The ending of MoP

[Deleted]

I think I figured out how MoP will end:

Thrall finally decides it’s time to face Garrosh and ask what he’s been up to. Garrosh isn’t planning on giving up his evil ways anytime soon and the 2 decide to finish the Mak’Gora (honorable duel) they started in WotLK. The fight takes place in the Orgrimmar arena where nearly all Orgrimmar citizens are present. When the fight starts Thrall is forced immediately on the defensive and pops all his CD’s to keep up. Once Shamanistic Rage wears off Thrall realizes he must do something or he loses and summons his buddy Ragnaros. Garrosh, being no match for the elemental lord of fire in his present state laughs it off and tells Thrall he isn’t even in his final form yet and it is revealed he is corrupted by Mannoroth’s Tusks and possessed by the Sha of Death. Garrosh transform into a High Demonlord of Death ( i.imgur. com/KYaaW.jpg ) and defeats Ragnaros with 1 blow.

Thrall is being forced to use his last ace and uses his ultimate weapon: the Dragon Soul. Thrall secretly used this weapon to absorb Deathwing and bind him to his will without telling anyone and now summons Deathwing. Garrosh transforms a few more times but every time he is outmatched by Deathwing. Garrosh decides to use his final weapon now as well and commands his Kor’kron Elites to bring out his gigantic 1-man tank secretly made by Goblin engineers which shoots manabombs created by Blood Elves originally built for Garrosh to destroy Stormwind. Thrall mounts Deathwing and the 2 orcs are about to duke it out, however, that is when Gamon points out the arena is too small for a battle of such an epic proportion. Thrall and Garrosh agree and decide to continue their epic battle in the Barrens.

Once in the Barrens Thrall opens up with a Fire Blast from Deathwing. Garrosh’s tank is protected by plate armor with a high fire resistance so the attack does nothing. Thrall realizes he has to find another way of attacking and flies around in the air doing his best to avoid the manabombs Garrosh is shooting at him. One of the manabombs lands in Ashenvale and causes a massive explosion destroying nearly all living creatures in the forest. Tyrande notices and is pissed because of the deforestation which results in an imbalance in the ecosystem and decides to wake up her husband Malfurion who has decided to take a nap again.

Meanwhile Baine Bloodhoof, Hamuul Runetotem and the rest of the Tauren are picking flowers. Once they gathered over 8K Peaceblooms they visited flight master Tal in Thunder Bluff and flew to Orgrimmar in the hopes of stopping all this violence. In the Eastern Kingdoms Varian comes to the conclusion that he and the rest of the pinkskins are a bunch of boring sad cunts and he decides to change that today and do what he always wanted to do: raid Orgrimmar and kill Garrosh Hellscream! He invites the dwarves and the gnomes to join his human raid group and they take the zeppelin in Grom’gol base camp to Orgrimmar.

When Varian arrives in Orgrimmar he does not find Garrosh or any other Orgrimmar citizens. He finds Baine and his Tauren who are just as bewildered why Orgrimmar is so empty. Varian thinks for a second whether he should attack or not but before he gets the chance to make a decision Baine comes forth to greet the human king and offers him the peaceblooms he and his people picked up to gain peace and tranquility. Varian was about to accept this offer, if it wasn’t for Hamuul’s clumsiness at this very moment where he accidentally stepped on the gnomes of the king's raid group and accidentally killed all gnomes. In response the otherwise noble and elegant Varian started to nerd rage about having 1/3th of his raid wiped and transformed into Lo’Gosh. Baine, trying to avoid unnecessary bloodshed, challenged Lo’Gosh to a 1 on 1 duel and the loser goes back to their capital. Lo’Gosh agreed. Logic implies that a 6 feet tall 200 pound 10% bodyfat human stands no chance against an 8 feet tall 500 pound beefhead and naturally Baine crushed Varian’s head with 1 slam from the gigantic fucking tree he wields.

Tirion Fordring shows up and revives Varian. He tells everyone to stop fighting because fighting is bad and everyone agrees. Meanwhile in the Barrens Garrosh finally hit Deathwing with a manabomb and Deathwing dies, but not before Thrall managed to get close enough to get an old school windfury crit with his Doomhammer and smash the tank to pieces. With Deathwing and the tank destroyed, Thrall and Garrosh clashed yet again in a melee fight. Thrall popped his cooldowns again, but after Shamanistic rage faded he couldn’t keep up with Garrosh and is pushed back in the direction of Orgrimmar. The 2 orcs and the Orgrimmar citizens who’ve been following and watching the battle arrive in Orgrimmar just as Varian is resurrected. The alliance decides to stay around to see who would win this epic battle between 2 of the strongest orcs the horde has to offer.

During the fight Hamuul gets bored and advances on Jaina, who happily agrees and they sneek off. They do it in Orgrimmar’s inn were Hamuul’s Bearhug stuns Jaina and then the old druid proceeds to penetrate Jaina’s mage armor (in the next expansion the Cenarion Circle and the Kirin Tor fuse into 1 faction with Hamuul and Jaina as their leaders and Jaina will be pregnant, creating the first half-tauren, half-human in the game).

Meanwhile Garrosh has brought Thrall down to 1 knee on the ground. With a grin on his face Garrosh says that Thrall will never be able to beat him. Thrall, significantly hurt but not defeated, asks Garrosh what makes him so certain of that. Garrosh then reveals the fact that Blizzard hates shamans. Thrall finally realizes this truth but it is too late and Garrosh cuts him down with a clean strike from Gorehowl.

Garrosh basks in victory, thinking he has won, but he forgot that shamans have reincarnation and Thrall rezzes. He quickly changes to his resto spec. Garrosh says it won’t make any difference.

Thrall replies: “It is true Blizzard hates the shaman class, however, resto is OP and that’s why the other shaman specs suffer ”.

Thrall heals himself to full and the battle starts all over again. At this point the players will be able to participate in the hardest and final raid of the expansion. Horde players can start the raid by talking to Baine Bloodhoof and Alliance players by talking to Varian Wrynn. They tell you a powerful presence is nearby and the players should check it out in Ratchet. Players fly to Ratchet on their flying mounts where they’ll find out that the powerful presence is none other than Varok Saurfang who decided to return to Orgrimmar by boat. The players have to escort him through the barrens to Orgrimmar and protect him from hyenas, prowlers, raptors, giraffes, quilboars, harpies and centaur during a 45 minute walk.

When the raid arrives in Orgrimmar the final cutscene is shown. Varok restores order. Garrosh surrenders out of fear of being cleaved. Garrosh’s corruption gets cleansed away and the Sha of Death is driven out of Garrosh. Garrosh says sorry and returns to Outland. Thrall says goodbye to his people and leaves Orgrimmar for good. Varian and the rest of the humans go back to Stormwind. The dwarves and Tirion stay in Orgrimmar to enjoy the fine beer the city has to offer and have a friendly brawl once in a while with the rest of the citizens. The gnomes stay dead. The tauren and Jaina return to Mulgore to pick flowers, smoke weed the peace pipe, and do what nature urges them to do. Malfurion and the other night elf druids have finally been awoken and decide to take no action since they can just dream about trees if they want to and they go back to sleep.

At this point Blizzard realizes they should update Outland if Garrosh is to return to his place of birth. To avoid doing this they add the following plot twist:

Right before Garrosh steps through the dark portal, his heart gets pierced by an arrow. Vol’jin appears and tells him he got his revenge now and that he teamed up with the Zandalari and plans to take over Pandaland. The Darkspear trolls leave the Horde and conquer Pandaria while killing all pandas because pandas are childish and rename Pandaria to Trollorio. Sylvanas manages to kill all the worgen and can finally, with the watchful eyes of Garrosh gone, unleash the New Plague on the Eastern Kingdoms turning all living creatures into undead minions serving the dark lady, including blood elves, humans, dwarves and gnomes. In the next expansion Mograine and his Death Knights square off against Sylvanas.

In Kalimdor Saurfang appointed Gamon as warchief before he went back to Northrend. Under Gamon’s rule the Horde turns Durotar, the Barrens and Mulgore into a durable ecosystem providing plenty of food, clean water, wood and other supplies. The Horde stops warring with neighboring settlements including the Night Elves, the Quilboar and the Centaur and a peace treaty is formed. Durotar, the Barrens and Mulgore become a Utopia on Azeroth where everyone spends their time picking flowers, fishing and other relaxing activities. Meanwhile the Draenei are still recovering from the crash of the Exodar.

[Darsithis]

In Kalimdor Saurfang appointed Gamon as warchief before he went back to Northrend. Under Gamon’s rule the Horde turns Durotar, the Barrens and Mulgore into a durable ecosystem providing plenty of food, clean water, wood and other supplies. The Horde stops warring with neighboring settlements including the Night Elves, the Quilboar and the Centaur and a peace treaty is formed. Durotar, the Barrens and Mulgore become a Utopia on Azeroth where everyone spends their time picking flowers, fishing and other relaxing activities. Meanwhile the Draenei are still recovering from the crash of the Exodar.

Somehow I have serious trouble thinking Blizzard would actually end MoP this way.

[Trassk]

Yeah.. wasn't that funny. You kind of realize its a joke after the mentioning defensive cooldowns.

[DeadmanWalking]

I got as far as defensive cool downs and scrolled down to make this equally funny and ultimately useless responce.

[Deleted]

yeah these things are getting lamer and lamer

[Deleted]

Hahahahahahahahahahah xd

[velde046]

Yeah.. wasn't that funny. You kind of realize its a joke after the mentioning defensive cooldowns.

If you say so, I thought jokes were supposed to make a person laugh or at least grin....

[Northem]

The ending of MoP (unfortunately true): The Alliance and the Horde end with the tyrant Garrosh, guilty of all evil in Azeroth, and then a party with kisses and hugs explodes throughout Azeroth. The Horde and Alliance make peace and become allies. Jaina, the Kirin Tor and Dalaran return to be neutral, and all together prepare themselves to deal with the Burning Legion and "kill" Sargeras. End of WoW.

[Slowpoke is a Gamer]

I may have lost some IQ points just breezing over it to get down here to post this.

[kingriku]

Oh lordy, atleast we now know one way it wont end.

[Deleted]

tbh i loved that, may just be tired though. Thanks for the lols :3

[Granyala]

While we loot Garroshs corpse Infernals will rain down on us, portals will open and Demons will pour out.
We then have to quickly run away and no time to grab the loot. :/

[Troolari]

It's really hard to locate the funny in there...

[Deleted]

To be honest I didn't start writing this to be funny. It's more of a bunch of thoughts that got intertwined that I needed to get out. That's when I added some absurd things that can only be considered funny if you have the same thought of that particular situation as me, since it is a variation of the actual situation (as opposed to a variation of a thought the general public shares). I ended up putting some subtle and not so subtle criticism in there too. That sad I'm glad some people considered it funny .

If you do not have the WHAT IS THIS feeling after reading I have failed.

[Belletha]

I, personally, can't wait to fight Sha-Jaina on my way to cutting Garrosh's throat.

[Highlord Hanibuhl]

(...) Meanwhile the Draenei are still recovering from the crash of the Exodar.

What.. still ? After 6 years?

[Xerra]

I would like to have Saurfang be going blind and senile that the players have to point him in the right direction to attack or else he kills raid members on accident.

Whoops crits you for 900,000 damage.

[Jinouga]

I would like to have Saurfang be going blind and senile that the players have to point him in the right direction to attack or else he kills raid members on accident.

Whoops crits you for 900,000 damage.

I fucking lol'd, now I can sleep happy

[redwitchy]

I thought this was pretty funny once i got over the WTF aspect in the first couple paragraphs. Kudos to you OP

[ProphetFlume]

Worth the read. Favorite was the 45 minute Saurfang escort through barrens.