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  1. #1

    Need some Informative Information Regarding Realtionships.

    Allright I will try and not make this long but hit the simple points. Currently been with my girlfriend for two and a half years. The first year or two we liked having sex, we both loved it every other day it was a passion and we both wanted it. It maybe due because i am a very affectionate and passionate person. I love her very much, and have tried to spice things up and try something different but she doesn't show any passionate to me even out and about. I am currently 20 she is 19 and I am about to turn 21 and she still has the kid type deal going on which is fine. She talks about getting married I told her when the time is right and in the future same with kids as well. I would like to live life. Currently there is this co-worker, which I would like to get to know as a person she seems like a fun girl, yet Idk what I want. My girlfriend currently loves me, yet it seems like the flame has died out even for everything that I try to do. She has her mood swings which maybe a problem but I will always love her I just am stuck.

  2. #2
    I am Murloc! muto's Avatar
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    Every woman has mood swings, it's called menstruation.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstru...cal_experience


    I would love to have what you have, a girl that loves me. Forever alone =/

    Also not everyone is alike, just because she isn't as passionate or affectionate as you doesn't mean she doesn't love you just as much as you love her.
    Last edited by muto; 2012-12-27 at 03:55 AM.


  3. #3
    Sounds like you need to think about what you want and if the current GF is what you want. Don't ever, EVER, start a new relationship until you end the old one, if that is the course you want to go.

  4. #4
    Yeah I dont plan on starting a relationship and im pretty sure this girl isnt the relationship type. Oh and believe me its not her menstrual cycle that does this even though during that time of the month it does get worse, but she idk maybe has Bipolar or something.

    ---------- Post added 2012-12-26 at 11:05 PM ----------

    Well I know that she is not like me, but Sometimes, idk I just have to figure what I want myself maybe sit down and talk to her. Yet I need to do what makes me happy. i do everything I can to make her happy, yet sometimes she just cant be.

  5. #5
    You keep putting blame on her and yet you just felt the need to mention a "co-worker" in your story. Perhaps you're just looking for faults to get out of this relationship slowly; which is fine, you don't have to commit to her and it's acceptable that you want to "live life" before you settle down, but be honest about it. Don't lie to her or yourself.
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  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Annthrax View Post
    Allright I will try and not make this long but hit the simple points. Currently been with my girlfriend for two and a half years. The first year or two we liked having sex, we both loved it every other day it was a passion and we both wanted it. It maybe due because i am a very affectionate and passionate person. I love her very much, and have tried to spice things up and try something different but she doesn't show any passionate to me even out and about. I am currently 20 she is 19 and I am about to turn 21 and she still has the kid type deal going on which is fine. She talks about getting married I told her when the time is right and in the future same with kids as well. I would like to live life. Currently there is this co-worker, which I would like to get to know as a person she seems like a fun girl, yet Idk what I want. My girlfriend currently loves me, yet it seems like the flame has died out even for everything that I try to do. She has her mood swings which maybe a problem but I will always love her I just am stuck.
    Teens getting over their first love, nothing new. Think hard if your current GF is the one you would like to see next to you at the wedding isle, or even better ask yourself and answer honestly: Could i live without her? if the answer is yes then it is time to move along.

  7. #7
    You know those rose-colored glasses you see the world through when you are in a new relationship?

    Those go away. Not a bad thing, but they do go away, and it is up to you to either deal with it, or move on to another girl.
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  8. #8
    Well, so currently my girl friend has been on like a no sex or something for some reason, so today she wanted it, and I tried to resist and make her want me and say not right now like she does but I couldnt. So that happened then she wanted it again. I dont understand, women yet when they want it they get it men on the other hand no. Yet I am not all about sex, so I dont understand Realtionships or anything.

  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Annthrax View Post
    Well, so currently my girl friend has been on like a no sex or something for some reason, so today she wanted it, and I tried to resist and make her want me and say not right now like she does but I couldnt. So that happened then she wanted it again. I dont understand, women yet when they want it they get it men on the other hand no. Yet I am not all about sex, so I dont understand Realtionships or anything.
    The sooner you get it through your head that things will not be equal in certain (and by certain I mean all) aspects of your relationship, the sooner you'll be happy. Some things will be in your favor, some in hers (more in hers).
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  10. #10
    That is prolly always the case huh, She is an amazing woman who offers me so much, I think to myself could I find this in another girl "who knows" will she ever cheat on me, most likely not she is an amazing woman I would just like to meet more of them and see whats out there.

  11. #11
    I think you should stay with your girlfriend, get married, have kids, don't look at other women, and be happy with who you found, that you found someone who loves you so much. Sounds like she trusts you and cares about you, I think you shouldn't stop loving her because you're not having sex every day like you used to. Something you'll have to get used to, because after a kid, you have to go at least 6 weeks without doing it.
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  12. #12
    Mechagnome Liagala's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Symphonic View Post
    I think you should stay with your girlfriend, get married, have kids, don't look at other women, and be happy with who you found, that you found someone who loves you so much. Sounds like she trusts you and cares about you
    Is the fact that someone loves you, in and of itself, enough to make you stay in a relationship? What if you find that you don't love them anymore?

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by Liagala View Post
    Is the fact that someone loves you, in and of itself, enough to make you stay in a relationship? What if you find that you don't love them anymore?
    You have to ask yourself why you don't, instead of just move on to the next one. Why do you think marriages used to last so long? Because two people fell in love, got married, and were devoted to each other. If there were ever times that they didn't love the other, they worked through it and stayed together, instead of just move elsewhere. The divorce rate these days kills me. It shouldn't be that way.

    That being said, the OP is still not married, and really needs to find out why he doesn't feel like he loves his girlfriend anymore, and if he decides he can't ever love her again, then of course don't stay with her, but that sounds like a mistake to me.
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  14. #14
    Mechagnome Liagala's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Symphonic View Post
    You have to ask yourself why you don't, instead of just move on to the next one. Why do you think marriages used to last so long? Because two people fell in love, got married, and were devoted to each other. If there were ever times that they didn't love the other, they worked through it and stayed together, instead of just move elsewhere.
    Did they? Or did they have the same problems we do now, but live with it because divorce wasn't an option? Did people sneak around with lovers on the side, fight and argue, and live generally miserable lives tied to someone they didn't want to be with? I think a fair number did. I think the best that could happen in an old-time couple that would be divorced today, is that they learn to just not deal with each other. They both do their respective jobs and otherwise ignore the other one.

    That being said, the OP is still not married, and really needs to find out why he doesn't feel like he loves his girlfriend anymore, and if he decides he can't ever love her again, then of course don't stay with her, but that sounds like a mistake to me.
    Would you want your girlfriend (assuming you're a straight male here, change the noun if I got gender or orientation wrong) staying with you because she felt like she should, not because she wanted to? How would you feel knowing that she saw your time together as a duty she had to perform, because leaving you would be wrong?

  15. #15
    I thank everyone for their inputs, I like to make people happy and smile and I can do that with women, make them feel good. Yet it is hard to only do it for one and only one. Yet I do love this one. If she is reading this I will always love her and will continue to love her.

  16. #16
    Mechagnome
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    Quote Originally Posted by Annthrax View Post
    I thank everyone for their inputs, I like to make people happy and smile and I can do that with women, make them feel good. Yet it is hard to only do it for one and only one. Yet I do love this one. If she is reading this I will always love her and will continue to love her.
    Did you just break up with your gf using MMO-champion?

  17. #17
    Lmao no just letting her know that I love her!

  18. #18
    Stood in the Fire raechuul's Avatar
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    I think you should stop basing your whole relationship off sex drive. It's important, but not on the top of the list in a relationship. You say you love your girlfriend and try to be passionate with her but she seems bored, so you're looking for other women as potential partners at your job?

    I've been with my boyfriend for over three years now, lived together for two. We both had very high sex drives until right after we moved in together. It's not that we hate having sex with each other, we just are both busier and only go to bed tired, and we both know we can have sex whenever we want. It happens in relationships. There's a "honeymoon period" which lasts about a year or two.

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  19. #19
    Stood in the Fire Kirse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Symphonic View Post
    You have to ask yourself why you don't, instead of just move on to the next one. Why do you think marriages used to last so long? Because two people fell in love, got married, and were devoted to each other. If there were ever times that they didn't love the other, they worked through it and stayed together, instead of just move elsewhere. The divorce rate these days kills me. It shouldn't be that way.

    That being said, the OP is still not married, and really needs to find out why he doesn't feel like he loves his girlfriend anymore, and if he decides he can't ever love her again, then of course don't stay with her, but that sounds like a mistake to me.
    I agree with OP if you think your girlfriend really could be "the one". For me, meeting "the one" meant someone who I can be completely myself with and over time have revealed all of my secrets to. In good relationships there will still be rough times, and that can be expressed a variety of ways including irritability, passive aggression, crying etc. It's likely that you're both unsatisfied on some levels, and if you talk calmly you should be able to work that out.

    If you don't think that she's quite right for you maybe it is time to move on, though it's hard to know these things for sure at your age. I have been with my husband for 10yrs, and when we first got together at 21 we had some really bad periods (yelling, less sex, etc). We just put our foots down and decided that our relationship was worth working through those kinds of problems by changing anything positive the other suggests. We have grown a lot as a result and we work through fights much easier these days.

    On the other hand I was with my ex for 5 yrs and we lived together. When I broke up with him it was because he was too controlling and I didn't like who he was as a person (lacked empathy and kindness). I was certain that our relationship wasn't what I wanted so leaving him was easier. I didn't want to be around him after fighting, whereas it's hard to stay angry and away from my husband.

    Ultimately you have to decide whether these problems are likely to change and whether they are trivial

    If you are considering the possibility that your girlfriend is Bipolar, it's worth taking her to the doctor. Meds can help enormously, and she would definitely be easier to get along with and likely have a higher sex drive if properly treated.

    Edit: ahh never mind, guess it wasn't really that serious.
    Last edited by Kirse; 2012-12-29 at 05:03 AM.
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  20. #20
    She could just have Seasonal affective disorder. Heres some info if u wanna read up on it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seasona...ctive_disorder

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