Society does tell men that their job (worth) in life is to provide for a wife and children. It also tells men that they should be emotional or show weakness, because of this women are told (believe) that a man shows his love by his actions. Actions meaning how much he spends on her by taking her out to dinner, buying her nice things, and spending money on her in general. The more a man loves you the more he will spend on you, so by asking a man to buy you expensive things a woman can reinforce to herself how my a man loves her. The problem with this now is that women have their own money, can buy nice things for themselves and in some cases afford something better than a man can give her. So the actions by which men have been "told" to show their love and emotions by are not really needed by most women. Women now want to see a man's emotions and they want to see a man doing something that is normally woman's work like washing clothes or cooking dinner. But society still tells men that doing those things are some who wrong and not "manly" so it drives the disconnect between men and women even more.
I think the best group for men to look to for advice about male identity would be gay males. For the most part this group of men have left the traditional male identity of husband/father and made their own. We don't see gay males as worthless to society because they are not married or have children, now at one point people did I will admit. It is as if by being gay they have been able to shed not only ideas about male identity but gender roles as well.
Now this is just my ideas on this issue and I am not saying they are fact even if it sounds like it.
On a side note some women did get pregnant on purpose but it is not to trapt a man into child support payments but due to the antiquated belief that child will keep a man in a relationship. So it is more to trapt a man into a relationship, which woman have been doing since......forever. It is nothing new or something that just came into popular fashion.