We need to ban pressure cookers! The Fifth Amendment protects the rights of the citizens to own property, but that was written several hundred years ago and the world has changed! It's like the liberals always say, our rights are not unlimited. There is no reason anyone ever needs to own such a scary looking pressure cookers, we need to ban them immediately. Or at the very least, we should require all pressure cooker owners to register them with the federal government and obtain permits to buy new ones.
If we can't ban all pressure cookers, then we can focus on banning assault pressure cookers. These assault pressure cookers have terrifying features, such as handles, lids and pressure indicator pins! These features are simply too terrifying to be allowed to exist! There's no real reason anyone needs an assault pressure cooker anyway, as they're the exact same as non-assault pressure cookers, only with terrifying features!
Together we can put an end to the National Pressure Cooker Association's stranglehold on Congress and pass meaningful pressure cooker control laws. There's no reason anyone needs to own a pressure cooker anyway, they exist for only one purpose, to support killing! They're used to kill human beings, like we have seen in Boston, and they're used to kill and defile animals! How disgusting, surely we, as a society, have moved past the stage where we devour animals? It's not like eating meat is necessary to stay healthy or anything. Not to mention the fact that there are countless alternatives to pressure cooking, such as stoves, ovens and microwaves! Who needs such a dangerous, scary-looking device anyway? Do you agree that pressure cookers should be banned?