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  1. #41
    Quote Originally Posted by Alkestis View Post
    While this thread is an obvious attention seeker, if some dude from some random food joint whom I'm paying for a delivery gets on my doorstep and hits on my gf I'm going to get him fired or at least not pay him at all. How desperate do you have to be to hit on a girl while delivering pizza, even? Brb, just gonna go to the nearest coffee shop and hit on every woman there. This is an European PoV, btw.
    so if some dude is just walking through the park and hits on your girlfriend are you going to try and steal his birthday? Dudes be way to jealous now a days, you should be thankful to have a girlfriend that another dude wants to hit on.

  2. #42
    Can I put my sausage in your crust now?
    My Cracked articles, writing blog, and Twitter.

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  3. #43
    Quote Originally Posted by vizzle View Post
    Can I put my sausage in your crust now?
    that's gonna get someone fired. needs to be clever but clean.

  4. #44
    Quote Originally Posted by vizzle View Post
    Can I put my sausage in your crust now?
    Her "crust"???? Most. unappetizing. euphemism. ever.

  5. #45
    You:Would you like to try my special sauce?
    *judge her reaction*
    Bad Reaction: Pull out garlic sauce.
    Good Reaction: Brew up a batch of your special sauce.

    When she goes to give you a tip:
    YOU: "Oh, no thanks. Just seeing your beautiful face was enough to make my night" (I cringe when I say this one because of how horrendously corny it is)

    You: You know, I also deliver orgasms. (I know, you'll get fired)

    Usually I don't go for pick up lines I just observe something and try to make it giggle-inducing.

  6. #46
    Quote Originally Posted by Flappy View Post
    YOU: "Oh, no thanks. Just seeing your beautiful face was enough to make my night" (I cringe when I say this one because of how horrendously corny it is)
    I will say this to my co-workers if I get stiffed by a hottie.

    Quote Originally Posted by Flappy View Post
    You: You know, I also deliver orgasms. (I know, you'll get fired)
    nice, I might try something like this. "you know, I also deliver good loving."

  7. #47
    Quote Originally Posted by crawdaddy029 View Post
    so if some dude is just walking through the park and hits on your girlfriend are you going to try and steal his birthday? Dudes be way to jealous now a days, you should be thankful to have a girlfriend that another dude wants to hit on.
    The major difference is I wouldn't be paying the dude to walk through the park.
    Also, being thankful that another guy wants to hit on your girl shows nothing but lack of confidence, being proud of the fact that you need someone else to confirm your decisions or even justify them to yourself is poor.

  8. #48
    Quote Originally Posted by Alkestis View Post
    The major difference is I wouldn't be paying the dude to walk through the park.
    Also, being thankful that another guy wants to hit on your girl shows nothing but lack of confidence, being proud of the fact that you need someone else to confirm your decisions or even justify them to yourself is poor.
    How does that show lack of confidence? you have the girl, he don't, what more confidence do you need? You are not paying the driver, you are paying the company. if you want to be a douche and stiff the driver because he didn't know your woman wasn't single then have at it. the experience in my opinion is > the tip.

  9. #49
    Legendary! muto's Avatar
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    When they tip you, say "I haven't given you your lap dance yet".

  10. #50
    Mechagnome Taters91's Avatar
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    "You girls order the extra meaty meat feast? Because there's plenty to go around!"

    Either way you will probably get A: Stabbed or B: Shot or C: Beaten to a pulp by their daddies.

  11. #51
    " hey, would you like to go to dinner sometime?"
    if she says yes pay for her pizza, sit on her porch, and be like "now a good time?"
    Last edited by Senarx; 2012-12-27 at 03:33 PM.

  12. #52
    Quote Originally Posted by Senarx View Post
    " hey, would you like to go to dinner sometime?"
    if she says yes pay for her pizza, sit on her porch, and be like "now a good time?"
    This is really good. It is rather cold out right now and I don't want to invite my self in so I might just do this in spring/summer


    I can get one of these to take with me too.
    http://www.sears.com/shc/s/p_10153_1...4794993P?mv=gr

    ---------- Post added 2012-12-27 at 12:00 PM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by crawdaddy029 View Post
    This is really good. It is rather cold out right now and I don't want to invite my self in so I might just do this in spring/summer


    I can get one of these to take with me too.
    http://www.sears.com/shc/s/p_10153_1...4794993P?mv=gr
    just ordered it. cant wait to put it to use.
    Last edited by crawdaddy029; 2012-12-27 at 04:31 PM.

  13. #53
    Quote Originally Posted by Remilia View Post
    I would go with setting on fire via flame thrower.
    Pff, nobody has that kind of stuff at home, you can't just buy a flamethrower (I've checked!).
    Hairspray and a match is best you could do, not very effective unless you aim for the eyes


    Bread is the paper of the food industry.
    You write your sandwich on it.



  14. #54
    Quote Originally Posted by crawdaddy029 View Post
    How does that show lack of confidence? you have the girl, he don't, what more confidence do you need? You are not paying the driver, you are paying the company. if you want to be a douche and stiff the driver because he didn't know your woman wasn't single then have at it. the experience in my opinion is > the tip.
    Wanting someone else to want your girl, as in prove to yourself that you picked an attractive one, shows that you don't trust yourself to make decisions and thus lack self-confidence. You are paying the driver, what are you on about? You pay the company for the food, the company uses a portion of that money to pay the driver for the delivery. Without a customer you wouldn't be getting a paycheck. You don't just lose the tip, here the lack of professionalism would get you fired at the first or first few complaint/s but I wouldn't know how it works on that side of the ocean.

  15. #55
    Quote Originally Posted by Alkestis View Post
    Wanting someone else to want your girl, as in prove to yourself that you picked an attractive one, shows that you don't trust yourself to make decisions and thus lack self-confidence. You are paying the driver, what are you on about? You pay the company for the food, the company uses a portion of that money to pay the driver for the delivery. Without a customer you wouldn't be getting a paycheck. You don't just lose the tip, here the lack of professionalism would get you fired at the first or first few complaint/s but I wouldn't know how it works on that side of the ocean.
    Lack of professionalism? Pizza delivery is a customer service industry, what better way to show good customer service then to service your customers? In all seriousness I can see where you might get pissed off if the driver seen you then did it or if after the fact you showed yourself but he persisted or even harassed her if it was known to be unwanted, but flirting is (more or less) friendly and I am not about to start talking dirty on the job so any line I use will be somewhat light hearted and silly to (if I don't get a date) at the very least get a smile and a returning customer. I actually used a line last night on a girl that came in the store. She told me she was picking up dinner for her and her boyfriend but she thought it was cute and still stayed and talked to me for a couple minutes. I didn't force myself on her, I was just being friendly and she loved it, she will now be back for some more pizza.

    Oh and I didn't say you want random guys hitting on your girl, I said you should be proud of the fact that you have a girl that random guys would want to hit on. If you aren't you don't deserve her. Has nothing to do with having confidence in what you picked out of the litter but more for the confidence in yourself that you are the man she wants to be with, you show her the respect and love that she wants and that's all you need to do. Believe me, if you even have a girlfriend right now and she read everything you and I have posted on her she will most likely have second thoughts about being your girlfriend anymore.
    Last edited by crawdaddy029; 2012-12-28 at 03:18 PM.

  16. #56
    Quote Originally Posted by crawdaddy029 View Post
    Only lines that wont get someone fired please
    No such thing. Someone will eventually be offended. Maybe by a line you've used on 100 other people. Maybe not even the person you were actually talking to (jealous you didn't hit on their fat ass too). And all it will take to get your easily replaced self fired is a single complaint.
    Last edited by openair; 2012-12-28 at 03:17 PM.

  17. #57
    Stood in the Fire
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    Quote Originally Posted by crawdaddy029 View Post
    I delivered to a swingers club before, lots of nakedness going on there. unfortunately it included dudes but at least I had something else to look at.
    God I love the mentality of "Oh no! A cock! The horror, I must be gay now!"

  18. #58
    The Lightbringer malletin's Avatar
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    " If only you looked half as good as this pizza there would be a slight chance that i'd fuck you.. " though im sure thats probably more insulting than anything.
    "any man shaving for a woman should relinquish ownership of his testicles aswell"

  19. #59
    Quote Originally Posted by frequency View Post
    God I love the mentality of "Oh no! A cock! The horror, I must be gay now!"
    that wasn't really what I had in mind but thanks.

  20. #60
    Quote Originally Posted by openair View Post
    No such thing. Someone will eventually be offended. Maybe not even the person you were actually talking to. And all it will take to get your easily replaced self fired is a single complaint.
    This.
    And if I see the pizza guy (of all the people) hit on my gf (and your lines can sound kinda creepy if you read them in the right voice), I'll make extra sure that he loses his job. And I can confirm that it's very easy to do.

    For example, I remember that one time. I was at the post office, with some cranky employee. Apparently I didn't talk quite clear enough, so she dropped a statement, similar to "can't you talk properly".
    I got home, sent a letter to their HR department, quoting her sentence, time and date of my visit, and the name she had on her shirt. I also added a statement, saying that I was disabled (for all I know, I may be), can indeed not talk properly, and thus take great offense.

    Ever since I returned the week after, I haven't seen her in that office again.
    Last edited by choww; 2012-12-28 at 03:30 PM. Reason: Engrish

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