To the tune of Jay-Z's "99 Problems":

If you having dust problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 stacks but I ain't sold one

I got a big patrol on my bid patrol
Foes that undercut til my auctions close
Econ critics that say he's "Gold Gem Hoes"
I'm from Lost Isles stupid, what type of facts are those
If you grew up in a market where nothing sold
You'd celebrate the minute you was having gold
I'm like, **** a fair market, kiss my green ***hole
If you don't like my style you can go the **** home
Get out of my markets, I don't like you ho
You lower my margins but I don't give a **** SO
Gold sites try to use my green ***
So advertisers can give em more cash for ads...****ers
I don't know what you take me as
or understand the intelligence this goblin has
I'm from white gear to purples naga I ain't dumb
I got 99 stacks but I ain't sold one
Buy me

99 stacks but I ain't sold one
If you having dust problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 stacks but I ain't sold one
Buy me

[Verse Two]
The year is '94 and I'm cruising through Org
In my rear view mirror is a city guard worg
I got two choices yall pull over my ride or
get my *** to The Drag to try to hide
Now I ain't trying to get chased by a *****
Plus I got some gold stashed so I can fight this ****
So I...pull over to the side of the road
And I heard "Son do you know why I'm stopping you for?"
Cause I'm young and I'm green and my ride's real dope
Do I look like I can mind control, I don't know
Did I speed through Durotar or should I guess some mo?
"Well we think you were abusing the economy son"
"Gimme your mount training records and don't try to run"
"Do you have a weapon equipped I know a lot of you are"
I ain't stepping out of **** all my gold is legit
"Do you mind if I look round your mount a little bit?"
Well my gold compartment is locked so is the trunk and the back
And I know my rights so you gon' need a suspension for that
"Aren't you sharp as a tack are some type of raid boss or something?"
"Or work for Blizzard or something?"
Nah I don't give out quests but I know a little bit
Enough that you won't illegally search my ****
"Well see how smart you are when the GMs come"
I got 99 stacks but I ain't sold a one
Buy me

[Chorus X2]

[Verse Three]
Now once upon a time not too long ago
A goblin like myself had to buyout a hoe
This is not a hoe in the sense of having a *****
But a ***** trying to edge me out, try and push me
I tried to ignore his auctions and go on with the game
Level a toon in the meantime, some folks got no shame
You know the type that are dumb with their cash
And couldn't couldn't tell his elbow from a hole in their ***
The only thing that's gonna happen is i'mma get to craftin'
He and his guildies gon' be yappin' to a GM
And there I go again with a 3-day ban
Back to Black Ops 2 because of The Man
Fiends on the floor undercutting again
WoW Insider and their screenshots posting them
GM tried to give the naga the shaft again
500,000 gold for bail cause I'm a goblin
All because this troll was harrassin' them
Trying to play the game like hes saccharine
But ain't nothing sweet 'bout how I have my fun
I got 99 stacks but I ain't sold one
Buy me

[Chorus X3]