Thread: Rate my poem

  1. #1

    Rate my poem

    I am writing to a girl that I want to take out. She is apparently afraid of skydiving so I decided to write a poem. Think she will buy it? Enjoy.

    So you will not be sky diving
    I understand your view
    I have agoraphobia
    So ill be on the ground too.
    Simply driving down the highway
    Makes me sick and blue
    But I would grin and bare it
    For I have fallen for you.
    Last edited by crawdaddy029; 2013-01-16 at 06:20 AM.

  2. #2
    In a 1 to 100 scale with a 34 being great and a 62 being terrible with a 92 being average, I give it a 17b.

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by obdigore View Post
    In a 1 to 100 scale with a 34 being great and a 62 being terrible with a 92 being average, I give it a 17b.
    ?que? so does that mean I am going to get laid?

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by crawdaddy029 View Post
    ?que? so does that mean I am going to get laid?
    Yes, but by a Vietnamese transvestite.

    Bergtau's Law: As an online discussion grows longer, the probability that somebody will mention Godwin's Law approaches 1.
    Hitler wasn't all bad, I mean, he DID kill Hitler.
    An accident is something that you did not mean to do at all. A mistake is something that you regret doing.

  5. #5
    http://teamcoco.com/video/clueless-g...reviews-skyrim

    I have no idea, this I don't know you or her or your relationship.

  6. #6
    Mechagnome Rec's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Toronto
    Posts
    691
    I'd stick to skydiving. : P

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by obdigore View Post
    http://teamcoco.com/video/clueless-g...reviews-skyrim

    I have no idea, this I don't know you or her or your relationship.
    There is no relationship, I just seen that she is not the girl to go skydiving and I am writing to her for the first time.

  8. #8
    Great poem, but not a deal maker.

  9. #9
    Your poem is too wimpy, girls don't like wimps. Agrophobia? Come ooooon, be a man not a little girl!

    Here I made it more badass just for ya!

    So you will not be sky diving
    I understand your view
    But I'll be hurling through the air
    As you watch me disappear

    Your girly ways at the edge of the sky
    Made me all sick and blue
    But I would grin and bare it
    For I have fallen for you.

    Then I don't know, add a Marty Friedman solo and repeat chorus?

  10. #10
    The Lightbringer Whitey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    3,243
    How the hell do you rate poetry in the first place?
    WBMA - Leave our beards alone

    Skype, PS3 & Steam - Whiteington

    Battletag - Whitey#2918 - feel free to add me, I'm a social animal

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by Xavas View Post
    Your poem is too wimpy, girls don't like wimps. Agrophobia? Come ooooon, be a man not a little girl!

    Here I made it more badass just for ya!

    So you will not be sky diving
    I understand your view
    But I'll be hurling through the air
    As you watch me disappear

    Your girly ways at the edge of the sky
    Made me all sick and blue
    But I would grin and bare it
    For I have fallen for you.

    Then I don't know, add a Marty Friedman solo and repeat chorus?
    I like it, I already sent mine though. I changed the end of it to "For a date with you" just so I don't sound like a creeper.

    ---------- Post added 2013-01-16 at 03:31 AM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by Whitey View Post
    How the hell do you rate poetry in the first place?
    The second post is an example (I didn't say good though)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •