Well you could start by putting jade spirit on your weapon and enchanting your bracers, as for your parse i dont see that much being wrong, your uptime of NT is just pretty low make sure it doesnt just run out just before/during unseen strikes. Also 43% uptime on RoP isnt good enough even though you wont have much uptime during P2. So basically all i can see is more NT, more RoP and enchant your gear.
In both attempts you didn't use alter time at all, in the 6 minute attempt you used arcane power once, in the other attempt you didn't use it at all, I suggest reviewing the arcane sticky in this forum.