Swinging and swapping partners

[Chingylol]

So I just found out my good friend and his wife are swingers. They brought it up when I was making a joke about online dating, and they said they belonged to a swinger site. They told me all about the "Lifestyle" and how it works and it amazed me. These two are VERY much in love and have a great relationship, and extremely honest with each other. They said swinging made their relationship and trust BETTER. Basically they meet up with other couples and grab dinner and drinks and if things go well they go grab a hotel room or go back to one of their places. The stories they told me were pretty shocking. When I think of swingers I think of old obese people but both of them are in great shape and the wife is extremely good looking. They also said that most swingers in the 20's and 30's are above average looking and don't fit the stereotype, and have normal jobs and lead normal lives.

Are there any swinger couples here? Do you agree that it makes your relationship stronger? Mods, please don't close this since it doesn't have anything to do with sex acts or anything R-rated, I'm simply just wondering if there are others that participate in it and what their thoughts on it are.

[Blueobelisk]

Honestly sounds gross to me.

[Reg]

Love and sex aren't necessarily mutual.

[Deleted]

It's not for me, even if the other half agreed to it, it is still cheating in my eyes.

[Sorensen]

There was a couple in my guild when I played that were swingers, seemed kinda odd but whatever.

[Chingylol]

It's not for me, even if the other half agreed to it, it is still cheating in my eyes.

Basically they said that it doesn't count as cheating because both know what the other is doing, and both are present when things are happening lol.. In fact, the wife actually LOOKS for other woman for him..

[IRL]

Not exaggerating. Reading that made my stomach churn.

If sleeping around was so important, why would you get married in the first place?

This completely separates marriage, love, and physical union. On the surface, people may view this as harmless sex, but you can't break down a marriage into individual components without causing (great) damage.

[Pull My Finger]

People do a lot of crazy shit. I can't even pretend I care. As long as they stay away from me.

[poser765]

Hey if it works for them, power to them. I think the reality is it doesn't work for most people. I don't think divorce rates among swingers are any higher than non swingers, though, so there is that. Conversely I think if even one person isn't totally committed to the life style than there are going to be some big issues.

[Xanjori]

I can understand people that want to be swingers. Sometimes you love someone and want to live with them, but also want to enjoy sex with other people. I don't see it as a bad thing, if both partners are fully agreeable to that I cant really see it causing issues.

I also don't think you'll get many people come in here and say "I am/was a swinger" when they'll most likely receive a very negative reaction.

[Liagala]

If it makes them happy, good for them. There's very little in terms of sexual activity that's objectively bad - for the most part, if both partners like it, then it's all good. The only problem with this sort of thing would come up if one partner did not like the idea, and the other did.

[Reg]

Sex doesn't have to be an emotion driven act. Hell, the only real emotion I have is anger. If a couple is fine with loving one another but choosing to have sex with other people on occasion, good for them.

[Zom]

Did they elaborate on why having sex with other people made their relationship better etc? Not judging btw just genuinly curious.

[Deleted]

I'm not a swinger myself, but don't find anything wrong with this. I mean if both sides of the couple know and agree with it what's the issue? That they're having sex with someone else? So? Your relevant other is only yours in terms of their soul, their soul belongs to you and your soul to them. You love eachother. Sex however doesn't always have to do with love. It's a physical desire more then anything. And it spices up your life to try new stuff. Either by new positions, cosplay or... if both partners are up to it, having other partners too. But only if both partners know and agree.

I find it perfectly ok as such.

[The Riddler]

It works for them ... FOR NOW. That's the better way to look at it. This may be the one couple in a million that can handle the so-called 'open relationship' and it doesn't impact themselves much. But what happens when kids come into the picture? What happens in 10 years when he's still on the eternal Male fornication spree and her interest is gone? What happens when some other man wants to keep banging the guy's wife, but that guy's wife doesn't want to see him? They may be making it work for a narrow slice of their lives, but this isn't going to last and when it ends it isn't going to be pretty. Wickedness never was happiness.

[Rukentuts]

But what happens when kids come into the picture?

If, not when.

What happens in 10 years when he's still on the eternal Male fornication spree and her interest is gone?

Almost exclusively his libido dies before hers.

What happens when some other man wants to keep banging the guy's wife, but that guy's wife doesn't want to see him?

What happens during any consensual relationship? It ends.

[Deleted]

whatever floats their boat tbh.
some couples are into S&M, Others into Role Play, As long as both are consenting partners I see no harm in it.

[Spl4sh3r]

I saw some documentary on TV before about swingers. Basicly all there is to it is a relationship without jealousy. Ofcourse there might be some rules about what they can and can't do with others ;P

I myself is jealous of me, so that won't happen with my partner! Or rather I don't want my partner doing it, I wouldn't mind doing it myself ;D

[Deleted]

I dont mind people who swing but the lifestyle wouldnt be for me.

[Deleted]

Plenty of people are open minded about sex and relationships and don't feel the same level of jealousy as others, don't necessarily believe in monogamy. Some agree to have open relationships, otherwise have threesomes or swing. As long as everyone is being safe, no one is getting hurt, I don't see why anyone would have a problem with it to be honest. What other people do in the bedroom is surely their own business.

I don't see how anyone could call it cheating if it's consensual, there is no lawbook of life that says humans must have a single partner. Whatever works for other people is fine with me... I really don't understand why people judge others private habits.