Relationships and Intimacy waiting time

[Spectral]

Granted if it's pure infatuation and overwhelming feelings and whatnot, it's ok. But too often I've seen it used as a "playmove" to hold interest, which cheapens it. Honestly, how much respect can you give to a person willing to sleep with you if you've shown mild interest (if even that) just to get foot between the door so to speak.

*shrug*

I like sex and assume most women do too. If someone wants to sleep with me, I'm not going to judge them negatively for it.

I don't know that I've had the experience of someone trying to use sex as a way to get into a relationship. Maybe a long time ago, I can't really recall. Mostly though, it's just either casual or the prelude to a relationship, which is fine either way.

[Magpai]

He just said why it isn't a double standard in his case, as he holds it to both genders.

Even if a man applies this standard to "both genders", it's still a double standard unless he applies it to himself. And you may say that that's obviously included in the "both genders", but the world is full of hypocrites.

[Rukentuts]

Even if a man applies this standard to "both genders", it's still a double standard unless he applies it to himself. And you may say that that's obviously included in the "both genders", but the world is full of hypocrites.

It he fucks her soon and then deems her a slut he is a hypocrite. If he refuses said soon advance, it isn't a double standard.

[Kardezar]

Depends a lot on age and living situation. If either of you have your own apartment, then not long at all assuming you spend nights together anyways. If you don't, say you're still living with your parents, presumably much longer because the opportunity may not arise as easily.

[Coombs]

It depends. If you go Dutch and enjoy just hanging out then a few weeks is acceptable. If you are paying for the meals and dishing out the cash, then don't get played for a fool. You either get that ass or you don't get treated like a free meal ticket. My general rule is pay for nothing until you get it, and on top of that I give it two (three if they are amazing) dates before I'm done.

---------- Post added 2012-12-15 at 07:53 PM ----------

It he fucks her soon and then deems her a slut he is a hypocrite. If he refuses said soon advance, it isn't a double standard.

Fucking someone in some arbitrary amount of time doesn't make them a slut, it's their whole presentation of themselves that does.

[Krez]

Having been with my fiancee for almost 11 years, (married next summer) she's the only person I've ever been intimate with. We waited just over a year to have intercourse, but we were young kids in HS. (Which apparently is grossly different compared to the HS of today; I mean, have you seen the way kids dress/act nowadays? I'm only 10 years out of HS, but it seems to have changed a lot.)

Back to the point at hand: If I was suddenly single again, I would be willing to be intimate right away. If the lady wants to wait a few dates, fine; but anything over two weeks, and I'd start looking elsewhere. Sex is important.

[Palmatum]

A couple of months at least.

I don't bother getting with someone unless I see it lasting long-term and even before that point it's generally to the point where we both know and understand that.

I prefer it that way to prove trust etc so they can see I can go without and I'm not just in it for one thing, can be trusted when we're away from each other etc.

Also a good way to see how they handle it as well

[Stormspellz]

A lot of people are confusing intimacy and sex here.

[Poppincaps]

1 or 2 months at the latest... unless I find her to be worth the wait, but that doesn't happen very often.

[Spectral]

A lot of people are confusing intimacy and sex here.

I don't think anyone's confusing anything, I thought it was pretty clear the OP was using a euphemism.

[Deleted]

Let me explain my logic: If I'm to believe what you directed a "this" to, then you go for it "as soon as possible". Tell me, what happens if you meet a girl and she has the same mindset? You both want sex "as soon as possible". When do you think it's going to happen? Probably pretty quickly right? But now that she "puts out" straight off, she's lost your respect. That's the double standard, unless you have no respect for yourself either.

It's sexist because (again unless you have no respect for yourself) you're saying it's fine for you to go for sex as soon as possible, but not the woman. It's cliche because it's like the oldest gender-based double standard for sex in history.

Did you even bother reading my post? Now you're just ranting on your own without a cause.

[Allarius]

Did you even bother reading my post? Now you're just ranting on your own without a cause.

It's a woman. They don't need logical reasoning to rant.

Infracted: Please don't resort to generalizations and stereotypes about large groups of people such as women.

[Seirith]

I'm married but my husband and I waited almost a year before we had sex. However, I was 14 when we started dating.

If I were single again, I would probably want to wait at least a month or two, depending on how many times we saw each other. I really am surprised by the amount of people that say if the guy/girl would not sleep with them within two weeks they will leave. I think sex is important but I am want to know the person first.

[Neazy]

There's so many variables that it's stupid to put a time limit on it. The only real answer is as soon as it feels right, which can be 6 hours or 6 months depending on the people and the situation.

[Letmesleep]

I grew up in a Christian home and community (I no longer subscribe to the faith) so my views on sex are naturally going to be a bit more on the conservative side. I have lots extremely healthy marriages around me, and I'm more prone to follow their examples because I've seen it works. I don't wait till marriage, but a committed relationship is a must for me. I'm turned off by women who just give up the goods at the drop of a hat. Love + commitment = sex for me. How will I know I'm in love? Well, I've been there before, so I'll just know

[Dacien]

After marriage. This would only work with a young woman who subscribes to my faith, since most secular women would probably find that antiquated, or otherwise unusual or unappealing.

Sex is a huge deal, a huge gift, something to be shared uniquely with someone you are committed to in marriage.

Those are just my views on the matter.

[Deleted]

it differs from couple to couple. Ive been in relationships where we took things slow and gradually escalated over several months. Been in relationships where wed bedded before i knew her name.

Things will develop based on how you both proceed theres no magic timeframe to stick to. Good luck with it

[Zafire]

If the girl wanted to wait, I think I'd be okay for a few months at least. Any longer than that and I think I would start to get frustrated. A good sex life is important to me. In fact the only things I think are more important are trust and affinity. I can even look past a female being unintelligent or ditzy as long as the sex was good/frequent and we got along okay.

I don't think I'd be able to live happily ever after with a woman that had a nonexistent libido. I have to know that side of them before I get too serious.

That said, I try to dive right in as soon as I can. Me and my current girlfriend had sex on our first night together and we've been together eight months now with no real big issues. In fact things continue to get better.

I also think marriage is one of the dumbest things allowed in America, but I'm not going to rant about that here.

[Kerath]

A couple of months I guess. Long enough for strong feelings to develop. Suffice it to say, there aren't many notches on the bedpost :P

[Aeluron Lightsong]

Honestly if a girl wants to have sex with me when we decide to date mutually, I'd say no. It's WAY too soon, Intimacy would probably be when we're both comfortable and I can be a very intimate person with females but I'm willing to be patient unless it's unreasonable.

A couple of months I guess. Long enough for strong feelings to develop. Suffice it to say, there aren't many notches on the bedpost :P

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