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  1. #21
    Quote Originally Posted by Animma View Post
    My own situation right now is that of being very close to a girl whom I like a great deal. I've been honest with her from the start about it all and she's told me that she wants things to work, even told me how she wants to sleep with me etc when we meet up for a holiday in March. The only issue is her constant doubt and uncertainty about everything involving any kind of relationship, she's never sure and never wants to commit which at times has led me to wonder if I'm wasting my time entirely.

    My question is simply: how long would you personally wait for someone who has a myriad of doubts and worries about everything? Would you give them the benefit of the doubt or would you flee if they weren't ready to reciprocate any feelings right away?
    I think you may have to deal with the possibility that it isn't going to happen. Don't wait for her like some sad little pup. If she were into you, you would probably be doing at least something with her.
    Perfect example of why "community" forums are poisonous to the health of a development team. These developers are wasting hundreds of hours trying to stem the tide of incessant bitchery that would never, ever abate so long as these entitled, unfortunate human beings don't get their way.

  2. #22
    Moderator Kerdoz's Avatar
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    You should feel when it has been "too long". Not asking a bunch of randoms on the internet

  3. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by Animma View Post
    Mhm, nobody else is likely to be coming my way in the foreseeable future to be fair, she would be my first which is why waiting for the sex maaay be slightly appealing! Realistically though my concerns come up because being in this position can hurt a bit, it's one I've been in before with someone else and it absolutely didn't work out then which is why I'm wary of the same outcome now.
    You aren't sounding very confident. And if this attitude comes across to her, forget it. You sound way too into her and probably kiss her ass. And she's not going to respect that. Sorry, I'm not trying to sound mean.
    Perfect example of why "community" forums are poisonous to the health of a development team. These developers are wasting hundreds of hours trying to stem the tide of incessant bitchery that would never, ever abate so long as these entitled, unfortunate human beings don't get their way.

  4. #24
    Quote Originally Posted by Last Starfighter View Post
    You aren't sounding very confident. And if this attitude comes across to her, forget it. You sound way too into her and probably kiss her ass. And she's not going to respect that. Sorry, I'm not trying to sound mean.
    I must agree with this guy here. You must be confident and absolute. If she is your desire you must give her a plate of choises, and she must decide before you waste your time.

    Long term harm may be greater than the harm you'll have if she says "no".

    Long term: You'll live in doubt and you can't see or won't see any others because she might be the one. She could possibly be seeing someone else and is too afraid to hurt you.

    Asking for straight answer: She may say no, which may seem the more secure answer to her.

    To be short, you should see the episode 16 of season 5 of "how i met your mother".

    www (dot) youtube (dot) com / watch?v=sr59g_mOJ8g

    Your "gf" : Lily
    Teacup pig: You

  5. #25
    just dont carry a torch forever

  6. #26
    The Patient
    Join Date
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    As long as u are not in an agreed relationship, go and have fun with all the gilrs you want, if you still want her by march and she wants you too by then, give it a shot, if it doesnt work, nothing is lost.

  7. #27
    I was in a situation like this once and didn't want to say no because he was a very dear friend and I was afraid I'd lose him.. eventually he just forced an answer. I said no and we haven't spoken since. So I suggest you first make sure that the reason of her being unsure isn't just not wanting to hurt your feelings and hoping you get the hint eventually or just not wanting to lose you as a friend.

  8. #28
    Quote Originally Posted by Leothas View Post
    As long as u are not in an agreed relationship, go and have fun with all the gilrs you want, if you still want her by march and she wants you too by then, give it a shot, if it doesnt work, nothing is lost.
    This! Since you're not in a relationship, rules of faithfulness do not apply. Maybe you'll find someone you like better than her, if you don't, well you can always check back regulaly if she's made up her mind yet.

  9. #29
    Quote Originally Posted by LilSaihah View Post
    Probably about 15 minutes. They already know what they want, so you should be decisive in figuring it out.
    This sounds like the best advice really, I think waiting for someone to like you more is not that smart.

  10. #30
    Quote Originally Posted by Animma View Post
    My own situation right now is that of being very close to a girl whom I like a great deal. I've been honest with her from the start about it all and she's told me that she wants things to work, even told me how she wants to sleep with me etc when we meet up for a holiday in March. The only issue is her constant doubt and uncertainty about everything involving any kind of relationship, she's never sure and never wants to commit which at times has led me to wonder if I'm wasting my time entirely.

    My question is simply: how long would you personally wait for someone who has a myriad of doubts and worries about everything? Would you give them the benefit of the doubt or would you flee if they weren't ready to reciprocate any feelings right away?
    i would say if shes the one wait it out ... patients and understanding has no time limit

  11. #31
    I wouldn't wait. She either want it or not. If she has to think, I consider that a "not".

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