I always feel like I'm doing all the work.. always reaching out. I get sad/depressed sometimes because if I don't make an effort to reach out, my phone stays dead silent (in phone calls and text messages). I tested this a few weeks ago and very rarely to people get in touch/check on me. Sometimes I wonder why things are like this and I sometimes wonder why I am even alive in the first place.
In a world filled with billions of other humans, I find a hard to connecting and building relationships with people around me. My attitude growing up was "Fuck everyone, I'm doing my own thing, who needs this shit?" Now, more than ever, I really get a sense of loneliness and I'm not sure what else to do or make of the situation.
In essence, I feel like a ghost/spirit who can not be seen or reached out to.