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  1. #1
    Banned Trassk's Avatar
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    Are straight men the most insecure of all sexual orientations?

    Ok, I don't want to make this into a hate thread, or have negative backlash, because I know this doesn't apply to all and isn't meant as a generalization.
    However, I think there are many who already know this.

    To start with, I want to draw this thread based on statistic from a persons sexuality from around the world.

    There are roughly 7 billion people around the world.

    3,442,850,573 are estimated as male, 3,386,509,865. So given by the by the ratio seems to balance near even.

    Now of that, most societies seem to agree that around 5%-8% of that are gay, lesbian and bisexual, so within those statistics roughly around 3'500'00000 give or take.

    The reason why I want to discuss this more is why, given the numbers and near even, that of all the gender and sexual based ratios, that straight men appear to be, in most societies, more insecure about just about anything then women are.

    I use examples.

    - Straight guy feels insecure about the size of his dong, and glancing at another man's in a shower by chance makes him feel even worse.
    - Straight guy can't hang in a gay bar for fear of being hit on by another man
    - Straight guy has to feel intimidating to other men around him to feel alpha (although gay men might too)

    where as

    - Straight women don't tend to look at other womans boobs and feel jealous of there size
    - Straight women are more likely to handle if another woman comes onto them and even hang in lesbian bars (I've had girl friends say they do to avoid being hit on my men)
    - Straight woman don't create an alpha female thing around them to feel like leader of the pack, they don't need to vaunt aggression to be in control.

    just to add:

    - Gay guy would look at the other guys dong if he likes it
    - Gay guy is more likely to hang in either gay or straight bar and adapt to either
    - Gay guy might be an alpha male in his own right, but doesn't need to resort to aggression to impose it.

    And

    - Lesbian woman might look at the other woman but I've never heard reports of them feeling insecure of there look, and maybe even get the hots for it
    - Lesbian woman much like gay man adapts to there situations in either bar setting, since straight men coming onto them will likely not bother them as much as gay man to a straight man.
    - Lesbian woman much like straight woman or gay man doesn't need to force there alpha in an aggressive way.

    In most situations if someone is able to observe common practices, you can witness how well a woman can handle a situation in a relaxed manner, a man will more likely react to it with some sort of primal instinct instead of reason, which is a form of insecurity. They are also more likely to react to things they feel intimidated by with either aggression or withdrawal, where as a woman is more likely to be in control of it.

    This isn't to say such roles between man and woman aren't reversed sometimes, it can sometimes be the man whos in control and the woman who flies off the handle. But its fair to say most straight men are likely to fit it catagory.

    Why am i making this about straight men? Because when it comes to insecurity, one of the things I think probably 90% of straight have is the insecurity around other men who are sexually attracted to the same gender. There will always be differing reaction to it, from the extreme and violent aggression towards them, to the casual 'hey your gay that cool.. just don't kiss me man' approach.
    With women it is very often different, you so rarely hear straight women beating up or being aggressive to other women who are lesbian, rare cases, but compared to straight men, far less insecurity towards the latter.

    Now you can argue that gay men probably have the same insecurities to, but give this a thought. Most of the insecurities straight men have around the world seems to come from a natural aggression to there own gender, the sort of primal instinct of alpha males coming into there territory. We as humans haven't advanced to far that we don't act like gorilla's when the moment comes.
    however, if two males are attracted to each other, the natural aggression is not as present as it would between two straight men, or a straight man in the face of a gay man. I can never remember wars being fought between two men who might be attracted to one another.

    so, a combination of mans natural instinct towards aggression, and a straight mans withdrawal in the face of something he finds intimidating, seems to lead more cases of a straight man, even the most hardcase of them, to being insecure about something. You are more likely to read about reports of a straight man beating up another man for hitting on him, then you are if a straight woman hits on a gay man, or straight woman if a lesbian woman hits on her.

    Just a thought. Do feel to add your analogy.

  2. #2
    Pit Lord Urti's Avatar
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    I think the whole idea of straight men being "insecure" and "threatened" by gay men to be offensive, as well as the idea that a straight man's natural reaction to most stimuli being aggressive/competitive. Most straight men just genuinely don't care, and the homophobic are the vocal minority. These kind of reactions have very little to do with "natural tendency" and much more to do with how a person is raised to view and interact with others. Homophobes don't attack gays because they are naturally aggressive males or because they are threatened. They do it because they are assholes who never learned how to respect others.
    Last edited by Urti; 2013-01-08 at 10:19 PM.
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  3. #3
    This is just the biggest pile of biased crap...

    Men outgrow most of this by the time they're in their 30s.

    I could go on to say "Oh women and gay guys are way more insecure all they think about his how terrible their bodies look" etc, but that really isn't something worth discussing now is it?

  4. #4
    The Insane Reeve's Avatar
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    I didn't read yet, but just based on the title, I'd say that the gay men I've known have been the least secure generally.

    Edit: OK, after reading now, I have to say NO. Straight men are not more insecure than women. Most of the insecure crap that comes out of the mouths of the women I'm close to shocks me. I'm not saying I don't have my own insecurities, but they're nowhere near on the level of the women I've known.
    Last edited by Reeve; 2013-01-08 at 10:38 PM.
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  5. #5
    Stood in the Fire HavaanSoup's Avatar
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  6. #6
    The Insane Didactic's Avatar
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    Most "insecure" men tend to end up gay or bisexual, I've found. They use insecurity as an outlet for their own misgivings.
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  7. #7
    A rule of thumb is, if the straight man is insecure of sexual orientations chances are he isn't so straight at all, which undermines the whole point you're trying to make.

  8. #8
    This thread isnt going to end well at all...

    I dont think think its the orientation thats at work, its the way the person was raised. you get tokd by your parents that the boogyman is everywhere, of course you're going to be scared of the boogyman.

  9. #9
    I use examples.

    - Straight guy feels insecure about the size of his dong, and glancing at another man's in a shower by chance makes him feel even worse.
    - Straight guy can't hang in a gay bar for fear of being hit on by another man
    - Straight guy has to feel intimidating to other men around him to feel alpha (although gay men might too)

    where as

    - Straight women don't tend to look at other womans boobs and feel jealous of there size
    - Straight women are more likely to handle if another woman comes onto them and even hang in lesbian bars (I've had girl friends say they do to avoid being hit on my men)
    - Straight woman don't create an alpha female thing around them to feel like leader of the pack, they don't need to vaunt aggression to be in control.
    While you start this thread out with statistics, this doesn't seem to be based on anything. While the stuff for men might be true in certain age groups, I don't think you can say women are less intimidated by the more attractive ones or that popular women/girls do not assert their power over other members of the group (this might not be aggressive in the same way that a man expresses aggressiveness, but it can be aggressive nonetheless) with any certainty.

  10. #10
    Legendary! Quetzl's Avatar
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    well a lot of guys are fine with girl/girl love and guys more often set cultural precedents so I would say it's a cultural thing

  11. #11
    I can only speak for myself. I don't care what size anyone else is. My wife is happy and so am I.
    I don't think straight guys go to gay bars, not because of a fear of being hit on (in fact wouldn't that be a compliment) but more because it's a bar for gay people, and if you're not gay, why would you go? Unless you're there for a friend I just don't know why they'd go. (Moreover, I haven't gone to any bars as I do not drink)
    I don't feel like I have to intimidate anyone else. Not every straight guy is alpha. You may be gay and perhaps the straight people you knew when you were younger seemed to intimidate you, but not everyone is like that.
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  12. #12
    Haha, OP, that was great

    By the way, what did you base your "research" on? For example, did you hang around in toilets to see the ercentage of men of each orientation looking at your package?

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by kaze950 View Post
    While you start this thread out with statistics, this doesn't seem to be based on anything. While the stuff for men might be true in certain age groups, I don't think you can say women are less intimidated by the more attractive ones or that popular women/girls do not assert their power over other members of the group (this might not be aggressive in the same way that a man expresses aggressiveness, but it can be aggressive nonetheless) with any certainty.
    gonna have to add on an say your little "assumptions" about women are blatently false, ESPECIALLY in highschool. They;re witchey, get jealous very easily over anything including looks, and there is nearly always an Aplha female in a "clique".

    Straight women can be very insecure, but from my experience its really only over other straight women, and not the lesbians.

  14. #14
    Stood in the Fire draganid's Avatar
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    - Straight women don't tend to look at other womans boobs and feel jealous of there size
    - Straight women are more likely to handle if another woman comes onto them and even hang in lesbian bars (I've had girl friends say they do to avoid being hit on my men)
    - Straight woman don't create an alpha female thing around them to feel like leader of the pack, they don't need to vaunt aggression to be in control.
    women arent jelous of each other's boobs? do you ever talk to girls? ive dated a few girls who whined about how all their friends had bigger boobs, or how her little sister had bigger boobs etc. and while (most) women arent physically intimidating, they can certainly be pretty fucking nasty to each other and that is how they stay on top of their social circles.

  15. #15
    What a massive pile of crap.
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  16. #16
    Brewmaster FrozenFlames's Avatar
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    Personally, I find this thread to be based on nothing. Straight men have the power in the world, how can they be the insecure? Come on??

  17. #17
    No. They are not. Thats the only answer this thread needs before getting closed.

  18. #18
    The Patient Sorbus's Avatar
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    - Straight guy feels insecure about the size of his dong, and glancing at another man's in a shower by chance makes him feel even worse.
    - Straight guy can't hang in a gay bar for fear of being hit on by another man
    - Straight guy has to feel intimidating to other men around him to feel alpha (although gay men might too)

    where as

    - Straight women don't tend to look at other womans boobs and feel jealous of there size
    - Straight women are more likely to handle if another woman comes onto them and even hang in lesbian bars (I've had girl friends say they do to avoid being hit on my men)
    - Straight woman don't create an alpha female thing around them to feel like leader of the pack, they don't need to vaunt aggression to be in control.
    Horrible generalisation... What's the point of this thread anyway? I get a feeling that gay-people are somehow superior to straight ones from your text. People are individuals. And women are just as bad as men, when they are in groups. They quickly form a pecking order just like men. It's in our nature, like many things you listed above.

  19. #19
    High Overlord Kissme's Avatar
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    Almost all people are insecure about something.

    If all you're talking about is sadly overstated generalizations then you have to consider that, especially in todays society, most people tend to have a huge number of body issues. There are reasons plastic surgery is popular, gyms flourish, and diet fads rise and fall with frightening regularity.

    Straight men are no more or less insecure than other orientations. If that were the case, then you wouldn't see so many people stay in the closet for so long. You wouldn't see the ridiculous amount of eating disorders, anger management problems, and other various neurosis that plague modern society.

    We're born into a society that tries to tell us that everyone is equal and that hard work will make you successful, yet the reality is that neither of those is true. Dealing with the reality of their own insignificance is difficult for most people. Some people are better than others and no amount of hard work guarantees success. Most of us will die and be forgotten. Until people accept that and deal with what is rather than what they feel should be, you'll end up with a society of people that either feel they aren't living up to their potential or that they aren't getting a fair shot and both of those lead to insecurity. Whether their genitals dangle or not, and whether they are attracted to people who's genitals dangle or not really has nothing to do with it.

  20. #20
    This thread is incredibly sexist.

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