Ok well need to find out if what i go through is normal so im going to post the whole story here to see if anyone else has dealt woth this.
I was in high school, im 29 now, I was dating a girl not from my high school so noone really knew her. I had a girl i was interested in that i went to school with.and went out a few times with her behind my girls back, but nothing ever got physical but we were close and she knew i was dating the other girl. I was very much so more attracted to the friend. I ended up getting my girl at the time pregnant so you can infer i felt obligated to stay with her even though i didnt want to. My girl found out i was hanging out with this other girl and called my best friend to find out what was going on. He told her nothing that we just hang out. Well needless to say i was told not to go near this girl even though she was in well my clique of friends. When the other girls i hung around with heard what was going on they laid into her baddly. They basically shunned her to the point that she didnt even want to go to school. I took this about as hard as she did because i had genuine feelings for her but felt i had to stay on the side of the pregnant girl. Well needless to say nlne of it worked out. I ended up leaving my girl after i went to college and had a few more relationships, but never was able to talk to the other girl again.
I am now married 8 years with the same woman for 10 years. Yet its about weekly i feel degected still by what i did to this girl. Ive wrestled with it for years feeling like i could have done more. Ive made attempts to apologize in the past but she still held a real sour taste in her mouth for me. I guess im still paying for letting what happened happen as punnishment for it but i still for some reason cant get over it sincethe feelings were so strong for this girl. Has anyone else dealt with something like this? I mean i dont want to pursue this girl but i think about her often wonder how shes doing and i havent seen her in 11 years. Last time i saw her i tried to apologize and got smacked for it. It just eats away at me still as the biggest mistake of my life and i dont know why.
---------- Post added 2012-12-14 at 12:19 PM ----------
Damn phone always screws up my spelling.