Thread: Terribly lonely

Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst
1
2
3
  1. #41
    Elemental Lord Snowraven's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    European Union
    Posts
    8,941
    Quote Originally Posted by Tomatketchup View Post
    Oh trust me, I'm a fucking Jackass when I'm out on the town with my buddies. I shout and I'm generally a dick. Politics is not something we discuss. I also despise myself afterwards because I hate being that guy. It's a complete 180 degree change from my usual introverted insecure personality.
    ... then people don't want to be friends with you because you're a dick. Stop that.

  2. #42
    Quote Originally Posted by Arnorei View Post
    ... then people don't want to be friends with you because you're a dick. Stop that.
    Sorry for not clarifying: My friends love when I'm a dick, I don't.

  3. #43
    Elemental Lord Snowraven's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    European Union
    Posts
    8,941
    Quote Originally Posted by muto View Post
    I have asked her and had lunch with her a few times, but I don't want to keep asking her, because then she'll think I have no other friends, plus she hangs out with her aunt during a couple lunch periods during the week, and no one comes between her and her aunt. I also do try to make small talk with people.
    Good. Give her your phone number too. Or e-mail, or facebook, or whatever you use around there to communicate more.
    And then call her around, then wait a bit and she'll call you after a while, you'll see.

    And the idea is not only to make small talk, but to keep making it with same people until you have a connection with them and they keep coming to you for more small talk.

    ---------- Post added 2013-01-15 at 01:51 AM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by Tomatketchup View Post
    Sorry for not clarifying: My friends love when I'm a dick, I don't.
    Oh ok, look. I'll be real direct with you on this, they love that because you're making yourself look like an idiot then. You don't like it, but they do because it's funny to laugh at how people look and treat you after you act like a dick. It's sort of like how people like Bam from the actual Jackass show from MTV, they like him because he makes dumb jokes, not for his personality, they like him because they can laugh at him and at his victims, not laugh with him.
    You're in same situation.

    Now think. You're doing something you don't like for "friends" you aren't really close to. Why? Do you have something to prove? No. Be yourself, and use your personality, just include stuff that people in general find sociably nice, like mini-jokes. But don't morph your entire personality for people just because they find it fun. Because by doing that you'll end up not knowing what you truly like, who are you truly and later on you'll be even more confused about stuff, about what you like and who.

  4. #44
    Legendary! muto's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Location
    Inside a Bubble
    Posts
    6,020
    Quote Originally Posted by Arnorei View Post
    Good. Give her your phone number too. Or e-mail, or facebook, or whatever you use around there to communicate more.
    And then call her around, then wait a bit and she'll call you after a while, you'll see.

    And the idea is not only to make small talk, but to keep making it with same people until you have a connection with them and they keep coming to you for more small talk.
    I have, I've been texting her, and what not. Also called her a couple times.


  5. #45
    Quote Originally Posted by Reeve View Post
    I've found that I often don't know what my interests really are until I've tried enough things. I never thought I'd enjoy dancing until a friend's girlfriend forced me to take a swing class with her, for example.
    Swing is too technical, i much prefer contra

    But yes, people have no ideas about what they like, they have to try different things.
    Hell, i love hoola hooping, and it shapes your body nicely :P

    Just check social activities really...

  6. #46
    Quote Originally Posted by Tomatketchup View Post
    Sorry for not clarifying: My friends love when I'm a dick, I don't.
    Then those friends aren't friends and you should drop contact.

  7. #47
    Herald of the Titans Video Games's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    California
    Posts
    2,853
    Get a cat or a dog. They are jawesome.

  8. #48
    You actually just described me perfectly. I've been told by enough people that they think I have depression that I'm actually starting to believe it. I'd get a doctor's opinion if I could be bothered.
    Torethirnyi, Blackwing's Bane - Orc Enhancement Shaman - <Conviction> of Korgath - (H) 9/13 25-man - Retired from WoW in 4.1
    Champion Torethyr Sarin - Cyborg Vengeance Juggernaut - <Conviction> of Prophecy of the Five - 10/10 Nightmare Mode - Retired

    Nothing makes you hate MMOs more than having played MMOs.

  9. #49
    Quote Originally Posted by spk View Post
    Get a cat or a dog. They are jawesome.
    I have a cat.

    Fat bastard is mostly interested in my food, but I love him no less for that.

  10. #50
    The Insane Reeve's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Houston, TX USA
    Posts
    16,531
    Quote Originally Posted by Tomatketchup View Post
    I have a cat.

    Fat bastard is mostly interested in my food, but I love him no less for that.
    I have never fed my cat human food and I indoctrinated her as a kitten not to go near it. She isn't even interested in human food.
    Well 1, 2, 3, take my hand and come with me
    Because you look so fine
    And I really wanna make you mine

  11. #51
    Mechagnome
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Posts
    628
    It's definitely about signing up for random group activities.

    Sport is always the best option as fitness comes with it but other activities work just as well (I'd say knitting even but you'll just be with old ladies and that won't work for you). Just make sure it's something that people that you'd get on with would do. You'd be surprised what sports will do for you as well, it'll turn your whole outlook around.

    About 3 years ago I moved between cities and left all my friends behind (p.s. don't chase girls over 1700kms, it's not worth it) and decided 18 months ago it was time for a change as I was getting fat and feeling miserable. Started eating healthy and went to Canada with a friend. Came back and took up Ice Hockey (crazy in Australia but best thing I've ever done!). Signed up for some lessons (been doing lots of them the last 6 months) and had 3 friends ask me if I was doing it before they signed up themselves!

    I know it's not easy for most people and I have a certain degree of ease in talking to people that others don't (get nervous as hell if it's anything more than that though!) but it's an important skill and you need to learn it.

  12. #52
    High Overlord Babytaco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    198
    Go out and get a job. It will give you something to do while keeping your mind off the things that bug you. You will also (likely) make friends in the process! Good luck!

  13. #53
    Scarab Lord Arkenaw's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    San Antonio, Texas
    Posts
    4,227
    Don't bother trying to make friends in high school, most of them will either forget you after they go to college or move away.
    Last edited by Arkenaw; 2013-01-15 at 12:54 AM. Reason: nevermind, I'm stupid

  14. #54
    The Insane Trassk's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Location
    Having beers with Dorothy
    Posts
    17,050
    What you need is to find like minded people. Simply going to a place you don't know much about won't help.
    I use to feel lonely when I was in my late teens to early twenties. And then I began to associate with people who shared common intrests, gaming, comics, movies. I eventually made some great friends online and meet irl.
    The point is simply figure out what your interests are, and look to finding people who enjoy the same. It helps form bonds with people because you always have the same interest to fall back on.
    Big thanks to Davillage for awesome signature

  15. #55
    The Insane Reeve's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Houston, TX USA
    Posts
    16,531
    Quote Originally Posted by Arkenaw View Post
    Don't bother trying to make friends in high school, most of them will either forget you after they go to college or move away.
    I still keep in touch regularly with my high school friends, and I live a good 2000 miles away from them. I even come visit them an average of once a year, and one of them even came out to see me. Not all high school friendships end after high school.
    Well 1, 2, 3, take my hand and come with me
    Because you look so fine
    And I really wanna make you mine

  16. #56
    The Unstoppable Force Rukentuts's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Mini Soda
    Posts
    23,224
    Quote Originally Posted by Reeve View Post
    I still keep in touch regularly with my high school friends, and I live a good 2000 miles away from them. I even come visit them an average of once a year, and one of them even came out to see me. Not all high school friendships end after high school.
    My best friend I met almost 10 years ago in Junior High and we get together regularly. Saw Zero Dark Thirty tonight.
    Quote Originally Posted by GreatOak View Post
    Hey, as a transabled, transethnic, non-binary, genderqueer, neo-communist, indoor-capable republican otherkin I am offended by your callous display of ignorance.
    Quote Originally Posted by Eroginous View Post
    I wouldn't expect someone who thinks science provides proof to know that.

  17. #57
    Epic!
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Behind your Bakaneko.
    Posts
    1,516
    Try something new you haven't or have thought about doing for a while that scares you. You're not going to get much if any interaction in the way you want unless you move out of your comfort zone and try something, even if it is horrifying to you mentally. I know its difficult to do, I've been there and am still going through it, but don't analyze everything you do or see before you make a move or else you'll just be paralyzed in thought and do nothing, which is the worst thing you can do. It doesn't have to be a drastic thing, either. Don't ponder so much as to why you are lonely and how to fix it, act on it.

    Also, if you're really having trouble finding new friends, you need to take a look at yourself and see if you're a person people want to be around or someone people want to avoid. People like being around people that can provide for them, whether you are funny, smart, helpful, silly(not crazy), etc. If you have nothing to provide, people will avoid you generally.
    Last edited by Netherfall; 2013-01-15 at 05:41 AM.

  18. #58
    Elemental Lord Snowraven's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Location
    European Union
    Posts
    8,941
    Quote Originally Posted by muto View Post
    I have, I've been texting her, and what not. Also called her a couple times.
    Good, you're on your way of becoming friends.

  19. #59
    The best way to solve your issue is to put some effort into getting a girlfriend and let her take control of your daily life.

    In 2 months you will either be much happier or ready to gouge her goddam eyes out, in either case it's one hell of a fun ride.

  20. #60
    The Lightbringer Kerath's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Gumdrop House, Lollipop Lane, Happy Land.
    Posts
    3,083
    Have you considered getting a part time job in a local pub? Not some obnoxious club/meat market, but a decent local pub. I did bar work for a while myself in my late teens and it's a good way to meet all kinds of different people and open up your social circle a bit.
    - Signature courtesy of the very talented Aveline -

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •