM

I'm not the best one to ask for advice since I seem to be in the forever alone category. Recently I was doing a course to get a job (I failed an didn't get a job -_-) and I met a guy during the course who I instantly clicked with and got on really well with. During the weeks of the course we got closer and closer and I realised that I really liked him after a week or two... main problem was he had some HUGE flaws. Germophobe, huge debts and gambling addict. Despite all of that I still really liked him... I tried to ignore my feelings but couldn't.

Today was the final day of the course so I took my chances and told him how I felt as I knew that if he turned me down there wouldn't be any uncomfortableness (is that a word?) lets just say I crashed and burned ROFL. I told him that I liked him as "More than a friend" and he turned me down gently with a "I'm not looking for a girlfriend at the moment" So not only did I not get the job but I also got turned down by the guy I liked. Forever alone QQ

To be honest though I'm glad he turned me down as a) I don't have the whole "What if?" and b) I don't think I could have dealt with his flaws as they are pretty bad. huge debt is one thing... but being a gambling addict and spending over $70,000 on poker machines is... scary but the worst point was he was so paranoid about germs he does not like anyone touching him and if they do he has to sanitise his hands... I can't imagine dating someone I couldn't hold hands with or kiss or even hug... so while i'm sad he said no. At the same time i'm glad. Stupid eh?

**kouby** · 2012-12-17, 08:24 AM

Youporn is a fine place to meet interesting boobs.

**Niteynite** · 2012-12-17, 08:40 AM

High School and college were perfect for meeting women and dating. Once I got into the work force, I was hit in the face with reality. I found that once you have a job and bills to pay, it becomes much harder to be social, or at least as social as you used to be. I'm now down to about 3 friends I see every now and then, so finding women through friends is limited. Meeting women in school was easy, because you both are already in a social setting, aspiring to the same goal.

After school, it becomes a different story. I found that flirting with women at work is a no-go, at least if you like having your job. You can go to bars, clubs, or other things but you have to actually have the courage to approach women and start a conversation out of nowhere with someone you don't know yet.

My advice is, if you are in school, take full advantage of it while you can. If you are out of school, GL.

**Nasriel** · 2012-12-17, 08:40 AM

Originally Posted by kouby

Youporn is a fine place to meet interesting boobs.

Those are no fun. It's not like you can play with those boobs LOL

Originally Posted by Niteynite

High School and college were perfect for meeting women and dating. Once I got into the work force, I was hit in the face with reality. I found that once you have a job and bills to pay, it becomes much harder to be social, or at least as social as you used to be. I'm now down to about 3 friends I see every now and then, so finding women through friends is limited. Meeting women in school was easy, because you both are already in a social setting, aspiring to the same goal.

After school, it becomes a different story. I found that flirting with women at work is a no-go, at least if you like having your job. You can go to bars, clubs, or other things but you have to actually have the courage to approach women and start a conversation out of nowhere with someone you don't know yet.

My advice is, if you are in school, take full advantage of it while you can. If you are out of school, GL.

Yeah completely agree. Besides dating co-workers is asking for trouble. If you break up or have a fight it makes going to work really uncomfortable. I know i've been trying to meet guys but having no success.. and the ones I do meet that I am remotely interested in are either not interested in me or taken/married or not interested in a relationship. I'm sure the guy who turned me down today has not had any girlfriends which at his age makes me kind of sad (he's 34) but some people just don't want a partner. He claims he's a hermit. While i'm happy being single, the idea of being forever alone by choice is just... unimaginable!

**sarow** · 2012-12-17, 08:43 AM

I met my gf when she went to live with a friend from college(they are both from another city near mine)...you know, they were one of those bff since middle school. I took a winter course at my university and everytime we were done with the class I would go and visit them, go out with them, etc, but everything was friendly, she didn't even come out as a GF possibility after a while, until i began to notice that i might had a chance on here. Bad thing was: she had a bf, one of those assholes that don't care about the relationship and they broke up. One day, we were on her room talking and suddenly we started tickling each other until we kissed....one month later she was my gf. It's almost 2 years with her and I'm happy about it.

BTW: WoW has not been a problem, yet...

**Powerogue** · 2012-12-17, 08:58 AM

Originally Posted by theredviola

I hear chloroform works well.

I sure am glad I have the internet to give unquestionably high quality advice on the matter. What would I do without you guys?

**NatePsychotic** · 2012-12-17, 09:02 AM

I found my girlfriend doing what I usually do, don't go looking for it because you're most likely going to find somebody that doesn't share the same interests as you. These two next words are extremely important, be patient.

**Darksoldierr** · 2012-12-17, 09:02 AM

Forever alone, till the end of times

**Niteynite** · 2012-12-17, 10:25 AM

Originally Posted by Darksoldierr

Forever alone, till the end of times

Well yes, with that attitude...

**naturestorm** · 2012-12-17, 10:33 AM

Originally Posted by Nasriel

I'm sure the guy who turned me down today has not had any girlfriends which at his age makes me kind of sad (he's 34) but some people just don't want a partner. He claims he's a hermit. While i'm happy being single, the idea of being forever alone by choice is just... unimaginable!

That sucks. Btw is valid the idea that a girl/woman knows in the first 30s if the potential new male friend is BF material? Have had limited experience but for me at least seems valid. In high-school I was a bit of the "rebound" guy, tho was a bit of a geek and the girls in my class always wanted to be the best so they turned to me for afterschool or just general school help. Also I would be the guy that ended up with them at some parties when they broke up with their boyfriend, hence the "rebound" guy.

**Rickz** · 2012-12-17, 02:58 PM

Met my exes through friends, school, work and the interwebs.

I don't really like meeting girls when going out for some reason. I'm not that one night stand kind of guy.
( I know that meeting people when going out doesn't always result in a one night stand, but still )

Like some people said before, don't search for one. You'll come across someone eventually.

**Fahrenheit** · 2012-12-17, 04:10 PM

Originally Posted by Funt Case

Best advice is don't go searching for it. Live your normal daily life, go where you usually go, do what you usually do. That way you meet a girl/boy in a place you visit or have hobbies at, and a good chance they're interested in the same area. Also makes it easier to make small talk and plan activity's if it goes well. This gives people the illusion that you have confidence (if you don't) since you know what you like and where you like to go and have a sense of direction.

I'd wager that doesn't work out so well, given that a large number of the posters here spend their evening in front of PC monitors playing video games and when they aren't they consider themselves "loners" as noted in the poll a couple of weeks ag where the overwhelming majority here stated as such.

Anyways... OP get out from behind the monitor and go do stuff you wouldn't normally do. At best, you find a chick who you would've never met otherwise and you'd hit it off, at worst, you discover something you enjoy that you just never attempted before.

**Darksoldierr** · 2012-12-17, 04:43 PM

Originally Posted by Niteynite

Well yes, with that attitude...

Hmm Hmm, it is easier to tell someone to change than to change yourself

**Rafax** · 2012-12-17, 04:46 PM

Stop searching the person for you will eventualy show up, I emt my gf half a year ago in a metal concert that we went to and it was totaly by surprise : D

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