1. #1

    Seeking Constructive Criticism!

    Hello everyone! I am here to seek constructive criticism for my character concept. I beckon you to read further and leave constructive feedback afterwards, albeit I won't bother to read anything rude or attacking in nature.

    Character Page for Appearance/Referral/Etc.

    I have explained my character concept for Thaurlach to a variety of people from friends, fellow guild members, to random people I encountered who were willing to lend an ear. So far I have been met with 100% approval, yet I have decided to lay the concept on these forums in search of a wider range of opinions and constructive criticism. Alas, let us begin.

    Thaurlach is a combination of two people, his body once belonging to a Scourgelord while his soul belonged to a warlock, both of whom were humans. The warlock's story is the most fleshed out, as his actions have resulted in the creation of Thaurlach. What I am presenting here is a brief outline of how he ascended.

    The warlock in question was an avid researcher of the Shadow Council, seeking to learn from their example. A particular topic in his mind was the ritual involved in creating the Death Knights of the Old Horde, commonly referred to as the "First Generation" in our community. Eventually he does manage to learn of the process involved in the ritual, that of cutting out the intended acolyte's heart, transmuting the heart into a powerful jewel and affixing it into a truncheon. The truncheon was then placed in the hand of the body whom the acolyte was to assume control over, allowing the energies of the truncheon course through the corpse and animating it.

    The warlock, now aware of the ritual's harrowing process, set out to collect a suitable corpse to serve as his new vessel. This led him to accompany a group of adventurers, Argent Crusaders, and Knights of the Ebon Blade to assault the position of a Scourgelord during the final days of Arthas' reign as the Lich King. They manage to defeat the Scourgelord, allowing the warlock to steal the intact corpse, bringing it to his lair.

    Within the lair the corpse was fixed to a wall, with the warlock awaiting his ascension at the hand of his own colleague, who cut his heart out and transmuted it into a crystal, affixing it into the truncheon which would become known as Morsdator. The colleague then placed the truncheon in the Scourgelord's hand, allowing the warlock's energies to course through the body until its eyes opened. Thus Thaurlach was born, a twisted replication of the death knights created by Gul'dan.

    Notes

    * Thaurlach doesn't enter any of the capital cities, and that will probably remain true for the remainder of his existence. So any concerns regarding that can be put to rest.

    * Thaurlach wields shadow and unholy energy. He is a caster, preferring to lay waste from afar. Albeit with Morsdator in hand he won't have a problem with disposing of any enemies that approach him.

    * Thaurlach does not harness blood, frost, or runic energy. This was because the Scourgelord was member of the "Second Generation" of death knights, the ones seen in Warcraft III and occasionally in WoW. These death knights never harnessed any of the aforementioned energies, as those were invented purely for the playable hero class, or the "Third Generation".

    * Thaurlach still wears the Scourgelord's armor crafted from primordial saronite, in fact this was one of the major reasons the warlock desired his corpse. Armor that can effectively protect him from the Light among the other schools of magic is extremely valuable.

    I thank you for taking the time to read this post! Once again, please leave any constructive feedback you can conjure.

  2. #2
    A couple details you may like to consider.

    Where did he get all his info on the process of creating the original Death Knights? Access to this info would have probably been insanely difficult to acquire for a member of the Shadow Council as Gul'Dan would have had little time to record his success before his demise, should he have even done so. I'm not saying it's impossible, but you need to have a really plausible way for this to happen. Perhaps your warlock was a membber of the Violet Eye and found something in the newly opened Karazhan's library that allowed you to replicate the process.

    Why would he want to do this process on himself? Is his body weak? Old? Sheer desire for a stronger body? Did he test it first? Usually you don't go doing stuff like this without testing. These reasons could relate back to his life pre-warlock. Did he have an early life that made him feel powerless? Was his life great until something made him feel powerless? Is he just a person who likes to have power over others for no real particular reason? Before he was a warlock he was likely a mundane person with a mundane life, how did that change?

    Did you really replicate the process exactly? Perhaps there were some small differences. There could be a flaw, there could be simply slight differences that may reflect your own background or the likely second-hand source's own misinterpretations. It may also relate to the fact that the corpse you are inhabiting is already going to be warped and full of necromantic energies. All necromantic energies are not created equal either as these helped the Lich King mantain control over said Scourgelord.

    It would be nice to have more info on why and how he chose this Scourgelord. You gave a little reasoning, but it would be great to have backstory as to how he got the opportunity to accompany the assault force that made this target viable. Perhaps this chance also allowed for some inferior, but acceptable options even if the Scourgelord's corpse wasn't available. Perhaps you convinced some of the KotEB members that you wanted personal vengeance, and instead of stealing the corpse they handed it over freely.

    Consider how you are going to establish a new identity. That saronite Scourgelord armor is nice, but you probably need to pass yourself off as a KotEB or alter the armor just enough to make sure people don't mistake you for a member of the Scourge. Even outside the cities it is not safe and the KotEB and AC will hunt you as long as they think you are an enemy. You will also probably have to cover your face, or find a way to alter it. Although the game lets us wear the armor of the enemy, it's not realistically a good idea, not unless it is altered in a manner to make it appear stolen. Tabard choice may be a good way to display this in game. This is all assuming you want to not be mistaken for said Scourgelord.

    Last Question.... Why? All of this background is nice, but what's the purpose of RPing this character? Is it plausible? Yeah, but it's way over the top UNLESS you have an RP group into which this will work. That or of course if you're just trying to make a heroic background for the fun of it. RPing it could also be interesting if you play it in a subtle manner.

    Anyway you need not answer any of these questions on here (unless you want more feedback). Hope it helps.

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