How cold hearted are you?

[isadorr]

I am the kind of person that if a woman married me, then I would be a great provider financially. I would take care of her and give her everything she needs. However, it there would be very little emotion and passion in the marriage. Even the bedroom would not be that hot, and mostly just about business.

Anyway that's me. How about you?

EDIT: Rating this type of stuff on some type of scale is boring to me. I figure a short descriptive story paints a better picture.

First of all this isnt a attitude. It is how one person is, people have these dreams of white picket fences and a love story out of a romance novel. Does anyone look at the divorce rate or chance that the person you marry will stay with out? A person being realistic in life isnt a bad thing and making a logical decision is better in the long run than emotionally. Like the person who wants to have kids but cant afford them but has them anyway. Logos, logic and being rationale would say that is ignorant and just puts the bill on someone else but another would say it is her right to have kids even though she cant afford them thus a emotional response instead of a logical response.

I would much rather marry someone like the OP that doesnt make promises that cant be kept and makes delusional statements to get the woman to marry him then as the disappointment sets in the marriages crumbles wasting time and money.

[sandmoth12]

I'm not sure if you understand in the first place the difference between Cold hearted and passionate. To be frank, you just sound immature.

Passionate has to do with desire. The biological need and how that biological urge expresses itself trough actions. Basically what YOU where saying is that you would horribly boring in the sack, but would be a great provider.

Now cold hearted is a different issue. It has to deal with the inability to feel empathy. If someone is hurting emotionally or physically, especially if it is a known person that would be close to us or known to us our normal reaction is to reach out any way we are able to, to provide assistance and ease that persons suffering.

If you don't ever feel that urge you can call yourself Cold hearted. But that would by default make you a horrible provider as you would be utterly unable to appreciate your partners needs, physical, emotional or otherwise.

I suppose you are correct so I changed the title.

[Okacz]

I am the kind of person that if a woman married me, then I would be a great provider financially. I would take care of her and give her everything she needs. However, it there would be very little emotion and passion in the marriage. Even the bedroom would not be that hot, and mostly just about business.

Anyway that's me. How about you?

EDIT: Rating this type of stuff on some type of scale is boring to me. I figure a short descriptive story paints a better picture.

Don't get it. You feel you are, what, obligated to do all those things? That society forces you to marry, produce children and live in suburbs?

You don't have to do any of that if you don't feel you want it. If you still havent found "somebody special", don't rush yourself. If you don't feel like having children, don't have them. Live your life like you love it and maybe, in the future, something will change.

Forcing yourself to marry a person you don't love, to live a life you don't want, to raise some children you don't care about sounds pretty fucking sad.

[Thelxi]

I am both really. Emotionally unintelligent people can quickly write me off as cold hearted, but really I am very sensitive with an enormous capacity for empathy and compassion.

[Puck]

Yeah, I suppose I would be one of those stone cold fathers that only shows emotion once in a blue moon. However, my kid would never go without food, clothing, good school, etc.

Kids need more than just financial stability.

[-Skye]

I used to be extremely sensetive to peoples issues, but over time I can feel myself caring less and less. (Unless it's close family). A year ago I went through a bad breakup that I'm still not over, after it happened I just feel like "meh, whatever" when people tell me their problems. *Shrugs*

[sandmoth12]

Kids need more than just financial stability.

Then I guess my kids will be flawed because of certain areas I lack in. But it's not really a big deal because we are all flawed in some way anyways.

[Deleted]

I care about most people actually.

I care most about my mother and best friend. Though I do care , even if just a bit, about any person on the planet. I wish everyone could live well and happy and healthy.

I only don't care about: serial killers, rapists, child molesters, people who are very selfish, people who don't care about anyone but themselves, people who care about money more then life. These I don't care about.


Also, OP, about your issue, "I can't have children with a dog". Well, no, you can't, but you can probably adopt a child.

[Puck]

Then I guess my kids will be flawed because of certain areas I lack in. But it's not really a big deal because we are all flawed in some way anyways.

Uhm, your Children being emotionally crippled is kind of a serious flaw.

[koodledrum]

I can be sensitive, but when I have to be I'm as heartless as it gets so long as business is taken care of.

[Deleted]

Pretty cold hearted. Generally unless something directly affects me then I don't have an emotional response. I understand when people are hurting but I just feel awkward not knowing how to respond. I try to rationalise situations for people when I see they are needing support but that's not exactly the best advice.

[The Oblivion]

Uhm, your Children being emotionally crippled is kind of a serious flaw.

over dramatic. just because someones dad isnt an emotional being, does not mean that the child will be. kids need financial stability a whole lot more then they need an emotional dad. a large number of parents lack both and still raise a happy, perfectly balanced family. so why would his be worse?

[sandmoth12]

Uhm, your Children being emotionally crippled is kind of a serious flaw.

Yes, and the opposite to that is children being ran entirely by emotion without logical reasoning. They can learn emotion and passion from their mother. Raising a kid with the perfect balance of logical reasoning, emotion, and passion is a pretty ridiculous goal to set. Accept that you are flawed and your kids will probably also be flawed in certain areas. Try to find a mate that counter acts those areas somewhat. That's the best you can do. Trying to raise perfect kids in a not perfect world with not perfect parents is a silly goal destined to fail from the beginning.

[Melt]

Oh give me a break. You aren't heartless you are passive. Why are you passive? Because you are scared. The threadtitle should be: How scared are you?

If you really want to know what being heartless is than go and kick a puppy without feeling any joy, disgust or any other feeling.

THEN you are heartless. Being passive and not careing about anything is not heartless it's either because you are lazy or scared or an idiot.

---------- Post added 2013-01-28 at 12:29 AM ----------

Then I guess my kids will be flawed because of certain areas I lack in. But it's not really a big deal because we are all flawed in some way anyways.

When was the last time you worked your ass off? And not the "sitting behind a desk studying or juggling numbers" kind of work, but real physical "fuck, my hands hurt so much i can't even masturbate for 3 days" type of work. You'll find your heart pretty fast i assure you.

Go build a house and try to burn it down afterwards without feeling anything and then you can claim to be heartless. Until then you probably are just to scared to commit to anything.

[Chloral]

I am suposably a heartless bitch because I don't want kids but would do anything for the people I love.

[bloodkin]

i care a great deal for my friends and family, though i'm very selective when i try to make friends. Beyond them, i don't really care for people or their problems, most people are the cause of their own problems anyway. I do however care about it when it's injustice, i hate that. So i can seem cold harted at times, but it's mostly because i don't care, and i have a low tolerance for stupidity.

[anveena]

I only care about the few people I consider family and friends. So wherever that rates on the cold hearted scale is where I'm at.

[Puck]

Yes, and the opposite to that is children being ran entirely by emotion without logical reasoning. They can learn emotion and passion from their mother. Raising a kid with the perfect balancing logical reasoning ability with emotion and passion is a pretty ridiculous goal to set. Accept that you are flawed and your kids will probably also be flawed in certain areas. Try to find a mate that counter acts those areas somewhat. That's the best you can do. Trying to raise perfect kids in a not perfect world with not perfect parents is a silly goal destined to fail from the beginning.

So your answer is "Kids are going to be flawed anyways, why even bother trying?"

Please, never have children.

[Phookah]

over dramatic. just because someones dad isnt an emotional being, does not mean that the child will be. kids need financial stability a whole lot more then they need an emotional dad. a large number of parents lack both and still raise a happy, perfectly balanced family. so why would his be worse?

Have you never heard the term Daddy Issues?
Pretty much only happens because of situations like that.

[sandmoth12]

Oh give me a break. You aren't heartless you are passive. Why are you passive? Because you are scared. The threadtitle should be: How scared are you?

If you really want to know what being heartless is than go and kick a puppy without feeling any joy, disgust or any other feeling.

THEN you are heartless. Being passive and not careing about anything is not heartless it's either because you are lazy or scared or an idiot.

---------- Post added 2013-01-28 at 12:29 AM ----------



When was the last time you worked your ass off? And not the "sitting behind a desk studying or juggling numbers" kind of work, but real physical "fuck, my hands hurt so much i can't even masturbate for 3 days" type of work. You'll find your heart pretty fast i assure you.

Go build a house and try to burn it down afterwards without feeling anything and then you can claim to be heartless. Until then you probably are just to scared to commit to anything.

Yeah, I suppose you are right. I am not heartless, and just passive instead. I do find it suspicious that you shrug off book work like it is easier than manual labor though. It is a very judgmental sentiment assuming one class of work is somehow harder than another.