View Poll Results: Is it wrong to re-marry after your spouse dies?

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  • Yes.

    8 4.04%
  • No.

    162 81.82%
  • Depends on the circumstances (children, length of marriage).

    28 14.14%
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  1. #1
    High Overlord Namso's Avatar
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    Is it wrong for someone to re-marry after their spouse dies?

    Say a couple had a great marriage. They were happy and heavily in love. Now, an unfortunate death occurs and one is left alone. Is it morally incorrect for an individual to seek true love, again? If children were in the picture, would that change? How about the length of marriage? Does the "until death do us part" play a role?

    For me, I cannot see myself spending time with another woman until my own death. I know I won't be happy and will never be satisfied. I just find it so wrong to betray someone that you love like that, especially if you have children.

    Where do you stand?

  2. #2
    Legendary! Blueobelisk's Avatar
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    Depends on my marriage and how I felt about the woman, and my age. It's kind of unreasonable for someone like 25-30 to go the rest of their lives without a

    Wait. Are you saying don't marry or don't go into another relationship?

  3. #3
    High Overlord Namso's Avatar
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    Well won't relationships eventually lead into a marriage?

  4. #4
    It's not morally wrong to seek love, even if you lost someone you loved.

    People who lost someone they loved won't find another person to love for some time, surely not after an year or maybe even more time.

  5. #5
    Epic! Tokru's Avatar
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    No problem at all.

    Don't let the death of one person lead to never ending suffering of another one.

    Of course that doesn't mean you should jump in joy on the street the next day after your spouse died. But beeing miserabel forever is helping no one. Especially when you don't believe in some form of afterlife where you will meet again.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Namso View Post
    Well won't relationships eventually lead into a marriage?
    I think it doesn't really matter if it leads into a marriage or not.

    There's nothing morally wrong with falling in love with someone else if you lost the person you love.

    But most people won't even fall in love after a great deal of time, because they think it's wrong or disrespectful towards the loved on they lost.

  7. #7
    Immortal Winter Blossom's Avatar
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    I don't see how this would be wrong...at all.

    Can someone who does think it's wrong, please explain why you think so? I'm just curious.

  8. #8
    Why should you prevent yourself from being happy again, because somebody dies?
    Sometimes friends die. Even best friends. Most find new ones. No paper on it, but does that really make a difference? Would that be morally wrong?
    I'm not religious so i can't see it from that point of view, if that's where the morally wrong part comes in

    Personally i would hope the person moved on if that should happen to me, instead of getting most out of their life. It's not like i'm around anymore.
    Everyone has so much to say
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  9. #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Celticmoon View Post
    Can someone who does think it's wrong, please explain why you think so? I'm just curious.
    I think the majority of people who think it's wrong are the ones who lost someone, can't really blame them.

  10. #10
    No.

    Anybody who wouldn't want their spouse to move on and be in love and happy again is selfish.

  11. #11
    High Overlord Quanille's Avatar
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    Why would it be wrong?

    If you happen to fall in love all over again, get married again.
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  12. #12
    It is not wrong.
    However you do have to make sure the timing is correct, for example if you have children, don't remarry within first week. And if you have children, consider the impact new spouse will make on them - they will be getting new person in the house (potentially with their own kids), so impact on children should be considered.

  13. #13
    Mechagnome Liagala's Avatar
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    One spouse died, but the other is still very much alive. I would feel absolutely terrible at the thought of my husband spending the rest of his life alone and sad, missing me and forfeiting all the happiness he might otherwise have with someone else. If he was truly happy alone that's one thing, but those people are rare. The only change I see with kids in the picture is that you take a little longer to get from dating to marriage. Give the kids a little more time to get used to the idea, to get to know their future step parent.

    Having a child doesn't end your life any more than losing a spouse does - neither should put an end to your chances for love. Allowing either to do so is being a traitor to yourself, and honestly to those you love. You turn them into the instrument of your unhappiness.

  14. #14
    Scarab Lord
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    Quote Originally Posted by Namso View Post
    Well won't relationships eventually lead into a marriage?
    I'm pretty sure more marriages end up in divorce than relationships lead to a marriage.
    've is short for have. C/Sh/Would've or c/sh/would have. Not c/sh/would of.

  15. #15
    Of course it isn't wrong. I'd only call it wrong if the person left behind got re-married really quickly after their spouse passed away. Give it a year or three, but otherwise go nuts.

  16. #16
    Field Marshal Bags-'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sevyvia View Post
    Of course it isn't wrong. I'd only call it wrong if the person left behind got re-married really quickly after their spouse passed away. Give it a year or three, but otherwise go nuts.
    That's a bit arbitrary.

  17. #17
    How could it be wrong?
    I don't know if it'd be for me or not; I haven't been in such a situation. Maybe I'd spend the rest of my life alone, or maybe I'd try to get a new life, with a new person, at some point. Don't know. Either way, I don't see how there's anything wrong with it.
    I'm pretty sure more marriages end up in divorce than relationships lead to a marriage.
    That depends on your culture, really... You see; it's hellishly uncommon for people in the Netherlands to marry the first person they have a relationship with. Or even the fifth, to be honest. People here try out different partners until they find the one that complements them best. Divorces aren't rare per say, but they're overestimated tremendously because a divorce is such a huge and nasty ordeal, meaning that they don't happen quite as often as people expect they do. So in the case of the Netherlands, you'd have to (pulls numbers out of arse) marry your third partner, and divorce thrice in order to keep the scores balanced... Whereas somewhere else, where it is customary that your first partner is also your first spouse (the whole 'I married the one I dated in high school!'), on average, people might divorce more (though it is only 1 more divorce, since otherwise, you'd have even numbers again, based on the assumption that people have a relationship before they get married).

    And in other countries, it is, indeed, customary to marry someone you simply do not have a relationship with. Arranged marriages are pretty common in India, and also in some parts of the Islamic world. Divorces do happen there, as well (but I believe that'd forfeit your rights to marry again), so you'd have more divorces than relationships. Possibly, unless you decide to have relationships afterwards that can't lead to marriage, but that would, at least, mean that you'd have more divorces than relationships that lead to marriage.

    Ehm...
    Yah. So silliness.

  18. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by Namso View Post
    Say a couple had a great marriage. They were happy and heavily in love. Now, an unfortunate death occurs and one is left alone. Is it morally incorrect for an individual to seek true love, again? If children were in the picture, would that change? How about the length of marriage? Does the "until death do us part" play a role?

    For me, I cannot see myself spending time with another woman until my own death. I know I won't be happy and will never be satisfied. I just find it so wrong to betray someone that you love like that, especially if you have children.

    Where do you stand?

    How can it be wrong? If you truly love someone you want your partner to be happy. So if you die why would that change in any way shape or form?

    Its down to how you feel, I can garentee you partner would not want to spend your life lone if you don't want to. If you want to be alone after thats your choice but there is nothing wrong with in time finding another partner again.
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  19. #19
    High Overlord Alberichs's Avatar
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    I wouldn't say it's wrong, no. My Uncle remarried after losing my Aunt, caused so much friction with my family as he did it so quickly, but we don't hold it against him and understood that he couldn't handle being alone. Nothing wrong with doing it at all despite what culture/religion may say about it. In the end it's a personal opinion and personal choice for these people to make.

  20. #20
    The day after the funeral, yeah that's wrong.

    But after a decent amount of time, sure no problem
    My name is Cernunnos, I will love you like no other, I have died a thousand deaths, each time I died I thought of you.

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