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  1. #1

    Why don't people ever communicate/get in touch with me?

    I always feel like I'm doing all the work.. always reaching out. I get sad/depressed sometimes because if I don't make an effort to reach out, my phone stays dead silent (in phone calls and text messages). I tested this a few weeks ago and very rarely to people get in touch/check on me. Sometimes I wonder why things are like this and I sometimes wonder why I am even alive in the first place.

    In a world filled with billions of other humans, I find a hard to connecting and building relationships with people around me. My attitude growing up was "Fuck everyone, I'm doing my own thing, who needs this shit?" Now, more than ever, I really get a sense of loneliness and I'm not sure what else to do or make of the situation.

    In essence, I feel like a ghost/spirit who can not be seen or reached out to.

  2. #2
    Immortal Dezerte's Avatar
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    Maybe your past attitude has effected your ability to socialize. Maybe other people picked up on your "fuck everyone" attitude.

    With that said, I'm just a armchair-psychologist.
    To declare that a personal, inner experience gives certainty about the workings of the universe is to assign far too much value to one’s subjective sense of conviction.
    I’m not that arrogant.

    The brain, marvelous instrument though it is, isn’t infallible. It can misfire, seize or hallucinate, and it can do so in a way that’s utterly indistinguishable from reality to the person experiencing it.

  3. #3
    The Lightbringer Deadvolcanoes's Avatar
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    I'm completely the opposite. I rarely reach out to other people in order to stay in contact with them, besides a small group of close friends. Not really sure why, just the way I am I guess.
    It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere.

  4. #4
    Dreadlord beardedcandy's Avatar
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    what does it matter who contacts whom? if you wanna see people, make an effort. other people probably are just indifferent and need some motivation

  5. #5
    The Unstoppable Force RICH816's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by munchkin View Post
    I always feel like I'm doing all the work.. always reaching out. I get sad/depressed sometimes because if I don't make an effort to reach out, my phone stays dead silent (in phone calls and text messages). I tested this a few weeks ago and very rarely to people get in touch/check on me. Sometimes I wonder why things are like this and I sometimes wonder why I am even alive in the first place.

    In a world filled with billions of other humans, I find a hard to connecting and building relationships with people around me. My attitude growing up was "Fuck everyone, I'm doing my own thing, who needs this shit?" Now, more than ever, I really get a sense of loneliness and I'm not sure what else to do or make of the situation.

    In essence, I feel like a ghost/spirit who can not be seen or reached out to.
    Thats why.
    Quote Originally Posted by Hobbes View Post
    I do sympathize with these so called terrorist organisations. As far as I'm concerned, at least they are fighting for something they believe in, and for what they see to be the greater good. They're not fighting to line the pockets of statesmen, governors and oil barons. I wish we could the same about the people on this side of the planet.
    Hobbes talking about Al Qaeda and ISIS.

  6. #6
    Maybe you're boring. And/or whiny. I mean, this post is kind of whiny, and I don't know a soul who likes talking to whiny people.
    If you are particularly bold, you could use a Shiny Ditto. Do keep in mind though, this will infuriate your opponents due to Ditto's beauty. Please do not use Shiny Ditto. You have been warned.

  7. #7
    Quote Originally Posted by Deadvolcanoes View Post
    I'm completely the opposite. I rarely reach out to other people in order to stay in contact with them, besides a small group of close friends. Not really sure why, just the way I am I guess.
    I'm the same way. I only literally have a couple of friends, which are my best friends, and I'm alright with that. I don't care to make new friends, really. I like just having a couple of friends that I tell everything to.

  8. #8
    I have a feeling you don't realize exactly the way you portray yourself, act, say etc. I think we've all been there at one point. I knew someone who was very negative, everything he said was negative and it had an impact on which friends kept in touch with him

  9. #9
    I am Murloc! Baracuda's Avatar
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    Play games with them online, play sports with them IRL or eat lunch together. My friends almost never call me unless I'm home sick and I'm glad they don't.
    Quote Originally Posted by kbarh View Post
    may i suggest you check out wowwiki or any similar site, it's Grom that orders the murder of Cairne

  10. #10
    The cliche term of, "friends stick by you no matter what" is a bunch of hogwash. If someone really is being that difficult, the majority are going to be like, screw this. Call me when you grow the hell up.

    You answered your own problem as people have pointed out already. Your attitude drove many people away. Now, you're going to have to build up relationships and friendships again. Least that's what it seems like to me. I don't mean to be rude or anything like that, it's just how it seems.

  11. #11
    Heh I like the peace and quite, if people want to contact me they can do it on facebook.
    If for whatever reason they need to see me in person we can make such plans on facebook so I ignore uninvited guests and play it like I am not home or asleep.

    The girlfriend being the only exception as she is the only person who isn't blood related other than my boss who has my cell number.

  12. #12
    People get busy, they make new friends and their priorities change. A lot of the people in our early lives (K-12) remain important to us (friends, teachers, etc.) but once those years are over, people no longer have to associate with you; they continue to do so or move on because they want to.

    If you were negative, people don't forget and so, they might be a little gun-shy about reconnecting. You can continue to try and reconnect and hope for the best (and you should if you miss those friendships) but don't close yourself off from the possibility of making new friends if the former doesn't pan out. It's difficult but you'll have to be the one to make the effort if you want change.

  13. #13
    I would almost say welcome to life. When my phone rings it's never "Hi how are you let's chat" it's "I want/need something from you". In some ways I prefer it this way though as I usually meet most of them on a daily basis.

    However, take a good hard look at yourself. You may not realize your the reason they aren't returning your calls. Most people want to have positive experiences and you may causing them to be having negative experiences. You may want to join a new club or try a new sport and meet new people. This give you the opportunity to start fresh with some friends.

    Good luck.

  14. #14
    Warchief Knight Gil's Avatar
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    Get friends that like you and that you have things in common with.

  15. #15
    The Lightbringer Payday's Avatar
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    Before I clicked on this from the main page, I was kind of hoping that no one had replied to this thread.

    Evil I know

  16. #16
    Building relationships requires some effort. It seems to me you barelly want to make any effort to build relationships, that's probably causing other people not to put in any effort as well.

    Just look at it this way: If you want to (re)build any of those relationships someone has to make the first step, it might as well be you.

  17. #17
    Warchief Knight Gil's Avatar
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    Building relationships requires some effort. It seems to me you barelly want to make any effort to build relationships, that's probably causing other people not to put in any effort as well.
    So he says that he feels like he's doing all the job to get in touch with friends, but it seems to you that it doesn't make any effort?

    Seems much more likely to me that his friends are shit

  18. #18
    Over 9000! Snowraven's Avatar
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    Because more and more people today are superficial in any kinds of relationships. Due to the growth of social networks, forums etc, they can have "fast food" friendships. What does it mean? They meet some people they like, they have fun with said people while they share a main interest and complain to said person and stuff. However, when said person has a problem too, they dump that person and find other "friends". Why? Because they can and don't want to help anyone. They can only think of themselves and feel the world revolves around them. If the person doesn't contact them or listen to their stories they can find others, on the other hand even if said person does, they don't feel the need to return the favor, since the problems of the other person, the life of the other person... is not theirs, so why care?

    I'm starting to see more and more of these people everywhere unfortunately, and it kind of disappoints me. I even had a such "friend" in WoW to whom I listened to all her problems and offered advice, yet when I had one, her response was something alike "man up and deal with it". In a way I feel sorry for people like this, because they'll never know what a true friend is and what it means to be a true friend.
    My suggestion? Dump all those friends and find new ones, these ones suck. Don't worry, they won't miss you for more then a few days until they can find new people to complain to. And not because you're not a nice person, but because that's how they are, superficial in every single relationship of any kind.

  19. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by munchkin View Post
    My attitude growing up was "Fuck everyone, I'm doing my own thing, who needs this shit?" Now, more than ever, I really get a sense of loneliness and I'm not sure what else to do or make of the situation.
    Looks like you answered your own question right there. Maybe you should have thought about that? I somehow don't believe "That Antisocial Kid from High School" is very high up on the speed dial.
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    Tradewind isn't helping.

  20. #20
    Over 9000! Snowraven's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TradewindNQ View Post
    Looks like you answered your own question right there. Maybe you should have thought about that? I somehow don't believe "That Antisocial Kid from High School" is very high up on the speed dial.
    I don't know, I read that as in he didn't do the things the majority did just to fit in, for example if everyone listened to... I don't know, Gangam Style, and he didn't like it, he said so and listened to something else. Just an example of course, but I read it as in "I wasn't a sheep just to fit in". Maybe I'm wrong.

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