[Funny] Upcoming fire mage changes/nerfs 5.2 and beyond

[Deleted]

ive been looking into my crystal ball and i see the following

5.2.5
combustion removed as it is useless now
a new spell called "OMG-FML" is replacing combustion and will deal 150 million damage
on a one year cooldown

5.3
fireball is now called "super magic funtime ball of fire"
scorch is been removed as it makes fire mages deal damage on the go
fire blast is been removed as it spreads dots if glyphed to near by targets (we dont want
people running around on fire in battle grounds)
Living bomb now only ticks once and when it reaches its duation of "one tick" it explodes
not dealing damage but gives the target a warm feeling inside instead

5.3.5
all fire abilities are been removed from fire mages
we feel that fire is what people want to play and we want people to try other specs
the fire spec is not been removed but instead the spells will consist of the following

spell of happiness
this spell will show the target that they love them, it has a 0000000000000000.1%
chance for the target to hand over loot without having to be killed

spell of boredom
this spell deals 500k damage but has a 99.9999% chance that it will instantly kill
the mage and will kill them so hard that they will DC from game

5.4
After all the changes to fire mages in previous patches we have decided that we were
wrong and we want to revert things back and add new cool stuff

all fire spells are back, combustion works as it did before our mad changes
ignite does more damnage

new spells are the following

Spell of the solar system
this spell randomly chooses a planet from our solar system (not pluto now ..)
a random planet will crash down upon the target dealing damage beyond belief
the planets are to scale and jupiter will cover you screen and make our servers
kill themselves

spell of fire mage F**K yeah
this spell will let people know you are a fire mage, when cast the spell will
kill everybody around you including you raid members, this is ok though
as no one else is needed to down the boss as you are a fire mage
you can solo this sh*t



we hope you are happy with our final outcome of changes, we are very sure that all other
classes will not be upset that fire mages are the best ever again

oh while were here, warlocks soul wells and health stones are been removed as they never put a soulwell down when you ask

these changes are subject to change and we dont care if we decide to change them over and over again cos we are blizzard and we have your money....so there

all rights are to Activison-Blizzard

2012

[Deleted]

Just imagine for a moment the things they could do with the mage as a class. Limitless possibilities. We don't stab things, we don't shoot at things with arrows or guns, we don't smash enemies, we cast spells and while there is but a one way to cut and slash and smash, there could be a million ways to destroy someone with a spell Unfortunately, we have become one of the more boring classes out there and I truly hope the WoW dev team has not adopted the Diablo 3 mentality - you will play as we want you to play. I can see them going down this road and that makes me sad.

[Deleted]

indeed, like locks we should be able to harness spells that would destroy the building the raid bosses are in, with one spell we could send naxx to pieces

esp warlocks, they should be able to summon ungoldy powers

its a shame, imagine if wow was an offline/single person game, dear god would it be great

[Moraith]

Due to the quality of writing this is, in fact, not actually funny at all. There are a wonderful duo known as punctuation and grammar and I sincerely stress you make their acquaintance as soon as possible. Regarding the ideas presented here; the humour, if any is in fact present, is completely lost on me. There is no irony or similar comical elements here. If I was to make an attempt at personifying the [funny] element presented within this topic it would be of two immature youths attempting the most extreme form of slapstick comedy, where inevitably no-one really finds it in any way amusing. Your spell names are also, for lack of a better term, moronic.

indeed, like locks we should be able to harness spells that would destroy the building the raid bosses are in, with one spell we could send naxx to pieces

No... We really shouldn't for the sake of continuity if nothing else.

esp warlocks, they should be able to summon ungoldy powers

Did you mean 'ungodly powers'? One would correctly ague that since the prefix -un literally means 'not' you are stating that warlocks should be able to summon powers that are 'not godly' i.e. powers not at a level on par with a God, which is exactly what they capable of doing.

its a shame, imagine if wow was an offline/single person game, dear god would it be great

Yes indeed... Imagine if the most successful Massively Multi-player On-line Role-playing Game of all time took up your ideas and neglected two essential aspects of its success.
Topics like this that are of a pre-school literacy standard are heavily (possibly solely) responsible for the negative perceptions of these very forums. Yet perhaps ironically I will be, inevitably, sanctioned for pointing this out.
You have posted a topic presenting ‘Funny Ideas’. Yet the only constructive discussion which can take place following this topic is whether the asinine nonsensical ideas presented here serve as a greater detriment to these forums than the abhorrent lack of humour in a thread dubbed ‘[funny]’

[Aethias]

@Moraith

It's the internet...don't expect great grammar or everything to be serious. It had humor, which was the intention, and it was easy to read. Yes he mean't ungodly, but everyone knows that. And as far as it being single player, everyone understands that WoW got its popularity from being an MMO. The OP is simply saying how it would be cool to have a game of this scale without the need for balance, making every class as OP and bad ass as people want.

[Moraith]

It's the internet...don't expect great grammar or everything to be serious.

If the general consensus is that a certain level of grammar cannot be expected on these forums then this only makes my post highlighting these issues all the more pertinent.

It had humor, which was the intention, and it was easy to read.

I must have missed the humour, although I suppose the extent to which something is amusing can be somewhat subjective I would be very surprised if any of it was in fact present here. I could also write something easy to read. That doesn’t necessarily mean it would enhance the forum either by the quality of writing inspiring others to take more time with theirs, or by the ideas presented within. Posting something that is easy to read should be a requisite not a commendable attribute of a topic.

Yes he mean't ungodly, but everyone knows that.

Had you of read the rest of my sentence you would have realised that the correction of a somewhat obvious typographical error was not the motif for that quotation.

And as far as it being single player, everyone understands that WoW got its popularity from being an MMO. The OP is simply saying how it would be cool to have a game of this scale without the need for balance, making every class as OP and bad ass as people want.

I fully understood what he meant, I was merely highlighting that the game abiding by an ideology exactly opposite to what he proposed has been instrumental in its extended success. I was proposing an alternative notion that it wouldn’t actually be cool to have a single player game where you played a character so unbalanced and overpowered that it removed any semblance of a challenge from the game.

[Soulstrike]

um what???? this thread is going places >_>

Hot thread id say

[Deleted]

[QUOTE=Moraith;19641380]Due to the quality of writing this is, in fact, not actually funny at all. There are a wonderful duo known as punctuation and grammar and I sincerely stress you make their acquaintance as soon as possible. Regarding the ideas presented here; the humour, if any is in fact present, is completely lost on me. There is no irony or similar comical elements here. If I was to make an attempt at personifying the [funny] element presented within this topic it would be of two immature youths attempting the most extreme form of slapstick comedy, where inevitably no-one really finds it in any way amusing. Your spell names are also, for lack of a better term, moronic.

No... We really shouldn't for the sake of continuity if nothing else.



first of all, i was a tad drunk when i wrote this

second, my grammar and punctuation is always lazy when it comes to typing, im not one of these people who have to type 99 words in a paragraph each with 4 syllables


if you didnt find the humour thats ok, it was more satirical than humorous

the names of my spells is wrong? its called satire

everything else? satire satire satire

[ShahinK]

0000000000000000.1% chance
2012

you know, its 0.1% not 0.0000000000000001%.

[Deleted]

guys just think of the minutes and hours you are wasting correcting people on grammar, there are days been wasted from your life

why are you on the internet, the internet should be able to see you wasting your precious time and tell you to stop, you should go roam the streets, stumbling whilst talking gibberish, then hang you head in shame


for the lack of decent grammar and punctuations you dont know if im been sarcastic or giving you advice


when the machines take over the world, guess who they are going after first? no not the people who dont care how people type


happy new year

---------- Post added 2012-12-31 at 01:28 PM ----------

you know, its 0.1% not 0.0000000000000001%.

i was been over dramatic

[Drynix]

Funny how someone as Moriath is on forums... If he thinks everyones grammar is top notch, well he is just a moron with a cardboard plate infront of his eyes... I mean people from all over the world post here, can't expect all to speak a non native language in perfection... I highly doubt you won't make a single error a every language not native to yours...

And on top of that complaining about it on a forum, if you are so dead centered on correcting everything... You gonna be here for the rest of your life. That's gonna be boring...

As for the OP, I chuckeled, so mission accomplished if you ask me. It wasn't just a stupid OMFG NERF MAGES KTHNXBAI, he actually made a joke out of it and put some effort into it. Perhaps not usefull, but funny nevertheless. And as he pointed out himself, it's called satire.

And for the Ungodly part,
The definition of ungodly is something sinful/wicked. Things that are against the laws god ones placed upon us. Something moraly bad. Although the word was still miss-used, it is so quite often and got a new meaning out of it. Funny how your defintion fitted in neither the real definition or the oftenly used definition...

Have a nice day.

(Ow and please, go on point out all my grammar mistakes, surely I made a few)

[Deleted]

Lol I like the predictions, and please someone buy that Moraith a happy meal.

[Basemath]

Apologies for i'm about to board the off-topic boat... Daedralord's posts, while only slightly ungrammatical, are easy n comfortable to read. They're clear. Moraith's posts, on the other hand, are a bit too complex :| Then again it could be because English isn't my first language. I'll take a wild guess n assume many others have the same problem.

Not trying to attack you, but i've heard teachers talking about a similar issue. When you care so much about what you are writing, you're in danger of sounding wordy and long-winded. How many times have we heard teachers saying "stop trying to be Shakespeare." N words like 'motif' are for showing off in a thread like this :| I bet not many grasp its concept. Your post would be more fitting if this were a thread dealing with Art or Literature.

[Shangalar]

You guys are being overdramatic, it's a funny thread depicting blizzard's usual choices concerning fire mages. Take it as such please. The grammar discussion is just derailing the thread which will force my hand to close it. The first ammendment doesn't say anything about grammar in free speech

[Deleted]

spell of happiness
this spell will show the target that they love them, it has a 0000000000000000.1%
chance for the target to hand over loot without having to be killed

2012

a 0.1% chance to get loot without killing anything? is this spell spammable? so op..

[Deleted]

a 0.1% chance to get loot without killing anything? is this spell spammable? so op..

oh i forgot to add on that one, yes the spell is spammable, however if you miss your chance of getting the free love loot the boss will take loot from you, so that new sha touched weapon of yours with the new sha gem will be his forever and ever

the boss will turn up where you farm, be it when you are doing you dailies just to rub it in you face, he will weild his new shiny weapon whilst tagging the mobs you try to kill, he will even go as far as adding your lost weapon to his loot table so other people can require your weapon


i know this may seem unfair, but when do we ever give things to bosses, we enter their home week in week out and slay them and their best freinds and steal their wares, then they come back to life, rebuild their home & buy new stuff just to be pillaged on the following wedensday


one day will come when we are all having merry fun in our favourite city a number of bosses will turn up and slay us all, they will tear our limbs off and wave them above their heads, they will steal our women and force them to iron out the creases in their new armour, they will take the swift zandalari tiger you have and get an achivement, they will start doing dailes, professions, lvling alts & palnting stuff on our farm, by then its all to late, we have become bosses and they are the champions ( i bags last boss in blacktemple)

think i got a little carried away there lol

yes the spell is spammable

[Basemath]

You guys are being overdramatic, it's a funny thread depicting blizzard's usual choices concerning fire mages. Take it as such please. The grammar discussion is just derailing the thread which will force my hand to close it. The first ammendment doesn't say anything about grammar in free speech

The OP him/herself is participating in this digression, in a way leading/controlling the topic of his own thread, albeit he was forced to Shouldn't be grounds for closing unless it escalates into a pointless heated fight.

[Grumash]

oh i forgot to add on that one, yes the spell is spammable, however if you miss your chance of getting the free love loot the boss will take loot from you, so that new sha touched weapon of yours with the new sha gem will be his forever and ever

the boss will turn up where you farm, be it when you are doing you dailies just to rub it in you face, he will weild his new shiny weapon whilst tagging the mobs you try to kill, he will even go as far as adding your lost weapon to his loot table so other people can require your weapon


i know this may seem unfair, but when do we ever give things to bosses, we enter their home week in week out and slay them and their best freinds and steal their wares, then they come back to life, rebuild their home & buy new stuff just to be pillaged on the following wedensday


one day will come when we are all having merry fun in our favourite city a number of bosses will turn up and slay us all, they will tear our limbs off and wave them above their heads, they will steal our women and force them to iron out the creases in their new armour, they will take the swift zandalari tiger you have and get an achivement, they will start doing dailes, professions, lvling alts & palnting stuff on our farm, by then its all to late, we have become bosses and they are the champions ( i bags last boss in blacktemple)

think i got a little carried away there lol

yes the spell is spammable

I will hide my gear in the bank.

OT: sad that something much more realistic but along these lines is probably bound to happen. 1.15 CM anyone?

[Euphrates]

Made me laugh well played

Want to see more 1 year cooldowns in WoW

[Deleted]

If the general consensus is that a certain level of grammar cannot be expected on these forums then this only makes my post highlighting these issues all the more pertinent.I must have missed the humour, although I suppose the extent to which something is amusing can be somewhat subjective I would be very surprised if any of it was in fact present here. I could also write something easy to read. That doesn’t necessarily mean it would enhance the forum either by the quality of writing inspiring others to take more time with theirs, or by the ideas presented within. Posting something that is easy to read should be a requisite not a commendable attribute of a topic.Had you of read the rest of my sentence you would have realised that the correction of a somewhat obvious typographical error was not the motif for that quotation. I fully understood what he meant, I was merely highlighting that the game abiding by an ideology exactly opposite to what he proposed has been instrumental in its extended success. I was proposing an alternative notion that it wouldn’t actually be cool to have a single player game where you played a character so unbalanced and overpowered that it removed any semblance of a challenge from the game.

oooooh we got a grammar natzi here who writes "semblance" him self, witch doesnt mean anything