"Best Friend"

[Quirin]

Okay so, I've been hanging out with this girl a lot recently and she has told me a couple of times that she considers me her best friend. She also recently broke up with her boyfriend and feels better when we talk. Will I ever be able to have a relationship with her if I wanted too? Or am I screwed?

[Buxton McGraff]

A lot of my past girlfriends referred to me as their "Bestie" and "best friend" before we got together/hooked up. A lot of the times it's a term of endearment or a weird way for them to flirt. It's possible however, that you've already been "friend zoned" without even realizing it. Hopefully that's not the case, I'd say if you're truly interested in perusing her romantically, make that more clear.

[Hypro]

IMO you have been friend zoned... But you can always try...

[Kardezar]

A lot of my past girlfriends referred to me as their "Bestie" and "best friend" before we got together/hooked up. A lot of the times it's a term of endearment or a weird way for them to flirt. It's possible however, that you've already been "friend zoned" without even realizing it. Hopefully that's not the case, I'd say if you're truly interested in perusing her romantically, make that more clear.

I agree with this guy. But the problem is "past girlfriends". If she considers you a best friend and she gets out of a long term relationship to be with or sleep with you, then you'd be lucky to get more than a rebound relationship. You can go for it, and probably will, just hope that your friendship is strong enough to endure going back to the way things are now. That's assuming what you want from this girl is more than just sex.

[Rukentuts]

You sound deep in the friendzone. It's best not to force any conversation about a relationship if you value your friendship.

[Spectral]

Unless you're terribly bad at reading people, you should be able to figure this out on your own. To be blunt, it sounds like you're fairly young. Just bring it up, see what she says.

[Riidii]

If you feel like you are getting "friend zoned", you need to start getting more physical and see what happens.

Start slowly.

[Rukentuts]

If you feel like you are getting "friend zoned", you need to start getting more physical and see what happens.

Start slowly.

With all due respect this is a terrible idea. If she's against it and you go to far, you will end your friendship in one big hurry.

If you have to get it off your chest, talk.

[Riidii]

With all due respect this is a terrible idea. If she's against it and you go to far, you will end your friendship in one big hurry.

If you have to get it off your chest, talk.

I disagree.

Just basic touching and flirting is a good way to start.

It expresses your intentions. If you get a bad reaction, then it's obvious where the relationship stands.

But yes, don't go crazy.

[Spectral]

If you feel like you are getting "friend zoned", you need to start getting more physical and see what happens.

This sounds kind of rapey. If you don't see any indicators that she's interested in physical contact, it's most likely because she's not interested in physical contact. People that want to be touched lean into the person they want to touch them.

edit - To be totally clear, I'm using "rapey" as a flip adjective to describe unwanted contact, not literally referring to rape. Sorry if that misses the mark and offends anyone.

[Rukentuts]

This sounds kind of rapey. If you don't see any indicators that she's interested in physical contact, it's most likely because she's not interested in physical contact. People that want to be touched lean into the person they want to touch them.

Yeah, sit next to her and if she leans into you....there's a sign.

[Seegtease]

You're better off asking someone who knows you personally.

Sometimes best friends are just friends, sometimes they are potentially more. It depends on the person. You won't get any useful answers here unless you give us a large amount of details, and even then probably nothing useful.

[starkey]

Your a kiwi give her 6 cans of RTD's and your in with a grin.

[Letmesleep]

Okay so, I've been hanging out with this girl a lot recently and she has told me a couple of times that she considers me her best friend. She also recently broke up with her boyfriend and feels better when we talk. Will I ever be able to have a relationship with her if I wanted too? Or am I screwed?

Be careful not to be someone's rebound. When relationships end, often people try to fill the hole the last one left behind as quickly as possible regardless of whether or not you're good for each other or if they even like you that much. You're providing an emotional outlet for her right now which is something she'll capitalize on, but that doesn't necessarily mean she's ready to jump back into a relationship. There's some pretty ugly things that can happen with rebounds because while you may be emotionally ready, she's still a mess. If she's still talking about her boyfriend, I wouldn't advise pursuing a relationship.

What Everything Nice said is true though; if you want to be more than friends with her, make your intentions clear. Don't try to mask yourself as a friend when you really just want to be with her, that way no one feels betrayed in the end.

[Spectral]

When relationships end, often people try to fill the hole

This comes to mind.


Really though, you're absolutely right.

[Jazara]

I'm going to tell you, as a woman, what I've done and felt in the past when I was in her shoes. When I would break up with a guy I usually wasn't ready to jump into another relationship...but I wanted some kind of male companionship, be it platonic or not. What she may be feeling is very close to you because you're filling the emotional void that her break up has caused. This may or may not lead to a desire for intimacy beyond simple friendship, but usually it does. If you pursue her you may end up as a rebound and possibly ruining your friendship. I would wait it out, if I were you. Express your feelings that you want to be more than friends, but tell her you want to wait if she wants to take it further, as well. That's just my two cents.

[Letmesleep]

This comes to mind.


Really though, you're absolutely right.

Good ol' Quagmire, always there to make a statement sexual
Gracias

[Snugglees]

As long as you don't get to the bfflxoxo rank then you're fine bro.

[PizzaSHARK]

Okay so, I've been hanging out with this girl a lot recently and she has told me a couple of times that she considers me her best friend. She also recently broke up with her boyfriend and feels better when we talk. Will I ever be able to have a relationship with her if I wanted too? Or am I screwed?

You're dangerously close to being friendzoned.

Here's what you do: stop talking to people on the internet about it and just tell her, straight up, that you want to fuck her brains out. Well, maybe not those exact words, but you get the idea.

If she says she ain't interested, it's time to cut ties and move on. If she says she is interested, well, hey!

Whatever you do, don't stay quiet about what you want, and if she rejects you (rejection happens, it's nothing to be afraid of), move the fuck on.

[Sivick]

Okay so, I've been hanging out with this girl a lot recently and she has told me a couple of times that she considers me her best friend. She also recently broke up with her boyfriend and feels better when we talk. Will I ever be able to have a relationship with her if I wanted too? Or am I screwed?

You have to be clear with her that you are interested in a relationship because chances are she just thinks of you as a friend until you push yourself out of that zone. if she's not into it, then you are just wasting your time.