Thread: Terribly lonely

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  1. #1
    Scarab Lord Trollskalden's Avatar
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    Terribly lonely

    I've always been kind of a loner, so I've never had many friends by choice. I haven't really pursued any girlfriend either, because I haven't really felt the need for it. However, as of lately I'm starting to feel more and more lonely, probably because I seriously have no one to talk to, so it kinda sucks I have to hold in everything that I feel because, well, I've got no one to talk to really. It's not that I don't have friends at all, it's not that, the problem is that I never connect with them. The guys that I've gotten to know are mostly hardcore DnD nerds, have their girlfriends and their friends, and if they're not ultra nerds they're, well, muslims. I somehow manage to get along with muslims rather well. In any case, I'm always kinda left outside, because I'm just neutral and I don't feel like I can enjoy their interests. I enjoy them as friends, but I cannot spend any larger amount of time with them because I get so bored and unmotivated and get just plain boring in general.

    I've always been a very emotional person. I was always the first kid to cry in class for the most minor things, I've always had these weird brainstorms where I come up with the most absurd concepts, and when I tell them to someone they're always like "mkay" and there's that. No discussion. No nothing. So as of lately I've just spent more and more time wondering what to do. I mean, I could join some afternoon class for something I enjoy. Now, that's another thing; I don't know what I enjoy. I talk on forums and play brief periods, like 30 minutes each, on video games because I have nothing else to do. So not only am I fairly lonely, I'm also fucking bored. I like to come up with stuff, that's it.

    tl;dr: I'm not OMG SO DEPRESSED PLEASE END MY LIFE but more like damn I'm bored and lonely, I feel I could spend my time on something useful, but I have no idea what that is.

    Anyone been in the same situation?
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  2. #2
    Titan Reeve's Avatar
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    Maybe try some meetup groups or something? Take a dance class, join a chess club, a book club, audit some university courses, etc. It hardly even matters what. Just pick something where you know there will likely be people there who are someone similar to you and wouldn't be unlikely to want to grab a pint afterwards. Bonus points for something where you have to accomplish something in groups. I hear the Hash House Harriers can be kinda fun.
    Go and tell my baby sister
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  3. #3
    The Lightbringer Toffie's Avatar
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    Any sports you like ? Dancing, paintball,soccer ? You could get to know a ton of people rather fast.
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    Hey we should hang out and play !!!
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  5. #5
    Scarab Lord Trollskalden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reeve View Post
    Maybe try some meetup groups or something? Take a dance class, join a chess club, a book club, audit some university courses, etc. It hardly even matters what. Just pick something where you know there will likely be people there who are someone similar to you and wouldn't be unlikely to want to grab a pint afterwards. Bonus points for something where you have to accomplish something in groups. I hear the Hash House Harriers can be kinda fun.
    Yeah, again, I don't find anything all that fun. Politics is fun. But I'm 18, so no one takes me seriously unless they don't know my age. And frankly, everyone confuses me for a 15-year old anyway.
    Quote Originally Posted by Toffie View Post
    Any sports you like ? Dancing, paintball,soccer ? You could get to know a ton of people rather fast.
    The only sport I enjoy is skiing, and even then I don't have much of an opportunity to do that in southern Sweden. Luckily I'm moving to the north in a half year, so it'll most likely be easier to start skiing there by then but yeah.
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  6. #6
    Titan Reeve's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tomatketchup View Post
    Yeah, again, I don't find anything all that fun. Politics is fun. But I'm 18, so no one takes me seriously unless they don't know my age. And frankly, everyone confuses me for a 15-year old anyway.

    The only sport I enjoy is skiing, and even then I don't have much of an opportunity to do that in southern Sweden. Luckily I'm moving to the north in a half year, so it'll most likely be easier to start skiing there by then but yeah.
    It doesn't really matter whether or not you find it fun. Do it anyway. It's about meeting people, not the activity itself.

    If you like politics, consider volunteering to help with a political campaign in your area. You can meet other people interested in politics that way. They'll have you do a lot of grunt work, sure, but again, it's about meeting people.
    Go and tell my baby sister
    Not to do what I have done
    Go and spurn that house down in New Orleans
    They call the Rising Sun

  7. #7
    Get a pet, go to therapy, and maybe look into online dating.

    Also If you got a bunch of ideas write em down and flesh em out then maybe find forums with similar ideas/interests.

    If its something you can make, try to use kickstarter to get it produced.

  8. #8
    well, you can always talk to us

  9. #9
    Scarab Lord Trollskalden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reeve View Post
    It doesn't really matter whether or not you find it fun. Do it anyway. It's about meeting people, not the activity itself.

    If you like politics, consider volunteering to help with a political campaign in your area. You can meet other people interested in politics that way. They'll have you do a lot of grunt work, sure, but again, it's about meeting people.
    I'm not sure whether I should join something I don't enjoy in order to find people who share my interests. Then I might as well just hang with the friends I already have - and that sucks balls.

    But sure, I might look for something which fits my political interests in my town, unfortunately there are no major parties that are supporting the things I support, so that'll be a LOT of grunt work.

    Sorry for being so pessimistic by the way.
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  10. #10
    Titan Reeve's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tomatketchup View Post
    I'm not sure whether I should join something I don't enjoy in order to find people who share my interests. Then I might as well just hang with the friends I already have - and that sucks balls.

    But sure, I might look for something which fits my political interests in my town, unfortunately there are no major parties that are supporting the things I support, so that'll be a LOT of grunt work.

    Sorry for being so pessimistic by the way.
    I've found that I often don't know what my interests really are until I've tried enough things. I never thought I'd enjoy dancing until a friend's girlfriend forced me to take a swing class with her, for example.
    Go and tell my baby sister
    Not to do what I have done
    Go and spurn that house down in New Orleans
    They call the Rising Sun

  11. #11
    Scarab Lord Trollskalden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by frogger237 View Post
    If its something you can make, try to use kickstarter to get it produced.
    My ideas are always really ambitious. I'm talking Albert Speer-ideas.

    ---------- Post added 2013-01-14 at 11:29 PM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by Reeve View Post
    I've found that I often don't know what my interests really are until I've tried enough things. I never thought I'd enjoy dancing until a friend's girlfriend forced me to take a swing class with her, for example.
    Oh man, finding motivation for this will be kinda hard it seems.
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  12. #12
    Titan Reeve's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tomatketchup View Post
    My ideas are always really ambitious. I'm talking Albert Speer-ideas.

    ---------- Post added 2013-01-14 at 11:29 PM ----------


    Oh man, finding motivation for this will be kinda hard it seems.
    If you're thinking about whether or not you're motivated to do something, you're doing it wrong. Just do it and don't worry about getting motivated.
    Go and tell my baby sister
    Not to do what I have done
    Go and spurn that house down in New Orleans
    They call the Rising Sun

  13. #13
    Scarab Lord Trollskalden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reeve View Post
    If you're thinking about whether or not you're motivated to do something, you're doing it wrong. Just do it and don't worry about getting motivated.
    What are my alternatives? What should I pick first? Why should I pick this first? Is there anything beneficial to it?

    I can't help but ask myself questions like these when thinking about doing something.
    I Vissefjärda kan man skryta om
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  14. #14
    Titan Reeve's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tomatketchup View Post
    What are my alternatives? What should I pick first? Why should I pick this first? Is there anything beneficial to it?

    I can't help but ask myself questions like these when thinking about doing something.
    That's fine, but put a deadline on yourself. If you haven't made a decision by X date, just pick something at random and do it.

    ---------- Post added 2013-01-14 at 10:47 PM ----------

    This thread keeps making me think of the song Whistle for the Choir. Really has nothing to do with it aside from the word Lonely, but it's a really good song, so yeah.
    Go and tell my baby sister
    Not to do what I have done
    Go and spurn that house down in New Orleans
    They call the Rising Sun

  15. #15
    Scarab Lord Trollskalden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reeve View Post
    This thread keeps making me think of the song Whistle for the Choir. Really has nothing to do with it aside from the word Lonely, but it's a really good song, so yeah.
    Mr. Lonely by Bobby Vinton is kinda fitting, though my situation might not be as melodramatic.
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  16. #16
    Enroll to a college?

  17. #17
    You probably are a little depressed and should go see a therapist to talk about your issues. Ive done that and its incredibly helpful.

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tomatketchup View Post
    Yeah, again, I don't find anything all that fun. Politics is fun. But I'm 18, so no one takes me seriously unless they don't know my age. And frankly, everyone confuses me for a 15-year old anyway.
    Get involved then, don't you got a local branch for whatever party you find most suitable for you? MUF, LUF etc
    When I was your age a lot of my school and class mates were active members in youth organizations for the big political parties, try that.
    Shit like this actually goes through your fucking brain?

  19. #19
    Scarab Lord Trollskalden's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jackmoves View Post
    Get involved then, don't you got a local branch for whatever party you find most suitable for you? MUF, LUF etc
    When I was your age a lot of my school and class mates were active members in youth organizations for the big political parties, try that.
    I don't support any of the big parties in Sweden. I'm for an active debate on integration, a revamp of the entire education system and I'm also pro-Nordism.

    Quote Originally Posted by davispunx View Post
    You probably are a little depressed and should go see a therapist to talk about your issues. Ive done that and its incredibly helpful.
    I've been thinking about it, but I've always felt that it's been a teenager kind of thing and that's it gonna pass. Depression just sounds a bit drastic.
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  20. #20
    I am Murloc! muto's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kuntantee View Post
    Enroll to a college?
    Sorry, but that doesn't all the sudden get you friends.

    I'm in my 2nd week at a new college, and I still don't know anyone or have any friends I have met here that I hang out with. The only person I know attending here doesn't live on campus and she works in the afternoon, so I only see her in one of my classes, and when she occasionally has time to eat lunch here.

    I know how you feel OP.


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