Share your funny stories!

[TheAmazingFeedz]

This thread is strictly for having fun and posting everyone your funny/ embarrassing stories!



Mine was about when I was in grade 8. My mom had told me to clean up the dog shit in the back yard, and as I was done I called her on my phone to ask her where to put it. I thought my mom had told me to place it in the garburator(If anyone doesn't know what a garburator is, it's a garbage disposal/ sink that blends the disposals in the kitchen). Thinking that it was a good idea, I placed all the dog shit in the garburator and I thought it to be odd that my mom would tell me to do such a thing since it was spitting all over the place and smelled really bad(Luckily none went on me). So I called my mom again and asked her if she's sure I was supposed to put it in the gaburator, so she replied "No are you fucking retarded!?(exact words) I told you to put it in the fucking forest, where the hell did you get garburator!" So my mom rushed home and took her about 4 hours to clean the whole kitchen and a couple of days for the smell to fully wear off. I felt like an idiot for the rest of the month after that.

[Tradewind]

I was having a chat with a nice idk late teens early 20 something girl and she asks me if I liked legs or breasts. At first I was taken back a little bit, just because this girl was quite attractive. But I then worked up the courage and said to her "Well to be truthful, I much prefer a nice shaved snatch." Apparently I am no longer allowed in KFC anymore.

[TheAmazingFeedz]

I was having a chat with a nice idk late teens early 20 something girl and she asks me if I liked legs or breasts. At first I was taken back a little bit, just because this girl was quite attractive. But I then worked up the courage and said to her "Well to be truthful, I much prefer a nice shaved snatch." Apparently I am no longer allowed in KFC anymore.

AHAHAHA! Golden.

[Valrax]

Need more stories!

[Ciddy]

I used to work at a restaurant, and we had a small building outside with a bathroom in it that the employees could use. Anyway, there was a pretty good sized gap between the bottom of the door and the floor, and you could almost fit your hand under that gap. One guy who worked with me was in there taking a shit, and this 14-year-old kid (who also worked with us) lit and stuck a bottle rocket under the door. This was a small (like maybe 8 by 10) room, and the bottle rocket was one of those whistlers that screamed all the way up. I think the guy who was in there ended up shitting twice.

We had a lot of fun at that place on slow days. I could probably post a lot of other stories, but the above is probably the most hilarious one that comes to mind.

Also, I used to do a part-time job at the college library where I was basically the night shift librarian. It was usually slow at nights and boring as fuck. Most of my time spent there was either running a rag/spray bottle over all the tables or reading stuff myself. I was in there cleaning stuff one night and thought I was alone. I ripped the most wicked fart ever. It was pretty loud too, had some nice bass to it. Then I realized some chick was standing right on the other side of a bookshelf not 5 feet from me. There is absolutely no way she didn't hear it, and we were the only two there, so everyone knew who did it.

She didn't say anything, but she kinda gave me this "WTF is wrong with you?" look as she walked out. She was really hot too. That was embarassing. :|

[Deleted]

Haha enjoying this thread, might as well add to it!

Well... how to start this one off? Back in high school when I was 13 years old me and my small group of friends were pretty much how we are now, 100 % "nerds" always spoke about video games, hell we even brought in our Gameboys. God I miss those days. Anyhow it was just me and my friend walking down a corridor just wasting time at lunch time and these two girls came up to us and asked us about Pokémon Blue.... so obviously we both go into beta as **ck mode! O_O

So we have a good 20 minuet discussion about the game, which was FANTASTIC for us, we felt like pro's! So we start walking back as it's time for class (the girls are walking behind us) I somehow manage to walk directly onto a Banana skin (How bloody original?) I slip, and fall FLAT on my face. It was one of those moments where you just wished time froze itself so you can just get up, run and hide in a corner all day. The roar of laughter was insane, I am laughing like hell at it myself now, one of the girls was laughing but at least she helped me up! while my other friend was in tears. Good times haha.

[Ciddy]

Also, I wasn't there myself, but my brother loves to tell me of the time he was hanging out in a parking lot with some friends. They were getting ready to leave, and one of them thought it'd be funny to do a good burnout and haul ass out of the parking lot. Before the smoke even cleared (the friend never even made it out of the parking lot), they saw a pair of flashing blue lights come out of nowhere and were all in tears from laughing. Luckily, the cop wasn't an asshole.

[Deleted]

Eager to impress the teacher, and answer her biology question quickly - I said "orgasm" instead of "organism". Whole class burst out laughing, and I was like "wait, why's everyone lau-...ooooh" and then I proceeded to join in.

Funny times, I'll add more after others post.